Tuesday 12th June 2012
The day dawned drizzly and overcast and once the Hughes chalet had liaised with Matinee, the Lantern was allowed to go back to bed. “I’m not getting soaked again” seemed to be the prevailing sentiment.
Apart from Messrs Craig, Gladys and the Candle who braved the murk and the drizzle and set off to do the “balcony” road. This is a road that is reached by cycling up Alpe D’Huez for the first five hairpins and then turning right. The road is “bolted onto the side of the mountain and affords a stunning view of the Romanche valley. Eventually if you follow the road you come out in La Freney which is a couple of kilometres below Lake Chambon.
Once they reached the valley road the weather picked up tremendously and soon they were climbing the Alpe in sunshine (or that’s what the told us!!). After a stunning ride of some thirty odd miles our intrepid trio returned to Bourg for a spot of lunch. On the ride back Gladys announced he was going to ride up to the Col du Lauterat where he would encounter Coppi and the Lantern (more of this later). Craig and the Candle both said “Feck that” and rode back to camp.
Meanwhile back at camp the morning had progressed along the lines of sunshine and showers and Matinee had decided it was a day off for him and the Lantern. Matinee subsequently spent most of the afternoon working on his tan (easy there ladies) and ploughing through “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” (Its very good if you haven’t read it - but remember to read the other two first!!).
Ron and Chris made the decision early afternoon to go and ride the “balcony” road themselves. Apart from the fact that they dodged the showers I don’t really know what happened though I think its safe to assume that Ron attacked at some point on the ride back (my notes say he didn’t but I can‘t believe that!!)!!
The Lantern offered to take Coppi up to see the Col du Galibier assuming his bladder could withstand the approx 37Km car ride to get there. The road up is quite scenic and the air was punctured from time to time by an awestruck “No way” as the peleton’s answer to Hinge and Bracket made their way up to the Col du Lauterat.
Coppi made the somewhat rash decision that his bladder would hold whilst they drove the 8km from the Col du Lauterat up to the Galibier. Soon the car was moving through snow banks with stunning views (as well as a startlingly steep drop) on one side. Coppi, camera whirring like David Bailey, was clicking away like, well, his hip.
By the top Coppi posed for a picture by the Henry Desgrange memorial. I think the cold up there (it was 2 degrees according to the car!!) must have affected him for he suddenly announced a desperate urge for a piss. “There’s no one around go behind the memorial” the lantern said. No sooner had Coppi scuttled crab-like behind the memorial and starting relieving himself (not an image you want to keep is it) than a dozen German bikers turned up and started posing for photos round the front. I can just imagine that they’ll get more than they bargained for when they get the photos back - they might be slightly over exposed!! Next minute a skier appears from Coppi’s right and skies right past him before falling over. Apparently yellow snow isn’t so good for skiing on…….
By now snow was starting to fall quite vigorously and the Lantern drove Coppi off the mountain with Coppi muttering under his breath “No f**king way would I climb this on a bike”. On the descent Coppi saw a marmot and his day was complete.
After Coppi had recovered from his near frostbite with a coffee - don’t think the waiter had ever seen one dunked in a coffee cup before…….. - the plucky duo began their descent where they encountered Gladys so they turned round and gave him a lift back from the top.
On the journey back Coppi got a text off Ron “Bring beer” so we had to divert via the supermarket. It subsequently transpired that they’d got through 72 bottles to that point in the week. Quote from Coppi “I’ve only had four!!”.
Back at camp Matinee had acquired the Petanque from the campsite and various combinations of Chris, Ron, the Candle, Matinee and the Lantern did battle for a couple of hours. Ron, who it must be said picked the game up quick, threw one of his balls very close to the jack. “That’s got good legs” said Chris at the precise moment Coppi lurched into view; “Unlike your brother” deadpanned Matinee.
Wednesday 13th June 2012
Matinee was up early and chomping at the bit ready for tackling the balcony road. The Lantern wasn’t quite so perky (possibly a slight understatement) and was thinking maybe he should have gone yesterday as the big ride was scheduled for tomorrow.
Anyway they went and the Lantern suffered like a dog up the Alpe and he decided if he felt like that tomorrow he’d be lucky to make it down to Bourg never mind up the Croix du Fer. On the balcony road Matinee stopped to watch an eagle (Don Henley apparently). As he and the Lantern reached the end of the road where the mountain above you drops away an eagle (possibly the same one but it did look more like Joe Walsh) glided in from the left on a thermal about ten feet above them. It was a magnificent site and the lads knew just how to do the moment justice “After three; one, two, three……..NO WAY!!!”.
After a nice extra climb up to Auris (which Matinee had found on the map) which was unfortunately closed (literally - the whole place was “ferme”) they made their way down to La Freney where they found a very nice roadside café serving steak and chips; Matinee even managed half a bottle of Rose. Well we were on holiday after all!!
The sun shone down and it was a very pleasant interlude before returning to base.
Craig, Gladys and the Candle had decreed a day off for themselves and headed off to Briancon for a bit of sightseeing and, in the case of Craig and the Candle, a bit of sunburn. Belisha beacons spring to mind and if you’ve seen the photos you’ll know what I mean. On their return to base the intrepid trio hopped on their bikes and cycled ten miles down the road before stopping off at the pub on the way back. Well we were on holiday after all!!
Coppi decided to have another crack at La Barade aided by his two brothers. Coppi opted to ride the whole way rather than get driven up the first climb. By his own admission he suffered a bit (okay okay like a dog) but he persevered and made it to the top under his own steam. Another great achievement given the length of time he was off the bike. It really is a stunning ride with breath-taking views. Coppi high on achievement (and paracetamol, anadin, ibruphen, co-codomol, syndol, panadol, kapeke, pro plus, morphine and opium….to name a few) attacked the descent with gusto and very nearly paid the price. Taking a bend far too fast, he reckoned it was only the steel in his hip acting as a counterweight that kept him on the road.
That night plans were discussed for the next day. Coppi, mindful of not over extending himself, was planning on doing the balcony road on his own.
Craig, Gladys, the Candle, Chris, Ron and Matinee were all up for the big three - Croix de Fer, Telegraphe & Galibier.
The Lantern? Well he’d see how he felt on the Croix de fer tomorrow.
Thursday 14 June 2012
The day dawned sunny and bright, unlike the Lantern, who has never been good in the morning. The peleton set off just before 8am for what promised to be an epic day in the saddle.
The peleton that day being everyone bar Coppi who had taken the decision that he’d do the Balcony road on his own rather than slow the group up on the Croix de fer. By his account he slogged up the first five hairpins on alpe d’Huez but agreed it had been worth it. Coppi said he had sat on the wall and looked out across the valley and drunk in the views, topped up his tan and reflected on how much he had achieved on his bike during the holiday. He did not see an eagle though.
The main group reached the bottom of the Croix de Fer without too much incident and splintered as people began to climb at their own pace. Craig was first up the road followed by Gladys and the Candle riding together. The Lantern was next on the road but he could hear the Hughes brothers and Matinee behind him as they caught him following their world record breaking piss stop. The Lantern climbing steadily (and not bad for a fatty) found his legs feeling much better than yesterday and found himself at Le Molard (where you can fill up your bottles) almost before he knew it. Last time he climbed this Col he’d had about three stops by then!! The Hughes brothers and Matinee caught up and then the Lantern forged ahead again as Matinee and Chris; who were standing in for Coppi; needed another piss.
Eventually the Hughes brothers and Matinee caught the Lantern and they rode together round the hairpins that lead up to the grandly titled Lac de Grand Maison where the whole group came back together as Craig had stopped to take some pictures. The Candle had apparently missed the water trough to fill your bottles and gratefully accepted half a bidon from the Lantern (and downed it with more gusto than a wino with a bottle of meths!!).
After barely posing for the photographer the peleton summitted the Croix de fer and set about ordering lunch (and very nice it was too).
Suitably refreshed the peleton began the long descent (with the odd ascent thrown in) off the Croix de fer towards Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne. Those of you who watched the Tour stage last Thursday (Stage 11 in 2012 Tour) will be familiar with the first part of the descent. The upper slopes were quite twisty and the group split into two groups with the Candle (now fortified by coffee) appearing to have shaken off his sluggish demeanour as he rocketed down the descent with Chris and Craig hanging onto his coat tails. The rest of the group came down at a steadier pace. Eventually the road came to a right fork for the Mollard (“it’s not that way” chimed Matinee); the left fork ramped upwards (“it can’t be that way for f**ks sake, we’re supposed to be on a descent“, chimed everyone else!!!).
Gladys rode up the road and confirmed to the doubters in the 2nd group on the road that yes it was time to go uphill again. This was a quite a lot of uphill and included a couple of tunnels before the distant sound of the Candle going wheeeeeeeee suggested the descent was about to begin again.
During this part of the descent the Lantern made his way up towards the front and soon he was closing his eyes behind Chris, as Chris had several near misses with the oncoming traffic (and before the Candle gets too smug I’ve seen the footage of his descent and there was this blue car…..). Passing Craig on the way down the intrepid duo then passed a black 4X4 type car thingy which was apparently filming us descending - however people get their kicks……
All too soon the road ramped up again and the peleton regrouped at a junction before flying down into S-J-d-M. The town was a bit of a bugger to get through but soon enough the peleton had cleared it and were riding parallel to the motorway towards Saint-Michel-de-Maurienne. The peleton were rolling along quite nicely but the Candle was still, somewhat unusually, struggling to hold the pace. God only knows what thoughts he was harbouring with the Telegraphe and the Galibier to come shortly after we passed through the town.
I’m sure you all know by now that it took quite a while to pass through S-M-d-M due to Craig suffering a freak accident. I won’t go into the details as everybody’s heard about it by now. Suffice to say it was a freak accident and he probably couldn’t pick that piece of metal up again if he tried. As it was, a whip round was had to ensure he had enough euros to get to the local hospital for a check up. The Candle agreed to stay in S-M-d-M with the bikes and Gladys was dispatched to finish the ride and retrieve the car and come back for his colleagues. That may seem strange but there really was no other alternative - a taxi would be too expensive from there and no one thought Coppi would drive over the Galibier (a definite ‘NO WAY’ we all agreed).
Gladys gamely set off and was soon lost to view. His Garmin stats show he covered 109 miles in 9hrs 33 minutes of riding. What it doesn’t tell you is how impressive that was as he didn’t have a café stop and ran out of water - the image of a desperate cyclist with fantastic sideburns desperately trying to fill his bottle from a mountain stream on the Galibier will stay long in the memory - and we weren’t even there!!
The remaining four riders - Matinee, Chris, Ron and Silky decided to push on and try and finish the ride.
I think I speak for all when I say that the ride lost something with Craig’s crash. This was his ride; he pushed it for months and persuaded the rest of us to give it a go. Thankfully the Lantern received a text whist on the Galibier confirming no major injuries and both Craig and the Candle did subsequently conquer the Stelvio the weekend following this crash. As the French would say “Chapeau”.
As Matinee, Chris, Ron and the Lantern trundled out of S-M-d-M they were greeted by a sign that said Col du Telegraphe 11Km; Col du Galibier 36KM. Ron spoke for all when he said “Need to dig deep and make sure we all get back together”. Matinee said “I calculate if we climb at 5 - 6 mph we’ll be on top of the Galibier at 7pm; it was about 2:45pm when he said it. Suddenly this was serious and a few of us thought “Jeez we/I might not make this”.
And so we trundled up the scenic slopes of the Telegraphe; Matinee up front; Ron someway behind and Chris pacing the Lantern up somewhere behind him. Ron said later he found the Telegraphe harder than the Galibier but the Lantern didn’t!! Yes it was hot and yes it was steep but he and Chris trundled up it very nicely thank you. Matinee stopped for a piss and noticed a road kill Snickers bar which had no doubt slipped out of an unfortunate rider’s back pocket. He stooped creakily and pocketed himself, you never know.
The climb is actually 11.8Km long, gaining 856m in height, average gradient is 7.3% with a maximum of 9.8% just near the summit.
Thankfully there was a café on top to hide from the heat and refuel on coke (the drink for anyone “sniffing” a drug story!!) and croque monsieur. The view was fantastic (as you’ll see when someone bothers to put photos up) but the group were oddly subdued as we knew that the biggest challenge was still to come. This was serious stuff now.
After a 4.8Km descent to Valloire (which looked lovely) the group headed out of town onto the lower slopes of the Galibier. I won’t bore you with pages of how hard it was; we all know that anyway. Suffice to say from Valloire it is 18.1Km; average 6.9% and the maximum of 10.1% is again just below the summit. You’ll have seen the picture of Matinee, Chris & Ron on the top (and yes it does look like their carer is just out of shot I know) and the Lantern rolled in sometime later - it was about 6:50pm.
After the descent down to the Col du Lautaret the group stopped for coffee and crepes although the Lantern couldn’t face his crepe so he had the road kill snickers the matinee had picked up on the Telegraphe. The mood now was much jollier; we’d done it!! It was more or less down hill all the way back from there. The 34 or so kilometres left passed in a bit of a blur with the four intrepid Crapis still doing through and off at over 30mph in parts. It would have brought a tear to the Patron’s eye.
Gladys passed in the car heading to pick up Craig and the Candle and the group acknowledged the 100 mile mark when it came. The three tunnels on the descent were negotiated without incident although Ron did launch himself through the longest one like the Roadrunner on speed!!
The Lantern arrived at the turning for Venosc to find Coppi and the car; a welcome sight. “Bit of a problem mate” he said “I can’t find the keys for the bike locks; I’ll have to take one of you and come back for the rest”. When Chris arrived and we relayed this information to him he replied “Of course you won’t they are in my glasses case in my room”. “But you’ve just spoken to him and asked him to pick us up…..” the Lantern started to say and then remembered it was the Hughes brothers he was dealing with!!!!
As it turned out Chris and Ron rode back to camp; Ron confessed he’d been holding a bit back in case we were racing at the end. Compare that to his earlier “dig deep and stick together comment”.
So it was that Coppi took the wheels off the Lantern’s bike and squeezed Matinee and the Lantern in for the trip back to camp.
All in all an epic day and one which we all said we were glad to have done, just don’t ask us to do it again!!! The day was made even more epic when Gladys turned up the next day with news that we’d done over 14,100 ft of climbing on the ride!!! Looking back now the Lantern for one could probably be persuaded to give it another go…….just not for a while yet.
Friday 15 June 2012
Well what can you say about the day after an epic ride like that? Not a lot really. The day was mostly concerned with getting ready for departure the next day and checking on Craig’s condition. However, everyone agreed to have a meal at the site restaurant that night.
Ron, in true Ron style, got lost on his way to the restaurant that he had walked past everyday that week!!! Candle and the Matinee ordered snails, much to the Hughes brothers disgust. Craig’s assertion that you could eat garden snails but needed to feed them on carrots until their poo was orange didn’t help either.
Coppi was recounting his ride on the Balcony road to Matinee, the Candle and the Lantern. “He could have been carried off by an eagle and no one would know what’d happened” we ventured. “With his bike still attached via his cleats”. “Imagine the headline; Welsh cyclist disappears - no clues!!!”. “The eagle would crack his beak when he tried to eat the bike and Coppi’s screws though”. “He’d have a lisp then wouldn’t he?”. “His feathered descendants would do the same, and eventually someone would get funding to study the mysterious lisping eagles of the alpes”. “They’d find the bike in the eyrie, with pristine white tyres still pumped up” “Headline: Mysterious disappearance of Welsh cyclist solved!!!”. Well, we were in a good mood.
The meal was the perfect end to a great holiday; swapping stories around the big table. Gladys rounded off the meal with some rum and raisin ice cream - “contains alcohol” said the menu. When it arrived it was basically vanilla ice cream with raisins thrown on top and enough rum poured over the mixture to make Galdys’ eyes water.
Goodbyes were said as Craig’s car was heading to Italy and the Stelvio whilst the other two were travelling home to Wales.
Saturday 16 June 2012
The day passed off relatively without incident though one exchange is worthy of note. The Lantern asked Coppi if he was planning on driving that day. “No” replied Coppi; Chris chipped in with “He’s got an important job; he’s our navigator”. When the Lantern got back to his car he relayed this to Matinee. “You know what that entails” the Lantern asked. “What?” asked Matinee. “They follow us out of the camp, Coppi extends his arm and says “follow that car” before promptly falling asleep for four hours, safe in the knowledge he’d done his job”.
The cars split when we entered North Wales and the Lantern took Matinee home to his wife whilst the brothers Hughes returned to Rhostyllen.
To sum up it was a fantastic trip; had Craig not had the misfortune to crash I think it would have been perfect. Star of the show - Coppi for me without a doubt. To do what he did after the accident he had was truly amazing - chapeau to you sir. To everyone else thanks for making it a very special trip and I say “chapeau” to you all.
Until the next time………..
