Tuesday 20 December 2011
Get well soon Dave!
All of the Crapiwheelers would like to wish Dave 'Coppi' Hughes a speedy recovery following his nasty crash and broken hip last weekend. Get well soon mate.
Saturday 10 December 2011
Winter run to Corwen 10th December 2011
Reporting for duty: Patron, Chrissy, Robbo, Lamby, Cabbage, Coppi, Ronnie
47 miles, 17.2mph ave.
47 miles, 17.2mph ave.
Monday 5 December 2011
OTB - 26/11/11 Lots of wind and weak bladders!!
The morning was blowy but dry as messrs Patron, Chris, Vino, Coppi and Lantern departed from the usual rendezvous point. For once there was no Rocket Ronnie who was taking a week off from trying to rip everybody’s legs off to earn a few more pennies to pay for his Guinness intake. Coppi, as has been his habit lately, was looking pensive and vouched he didn’t feel great. Is it me or has he not been the same since he’s cut down to 13 gels a ride?
Somewhere by the colliery the lantern looked round and his eyes saw something they’d never seen before - a bright yellow cabbage!! Where had he sprung from? Now up to six the peleton made its way to Overton and into the face of an ever strengthening wind (and no for once Al wasn’t to blame…).
Coppi was by now suffering, and sadly he had to pull himself off and head home (its never good when you’re forced to pull yourself off just to get some relief…..). Hopefully he’ll be sufficiently revived by next week to join the Lantern to enjoy the view from the back of the bunch. Hopefully see you soon FDI.
Soon after the group met up with Matinee and Brian who’d ridden out to meet the bunch. “Let's get feckin organised, front man peels off” barked the normally easy going Matinee after barely a brief “Have you ever fished there?” conversation with Patron. It soon became apparent that he’d over imbibed the previous evening and was slightly under the weather (Don’t worry girls he still looked gorgeous….).
After the Patron and Chris had set the tempo on the front the Lantern had a go and managed to lower the pace somewhat. Well it is supposed to be winter pace after all. As soon as the Lantern peeled off Vino floored it and took the pace up a good 4-5mph. Struggling to stay on the back the Lantern thought dark thoughts. Cabbage in the middle of the bunch, with no cleats, was oblivious. Everyone else adopted the “This pace is fine” stiff upper lip attitude, not seen since Dunkirk. “It could be worse” thought the Lantern; “At least Ronnie isn’t here to go mad on the front”.
By the time he next went on the front the Lantern was willing to retract his previous statement. Having just struggled to hold Chris’ wheel for the previous five minutes he was somewhat pooped before he hit the front. Thankfully the infirm bladders of most of the peleton came to his rescue and a piss stop was duly called. Vino impressively leaping a fence in one bound such was his desire for relief…..
After passing through West Felton the group neared the café but, spurred on by Matinee (“Please sir can we go further” kind of thing), the Patron ordered the bunch to turn the opposite direction and head for Llanymynech. The Lantern just about held onto to Chris’s coattails this time but the effort was to cost him dear. About a mile down the road his red faced gurning startled a passing horse that skittered
across the road and nearly collected the bunch. Only the Patron crooning “It’s ok baby” brought it to its senses, and it wisely cantered back across the road away from the lycra clad Lantern…. After Matinee was nearly collected twice by classic cars - a Y reg Mondeo and an old boxy Astra, the group made the café and the Lantern sunk gratefully into his chair.
Cabbage here made the tactical error of not eating despite horsing it on the front every time it was his turn. He was to learn a hard lesson later on.
After the café the Lantern remarked to Matinee “My its gone cold”; translated into Matinee speak this was “Bloody hell mate lets barrel along at 20+mph to get us nicely warm. The Lantern slid slowly off the back as the ever ready and keen Patron, Vino, Brian and Chris swept by to take up the slack.
On the way out of Oswestry towards Western Rhyn, Matinee insisted on pushing the Lantern up every drag saying “Its better if we all stick together”. The witty rejoiner “Well f**king slow down a bit” died on the Lantern’s lips as he was too knackered by this stage. What happens then? The weak bladder brigade need another piss stop!!!!!
After that Brian and Matinee & most of the others shot off leaving the Lantern and Cabbage to bring up the rear. Matinee and Brian were not glimpsed again but the others were rejoined going up Chirk Bank. The Lantern lived up to his nickname and sneaked through the lights in Chirk followed by the opportunist Vino.
Vino had dropped the Lantern before they left Chirk but kept sitting up and waiting for the Lantern right up to the bottom of the Tally Ho when he rightly thought “He’s not coming back” and he was never seen again. Is it just me that wonders how good Vino would be in the cyclo-cross if he didn’t come out with us the day before? All I can say is chappo!!
Near the top of the Tally Ho Patron, Chrissy and Cabbage caught the Lantern and the Patron said Cabbage had suffered “the knock”. At the lights in Chirk he’d begun trembling like Shakin Stevens, and only a trusty gel had sorted him out.
As they wound their way home the Lantern and Cabbage both vouchsafed they were knackered. The Patron and Chris reluctantly admitted it had been a bit fast (but are probably both denying it by now) but they couldn’t help “getting caught up” in it.
It was a very windy day so hats off to everyone for getting round in various states of distress. My man of the match goes to Chris as it was like riding behind a derny bike at times. Hopefully everyone will have recovered for next week and, if it’s a Sunday ride, I’ll see you there (at the rugby on Sat).
Somewhere by the colliery the lantern looked round and his eyes saw something they’d never seen before - a bright yellow cabbage!! Where had he sprung from? Now up to six the peleton made its way to Overton and into the face of an ever strengthening wind (and no for once Al wasn’t to blame…).
Coppi was by now suffering, and sadly he had to pull himself off and head home (its never good when you’re forced to pull yourself off just to get some relief…..). Hopefully he’ll be sufficiently revived by next week to join the Lantern to enjoy the view from the back of the bunch. Hopefully see you soon FDI.
Soon after the group met up with Matinee and Brian who’d ridden out to meet the bunch. “Let's get feckin organised, front man peels off” barked the normally easy going Matinee after barely a brief “Have you ever fished there?” conversation with Patron. It soon became apparent that he’d over imbibed the previous evening and was slightly under the weather (Don’t worry girls he still looked gorgeous….).
After the Patron and Chris had set the tempo on the front the Lantern had a go and managed to lower the pace somewhat. Well it is supposed to be winter pace after all. As soon as the Lantern peeled off Vino floored it and took the pace up a good 4-5mph. Struggling to stay on the back the Lantern thought dark thoughts. Cabbage in the middle of the bunch, with no cleats, was oblivious. Everyone else adopted the “This pace is fine” stiff upper lip attitude, not seen since Dunkirk. “It could be worse” thought the Lantern; “At least Ronnie isn’t here to go mad on the front”.
By the time he next went on the front the Lantern was willing to retract his previous statement. Having just struggled to hold Chris’ wheel for the previous five minutes he was somewhat pooped before he hit the front. Thankfully the infirm bladders of most of the peleton came to his rescue and a piss stop was duly called. Vino impressively leaping a fence in one bound such was his desire for relief…..
After passing through West Felton the group neared the café but, spurred on by Matinee (“Please sir can we go further” kind of thing), the Patron ordered the bunch to turn the opposite direction and head for Llanymynech. The Lantern just about held onto to Chris’s coattails this time but the effort was to cost him dear. About a mile down the road his red faced gurning startled a passing horse that skittered
across the road and nearly collected the bunch. Only the Patron crooning “It’s ok baby” brought it to its senses, and it wisely cantered back across the road away from the lycra clad Lantern…. After Matinee was nearly collected twice by classic cars - a Y reg Mondeo and an old boxy Astra, the group made the café and the Lantern sunk gratefully into his chair.
Cabbage here made the tactical error of not eating despite horsing it on the front every time it was his turn. He was to learn a hard lesson later on.
After the café the Lantern remarked to Matinee “My its gone cold”; translated into Matinee speak this was “Bloody hell mate lets barrel along at 20+mph to get us nicely warm. The Lantern slid slowly off the back as the ever ready and keen Patron, Vino, Brian and Chris swept by to take up the slack.
On the way out of Oswestry towards Western Rhyn, Matinee insisted on pushing the Lantern up every drag saying “Its better if we all stick together”. The witty rejoiner “Well f**king slow down a bit” died on the Lantern’s lips as he was too knackered by this stage. What happens then? The weak bladder brigade need another piss stop!!!!!
After that Brian and Matinee & most of the others shot off leaving the Lantern and Cabbage to bring up the rear. Matinee and Brian were not glimpsed again but the others were rejoined going up Chirk Bank. The Lantern lived up to his nickname and sneaked through the lights in Chirk followed by the opportunist Vino.
Vino had dropped the Lantern before they left Chirk but kept sitting up and waiting for the Lantern right up to the bottom of the Tally Ho when he rightly thought “He’s not coming back” and he was never seen again. Is it just me that wonders how good Vino would be in the cyclo-cross if he didn’t come out with us the day before? All I can say is chappo!!
Near the top of the Tally Ho Patron, Chrissy and Cabbage caught the Lantern and the Patron said Cabbage had suffered “the knock”. At the lights in Chirk he’d begun trembling like Shakin Stevens, and only a trusty gel had sorted him out.
As they wound their way home the Lantern and Cabbage both vouchsafed they were knackered. The Patron and Chris reluctantly admitted it had been a bit fast (but are probably both denying it by now) but they couldn’t help “getting caught up” in it.
It was a very windy day so hats off to everyone for getting round in various states of distress. My man of the match goes to Chris as it was like riding behind a derny bike at times. Hopefully everyone will have recovered for next week and, if it’s a Sunday ride, I’ll see you there (at the rugby on Sat).
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