Route: Ruthin, St Asaph, Bylchau, Brenig, Cerrig, Clocaenog, Ruthin
Reporting for duty: Robbo, Big Al, Rocket, Chris, Ronnie, Vino, Candle, Craig
Apologies: Lantern
Route map below, Vino (Carl) will hopefully treat us to one of his write ups (stop press - he has done, see MESSAGE BOARD)
Sunday 27 March 2011
Tuesday 22 March 2011
Flanders…..Oh Shit!!!
19/03/11
Chapeau (apologies if spelt wrong but spell check doesn’t work in French!!) to Carl for his fabulous resume of the weekend’s ride; much more of this and I’m retiring from writing my column. Plus seeing as we are getting more splits than a gymnastics team at the mo it’s quite hard to write a coherent account; or maybe I’m just suffering too much at the moment…..
Anyhow after listening to Chris’ weather forecast on Sat the Lantern loaded up his summer bike with its shining new wheels……..to find it was raining in Rhostyllen or, as Allan calls it, the land of milk and honey. Ron must have got the same forecast as he also had his summer steed and was wearing shorts. Mind you his legs made mine look sun burnt.
The Hughes triumvirate was completed when Dave turned up. Now I know I haven’t seen him for a while but when did he turn into a retired Italian cyclist? Has he been on the sun bed? Kept expecting him to undo his weatherproof to reveal a roll neck sweater and say “grazi”.
Once the Candle had condescended to get ready (note 9am means ready to ride not standing outside your 4X4 scratching your arse - you’ll be left one day and then you’ll be sorry!!), received a verbal warning for tardiness from the Patron and Aled and Steve (is that right? - no one introduced me again) turned up, the peloton set out to met Matinee.
Now to most of the pack it’s a nice amble down to Overton but for the bloater called the Lantern its rolling followed by the drag up to Overton, that reveals early he has the power output of a terminally ill badger (he was starting to smell like one as well…..).
More pain followed on the way to Ellesmere where the peloton first split. The Hughes brothers and the Patron were rolling along with Dave and keeping an eye on the Lantern as he threatened to “do a Dave” as it has become known, and climb off.
The group split again as the 2nd bunch passed the “willy wavers” at the front who were lounging by the side of the road for some reason. Subsequent investigation revealed that Karl had forgotten his wallet; maybe they just wanted to chase…….
The Hughes posse, the Patron & the Lantern continued through the Shropshire countryside over shit/mud encrusted roads. Chris continuing to assert “it’ll clear up later”. Dave taking a few impressive turns on the front while the Lantern concentrated on staying fairly close to them.
Eventually the lazy half arsed chase group caught up (Note to Editor: as I didn’t witness the chase I’m merely extrapolating from the time it took you…..). The Candle still had enough breath to goad the Lantern……. Really hope he doesn’t fall off or anything before September…!!!!
The enlarged peloton (I think the Patron suffered from one of those last year) careered on towards the café. Another split left the Patron to drag the Lantern to the café. As ever the food was great & the Lantern finally met Aled (but not Steve!) and had a very restorative bowl of soup.
There was a certain amount of willy waving around the table where people tried to suggest more outlandish hills to climb on the way back (pretty sure someone mentioned Everest at one point). The Lantern kept his head down and Dave sucked a gel thoughtfully……..
Thankfully the Patron took pity and chose a fairly innocuous route which still nearly did for the Lantern!! Half a mile out from the café and there was a large rasping noise - I swear everyone looked at the Patron….. Robbo had blown a tyre. On the way from Oswestry to Western Rhyn the Patron followed suit and the rest of the lads had a nice rest and got to ogle a fine set of jugs which, should they ever turned up to be valued on Antiques Roadshow, would double their viewing figures at a stroke (and cause a few….).
After that there was another split; and the Lantern never saw Robbo, Carl, Aled or Steve again. I’ll draw a veil over the grovel up the Tally Ho and the near miss where the Lantern nearly bounced his nadgers off his top tube……
Tea and food on Al’s patio; the food of the gods. Very tired but one thought kept nagging at the back of my mind - why do Carl’s knees stick out so much when he rides….
That’s 3 weeks out of 4 for the Lantern (admittedly only 2 with the Crapis) so maybe the new topic for the lads can be “Do you think the lantern will ever lose some weight?”.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to encourage and ride alongside the Lantern; it is much appreciated. Thanks to Matinee for not giving one of his inspirational speeches. Ditto to Ron - and hurry up with my France DVD!!!!!
P.S. Carl I reckon Chris and Ron are waiting for Dave to get up to speed so they can launch their patented “Red Arrows” attack on the Peloton.
P.P.S. Carl remember your wallet next week - Lindsey said it was stuffed with cash!!!
P.P.P.S. Wheels are greeeaaatttt!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.P.P.P.S It cleared up!!!
Chapeau (apologies if spelt wrong but spell check doesn’t work in French!!) to Carl for his fabulous resume of the weekend’s ride; much more of this and I’m retiring from writing my column. Plus seeing as we are getting more splits than a gymnastics team at the mo it’s quite hard to write a coherent account; or maybe I’m just suffering too much at the moment…..
Anyhow after listening to Chris’ weather forecast on Sat the Lantern loaded up his summer bike with its shining new wheels……..to find it was raining in Rhostyllen or, as Allan calls it, the land of milk and honey. Ron must have got the same forecast as he also had his summer steed and was wearing shorts. Mind you his legs made mine look sun burnt.
The Hughes triumvirate was completed when Dave turned up. Now I know I haven’t seen him for a while but when did he turn into a retired Italian cyclist? Has he been on the sun bed? Kept expecting him to undo his weatherproof to reveal a roll neck sweater and say “grazi”.
Once the Candle had condescended to get ready (note 9am means ready to ride not standing outside your 4X4 scratching your arse - you’ll be left one day and then you’ll be sorry!!), received a verbal warning for tardiness from the Patron and Aled and Steve (is that right? - no one introduced me again) turned up, the peloton set out to met Matinee.
Now to most of the pack it’s a nice amble down to Overton but for the bloater called the Lantern its rolling followed by the drag up to Overton, that reveals early he has the power output of a terminally ill badger (he was starting to smell like one as well…..).
More pain followed on the way to Ellesmere where the peloton first split. The Hughes brothers and the Patron were rolling along with Dave and keeping an eye on the Lantern as he threatened to “do a Dave” as it has become known, and climb off.
The group split again as the 2nd bunch passed the “willy wavers” at the front who were lounging by the side of the road for some reason. Subsequent investigation revealed that Karl had forgotten his wallet; maybe they just wanted to chase…….
The Hughes posse, the Patron & the Lantern continued through the Shropshire countryside over shit/mud encrusted roads. Chris continuing to assert “it’ll clear up later”. Dave taking a few impressive turns on the front while the Lantern concentrated on staying fairly close to them.
Eventually the lazy half arsed chase group caught up (Note to Editor: as I didn’t witness the chase I’m merely extrapolating from the time it took you…..). The Candle still had enough breath to goad the Lantern……. Really hope he doesn’t fall off or anything before September…!!!!
The enlarged peloton (I think the Patron suffered from one of those last year) careered on towards the café. Another split left the Patron to drag the Lantern to the café. As ever the food was great & the Lantern finally met Aled (but not Steve!) and had a very restorative bowl of soup.
There was a certain amount of willy waving around the table where people tried to suggest more outlandish hills to climb on the way back (pretty sure someone mentioned Everest at one point). The Lantern kept his head down and Dave sucked a gel thoughtfully……..
Thankfully the Patron took pity and chose a fairly innocuous route which still nearly did for the Lantern!! Half a mile out from the café and there was a large rasping noise - I swear everyone looked at the Patron….. Robbo had blown a tyre. On the way from Oswestry to Western Rhyn the Patron followed suit and the rest of the lads had a nice rest and got to ogle a fine set of jugs which, should they ever turned up to be valued on Antiques Roadshow, would double their viewing figures at a stroke (and cause a few….).
After that there was another split; and the Lantern never saw Robbo, Carl, Aled or Steve again. I’ll draw a veil over the grovel up the Tally Ho and the near miss where the Lantern nearly bounced his nadgers off his top tube……
Tea and food on Al’s patio; the food of the gods. Very tired but one thought kept nagging at the back of my mind - why do Carl’s knees stick out so much when he rides….
That’s 3 weeks out of 4 for the Lantern (admittedly only 2 with the Crapis) so maybe the new topic for the lads can be “Do you think the lantern will ever lose some weight?”.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to encourage and ride alongside the Lantern; it is much appreciated. Thanks to Matinee for not giving one of his inspirational speeches. Ditto to Ron - and hurry up with my France DVD!!!!!
P.S. Carl I reckon Chris and Ron are waiting for Dave to get up to speed so they can launch their patented “Red Arrows” attack on the Peloton.
P.P.S. Carl remember your wallet next week - Lindsey said it was stuffed with cash!!!
P.P.P.S. Wheels are greeeaaatttt!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.P.P.P.S It cleared up!!!
Sunday 6 March 2011
6th March 2011
The Blaenau Lung Buster
The signs are unmistakeable. Daffs are peeking shyly out from sunny roadsides, Big Al's legs have made their first appearance since last October, Ian's new wheels are still in their bags and Chris has just baked his millionth hot cross bun. Yes, that's right, 'tis the season for the traditional Summer bike opener, the Blaenau lung buster! Not a particularly long ride, but a total bugger after the relative flat of our over-wintering pastures around Maesbury. A respectable turnout congregated in Bala. First to arrive were Robbo, the Assassin and the Pup, followed shortly by Candle, le patron, Chrissy, Lord Baltimore and Dave.
We climbed steadily out of Bala and across the Migneint, basking in the glorious spring sunshine. Steady didn't last for long however, as egos tussled and scrapped up and over the Crimea pass to be first to the cafe. The return leg out of Betws was as hard as I can remember, barely struggling to maintain 20mph on the flat in the teeth of a biting headwind. With 10 mile to go, the inevitable turn right on our own 'road to hell' signalled the start of the draggy, heavy and generally ball breaking final push back to Bala.
The signs are unmistakeable. Daffs are peeking shyly out from sunny roadsides, Big Al's legs have made their first appearance since last October, Ian's new wheels are still in their bags and Chris has just baked his millionth hot cross bun. Yes, that's right, 'tis the season for the traditional Summer bike opener, the Blaenau lung buster! Not a particularly long ride, but a total bugger after the relative flat of our over-wintering pastures around Maesbury. A respectable turnout congregated in Bala. First to arrive were Robbo, the Assassin and the Pup, followed shortly by Candle, le patron, Chrissy, Lord Baltimore and Dave.
We climbed steadily out of Bala and across the Migneint, basking in the glorious spring sunshine. Steady didn't last for long however, as egos tussled and scrapped up and over the Crimea pass to be first to the cafe. The return leg out of Betws was as hard as I can remember, barely struggling to maintain 20mph on the flat in the teeth of a biting headwind. With 10 mile to go, the inevitable turn right on our own 'road to hell' signalled the start of the draggy, heavy and generally ball breaking final push back to Bala.
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