Magic!

Our last trip to the Alps was fantastical, Ronnie's riding was occasionally tactical, Up hills and through forests, I took Ian up the Auris, He said it was f*cking quite magical

30th of November 2013 - Happy Birthday Chris!

Reporting for duty - Tudor, Brownie, Robbo, Chrissy, Ronnie, Patron, Beast. I know you wouldn't guess his age from his chiseled features and cheeky glint in his eye but Campag riding lover of pink tea cups founding Crapi granddad and all round good guy Chris....is 50 years old today! My God we're all getting old, sigh! To mark the occasion we got him a gleaming new white Mavic helmet, which should nicely compliment the inevitably increasing volume of white bristles on his chin....and up his nose....and in his ears..... The ride to Maesbury cafe was therefore a leisurely affair and it was good to meet up with Alan D, David B and the rest of the Oswestry Easy Riders, to reminisce on past rides and to plan those still to come. I've posted a photo of the fantastic birthday cake that Chris' family got for him and there's a pint of Hyde's bitter to the first person to correctly identify all 5 riders. Answers on a postcard please.

Prees - The Long Way 23/11/13

Would you believe me if I said it was 60 plus miles from Wrexham to Prees and back? Sounds unlikely doesn't it, but expect the unexpected when Big Al's (AKA Le Patron's) creative route planning juices start flowing. Although cold by recent standards we had a pretty good turn out including Brownie, Lantern, Patron, Robbo, Beast, Craig, Ronnie, Coppi and Chrissy, the latter of whom will celebrate 50 years on two legs and approximately 48 years on two wheels next weekend! To be totally honest I haven't got a clue which way we went after Hordley as I was too busy chatting to Brownie to take any notice, but I definitely recall a stretch of the Ellesmere - Shrewsbury road, a long stretch from Myddle to Wem, and a seemingly interminable stretch with me on the front from Wem to Prees. By the time we reached the warm fug of the Raven truck stop, me and the Beast were suffering from early onset mild hypothermia and most of the lads plumped for the full breakfast, eschewing the usual 'athletic' menu choice of beans on toast. The return leg was thankfully more direct, and the predicted attacks did not materialise on the road from Worthenbury to Bangor. We split into two groups at Bangor, as the main bunch made their way back to 'the village' past The Plassey, while a breakaway trio meandered past the Dee and up to Overton past Bangor racecourse. Beast and Craig peeled off for St Martins leaving me to soft tap the last 4 miles or so back to Ellesmere. About a mile after the trotting mare I encountered a damsel in distress, or more accurately, a woman on a bike that had clearly seen better days (the bike, not the woman)'parked up' on the grass verge on one of the drags. The carrier bags dangling from her handlebars had not helped with wind resistance and she'd admitted defeat on the incline. After a quick chat to check she was OK, it transpired she was cycling to the craft fair in Ellesmere. I mused there would possibly be several more carrier bags joining them on the return leg, but on the plus side, it would be downhill on the way back. After a few moments it became apparent that her formerly 3 gear steed had somehow mutated into a fixie, and she was clearly struggling on the drags. After slurping my energy drink and pocketing my last nutrigrain she somehow found her second wind and sat on my wheel all the way into town before heading off to do her shopping. All in all this was a great day out in fine Autumn weather, and I really hope she found what she was looking for at the craft fair!

Old Horseshoe Pass, The Shelf, Bwlch Penbarras and Horseshoe pass.....again

Yes, yes I know this hasn't been updated this for ages but I promise we HAVE been out every week, Robbo, Craig and Jude even managed to sneak in trips to Mont Ventoux since the last write up!!! Anyway, today's Autumnal outing was made up of Rocket, Ronnie, Robbo, Vino, Craig and Chrissy. Le Patron decided to sit this one out as he's still recovering from a rare strain of village malaise, which left route planning duties in the capable but sadistic hands of Robbo and Chrissy. The map shows the full route and the gradients on parts of the old horseshoe and Bwlch Penbarras were rideable but just plain silly. A 15.5 average was the best we could manage on this sort of terrain, but it was bloody good fun all the same.

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10th of August 2013 - Milltir Cerrig and Aberhirnant loop

This week's route planning responsibility fell to Robbo, and anxious not to disappoint he delved deep into the crapiwheelers archive of 'character building' rides, and came up with this little beauty. Also reporting for duty were Hughesy, Tudor, Ronnie, Mike The Candle Davies, Lantern and newbie James. James had been out with us once before and it was obvious he had va va voom in abundance, which is of course to be expected when you're approximately half the age of the rest of the crapi peloton. This was however to be his longest ride to date. Always keen to encourage a fellow rider, resident sports psychologist and motivational speaker Ronnie faithfully promised James he's been sitting at home with a brew by 2 o'clock at the latest..... After the foothills of Treflach, the first proper challenge was the 4 mile climb of the Milltir Cerrig, which never seems easy whether you tackle it early or late in the day. Following an eye watering descent into Bala (Mike still denies he over-cooked the sharp left hander) beans on toast and Welsh cakes were the order of the day at the Bala cafe stop. At the cafe Mike announced he would be heading back via a more direct route, as he was to be the guest of honour / entertainment at a 'charity spin class' in Mold at 4pm. Ronnie decided to follow suit and James made similar overtures on the basis that his legs were cooked. 5 minutes later, the rest of the Crapis managed to talk James into coming back 'the hard way' through Aberhirnant, so two headed off towards Corwen and five huffed and puffed their way up the Hirnant, past lake Vyrnwy and home via Llanfyllin, Llansantffraid and Blodwell Bank. Total distance for the round trip from Ellesmere was just over 96 miles and a 15.9 mph average, whilst the Wrexham lads just nudged the ton. James eventually arrived home for his brew with the rest of his crapi companions around 5pm!

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Wolf in sheep's clothing - Welshpool 03/08/13

Le Patron decided we'd have a flattish one to Welshpool today, so we went out the usual way to Blodwell bank via Trefonen, through Llansantffraid before a 'left turn Clyde' up the short but steep drag towards Welshpool. We arrived at the Inglenook cafe in 3 separate groups which resulted in Patron and Lantern getting last dibs on the available tables. On the plus side, they did make a new friend who used to be in the film business and are auditioning next week. The pace back through Leighton and Buttington was brisk, but it went up another few notches on Criggion Lane thanks to big turns by Beast and Tudor, before a breakaway consisting of Tudor, Robbo, Ronnie and Candle went up the road. The rest is a blur, but my cramping legs this afternoon are evidence that the return via the Tour of Flanders was far from easy. Another good turnout today - Patron, Ronnie, Waudy, Robbo, Beast, Craig, Candle, Tudor and of course Lantern. The route maps also confirms it wasn't exactly flat, with nearly 2000 ft of ascent, ave 17.5mph. Craig was testing a Van Nicholas titanium bike with electric shifters today, I think a few of us could have done with electric motors!

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Heatstroke and heartbreak - 13/07/13 - Hottest day of the year so far!

Still trying to cool down after yesterday's effort, so haven't done a write up yet. If Vino or Lantern feel the urge to do one in the meantime I won't complain! Suckers for punishment yesterday were Patron, Hughesy, Tudor, Robbo, Beast, Lantern, Brownie, Ronnie, Craig and Vino and I can't remember the last time there were such massive time gaps and so many broken bodies at the end of a ride.....

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Brenig ball-breaker - 06/07/13

Le Patron mustered the Crapi peloton for 9am morning prayers, before what he promised would be a ‘brute’. Faithful disciples included Robbo, Vino, Gaz, Hughesy, Ronnie, Rocket, Craig and new recruit Ian Higgins. The weather was set fair, and we all set off up the drag to Bwlchgwyn without a care in the world! The pace (and route) to Ruthin wasn’t bad, but the work rate steadily increased from Denbigh as we toiled up and down the interminable drags to Henllan and Llansannan. After a quick shop stop at Llansannan, le Patron decreed we should turn left to ascend the climb to Llyn Aled, and recounted his conversation 5 minutes earlier in the village shop..... “So you’re going up to Llyn Aled are you”, enquired the shop occupants, smirking as they secretly thought “a fat bastard like you won’t make it up there!”. And they were right, for no sooner did we start the climb when we discovered that the fine folk at Conwy County Council had rendered the climb completely un-rideable as a result of their cutting-edge road resurfacing techniques. We did attempt the climb but had to abandon at the top as the gravel was just too deep to ride through. Rather than walk all the way down again, Vino put his CX skills to good use and hopped over the fence with his bike to descend the farmer’s field. All soon followed suit as we made our way across two steep fields, dodging cowpats as we went (see photo). I imagine the scene the previous week had played out something like this..... Dewi is a newly qualified, eager to please civil engineer, and on his first field assignment he is paired up with Dai and his highly experienced Conwy Council road resurfacing crew, the envy of councils throughout the land. Their task for the next fortnight was to resurface Ffordd Gogor, a little used route to Llyn Aled, which probably needed resurfacing about as much as the Lantern needed an afro comb. “Right Dai, where’s the tarmac?”, enquired Dewi, keen to get started. “Over there” said Dai, casually gesturing with thumb, forefinger and fag end to a barrel marginally bigger than le Patron’s tea mug, warming up over a disposable barbecue. “F*ck me Dai, what are we supposed to do with that miniscule amount of tarmac?" exclaimed Dewi, who by now was beginning to have some doubts about his chosen vocation with Conwy CC and his mentor for the day. “Well lad, you run up to the top of that hill, and when you get there, you’re going to tip that weak cocktail of tar and rat’s piss down the hill see. Then me and the boys’ll come behind you and drop 50 megaton of slithery, bike-crippling death-trap gravel on top of it like”. “What happens then Dai, are we going to steam roller it to get it nice and compacted?” “Nah, we’ll just leave the gravel about a foot deep and the cars and bikes and tractors will work it in for us see, all being well it should be good enough to use as a road again in about 12 month’s time” “But Dai, isn’t it dangerous to just leave a shit load of loose gravel on the road like that, what if someone skids on the 20% slope?”. “F*ck em”, replied Dai with a faraway look in his eye, as he contemplated the thought of finishing another resurfacing job 13 days ahead of schedule.... The next road we came upon was an undiscovered 25% brute, and by the time we got to the Brenig visitor centre at the 50 mile mark we were ready for a rest. On the return leg, Patron, Rocket, Hughesy and Ron opted for the A5, whilst Robbo, Craig, Gaz and Vino took the rollercoaster road to Pentrellyncymer and Ruthin, before the final drags of the Nant y Garth pass and Llandegla. 82 miles and over 2100 metres of climbing, the difficulty of the day is reflected in the average speed of 14.5 mph.

Midsummer murder - 29/06/13

A slightly depleted but nonetheless fortified peloton consisting of Craig, Robbo, Ronnie, Iron Man Chad, Tudor the Russian, Hughesy, Young Gaz and Patron were looking forward to whatever route Le Patron had conjured for us this week. Individual distances and speeds varied depending on start/finish points, I made it 77.7 miles and 17.3 average.

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23/06/13 OTB - 1.10pm

The title of this OFB will become clear at the end of the report. On a damp and drizzly morning Le Patron (Al), Rocket (Mark), Chris, Ronnie (after a short delay to go and get his winter bike due to free hub shenanigans), Tudor, Tudor’s mate James and the Lantern (Ian - brother The Candle resting following an impressive 70 mile trek the previous day) gathered outside Al’s for a trip to Maesbury picking up Matinee (Paul) and Craig on the way. But where was Vino? Unbelievably following his ripping of Copout Coppi the previous weekend Vino had cried off due to the drizzle. He was immediately rechristened “No-show” Jones! When contacted for a comment the aforementioned Copout said “Don’t mention decorating having to do each wall three times” - no I didn’t understand either! The peleton stayed together to Oswestry and then splintered on the climb towards Treflach with an unusually subdued Patron and the Lantern sliding off the back. Debutant James easily keeping pace with the main peleton on the first climb of the day. Thankfully the main bunch waited at the foot of Blodwell as Patron had remembered the bridge on the way to Llanymynech was closed so the group headed down to the X-roads at Lyncwys. At this point Craig, following his 70 mile jaunt the previous day with the Candle opted to go straight to the café. The main group then headed down the main road towards Llanymynech. Again Patron made his own pace with Lantern along for the ride. At the front Ronnie put the hammer down on the incline up through Pant. Pausing to look round and assess things he was surprised to see James sat on his wheel looking fresh as a daisy. Ron redoubled his efforts before James and Matinee took turns on the front. Tudor then blew the bunch apart by taking the pace up to an impressive thirty mph (which is faster than any car he’s sold ever managed!!!). After a refuel and a chance to dry out (slightly) at Maesbury the group headed back towards Gobowen. Tudor again flexing his muscles with a long pull on the notoriously draggy road from Whittington to Gobowen before James and Ron also dragged the bunch along. No fractures this time and the group barrelled down to Western Rhyn where Craig and Matinee peeled off and the rest of the bunch headed round the back of Chirk. The short pull up to the castle was enough for Tudor to put daylight between himself and Chris and the Rocket with the Lantern (yes I was surprised as well!) close behind. Tudor managed to hold his gap all the way home despite Chris and Mark’s best efforts with the Lantern trailing in next followed by Ron and Patron rounding things off shortly after (James having gone straight home presumably unaware of the lure of Al‘s café at the end of each ride). It was agreed by all that James’ debut had been suitably impressive and only mileage had done for him in the end and everyone said they were knackered. As always another great if slightly damp day out with the boys so a big thank you to everyone for making each ride such great fun!! The title? Well at 1.10pm Ron arrived back at Patron’s and said “ I could see the Lantern ahead of me but I couldn’t catch him”. Now I know he was on his winter bike but it still counts - that’s going on my headstone that is!!!!! Probably missing for a couple of weeks now boys as off to get some sun in Spain hopefully so go easy when I get back (fat chance!!).

Long Mountain, Deux Maillot Jaune and mistaken identity.

Brian, Craig and Robbo arranged to meet the rest of the bunch at Overton, and a motley crew of Gareth, Ronnie, Hughesy, Cabbage, Patron, Coppi, Lantern and Rocket crested the hill out of Erbistock one by one. A quick glance around confirmed all riders to be replete in matching CRAPI team kit, apart from two notable exceptions – Lantern and Coppi, who for reasons best known to themselves, were bedecked in matching yellow jerseys, souvenirs of last year’s Alpine jaunt. The similarity between the two of them was uncanny, even Coppi’s brothers couldn’t tell them apart, as the peloton rolled on to Ellesmere, eagerly debating which of the ‘yellow jerseys’ would be the protected rider for the day. A right turn in Ellesmere signalled the start of the ‘Tour of Flanders’ section of the ride, and shortly afterwards, an ally of Robbo’s pedalled alongside and whispered that Ronnie would be out to get him today, following the previous week’s misadventure. Robbo made a mental note to look for the tell-tale signs of Ronnie’s cunning plan as the route wound its way along to Baschurch, Melverley and Princes Oak before the main drag of the day, the Long Mountain road to Welshpool. Legs and lungs were tested as Gareth led the way up the climb, pursued at a slightly less frenetic pace by Craig, Rocket, Cabbage, Robbo and Brian, whilst the rest of the bunch opted for a sedate ascent. Notable by his absence at this juncture was Ronnie, who when last sighted was glass cranking down the road with the rear bunch – a sure sign of energy conservation for battles still to come. The stop at the Inglenook cafe came at the 50+ mile mark and each finely honed athlete opted for the full cooked breakfast, with the exception of Craig, who chose a very healthy chicken salad sandwich, and a plate of chips roughly twice the size of Rhostyllen colliery bank. Breakfasts were heartily dispatched, apart from Coppi’s, who had the look of a man forcing down his last supper before a dawn appointment with the gallows. Surely the return leg of the ride wasn’t going to be that hard, was it? Shortly after passing the Guilsfield turning, we split into two, as Ronnie, Robbo, Gareth, Brian, Cabbage, Craig and Mark pushed on, leaving Patron and Hughesy to protect a yellow jersey each. The pace to Oswestry was brisk but comfortable, halted only by the need for an impromptu group ‘natural break’ shortly before Blodwell bank. A straw poll was taken to determine the plan of action should the group split on Blodwell bank, but in the event we re-grouped at the top for the run into Oswestry. Riders yo-yo’d on and off the front and back of the group through Treflach as legs were tested to see what was left in the tank. On the final drag up to Os, Robbo found himself off the front of the group and a quick look over his shoulder confirmed the only rider on his wheel was Gareth. Gareth eventually came round and pulled away over the crest of the drag, whilst Robbo waited for the rest of the bunch to catch up, fairly safe in the knowledge that Gareth would wait in Oswestry. A minute or two later, the rest of the bunch rode up to Robbo’s wheel and he was dumb-struck to see that one of them was........GARETH! Robbo’s heart sunk as he realised the rider that had just ridden off into the sunset ahead of him was actually Ronnie!!! He silently cursed the matching club kit which had led to the confusion, but felt a painful glimmer of admiration for the crafty smiling assassin, who’d managed to do him over as promised. Brian, Craig and Robbo peeled off in their various directions home leaving Mark, Gareth and Cabbage to be the first home to Rhostyllen, followed not long after by the two yellow jerseys (more like yellow cardigans at this stage) and their faithful domestiques. Individual mileages varied between 80 odd and 96 miles for the day, my computer recorded 84 miles and a 16mph ave.

Dolgellau - Aberdyfi - Machynlleth - Bwlch Oerddrws - Dolgellau

Dolgellau was today's starting point, as Mark, Le Patron, Hughesy, Ronnie, Coppi (yes you read it right, I said Coppi) Lantern, Candle, Craig, Tudor and Robbo mounted their machines in anticipation of a great day ahead. Shortly beforehand Le Patron had enquired whether anyone had any bog paper, but on reflection he chose to decline the chance of an early morning al fresco latrine visit, opting instead for the "slow cooker". Needless to say the peloton gave Le Patron a wide berth as we trundled off in the general direction of Fairbourne, Tywyn and Aberdyfi. It felt good to be alive. The cool morning air tingled with the heady cocktail of Spring flowers, sea-salt, the Lantern's factor 500, Coppi's hair-oil and Le Patron's occasional leakages. The ride to the cafe at Aberdyfi was pretty steady and very enjoyable, and no-one was in too much of a rush to bypass the beautiful Cambrian coastline, as riders looked expectantly out to sea, hoping to catch sight of some porpoise. Except for Coppi that is, who seemed to have the boundless energy of a Springer Spaniel. Could he keep this pace up all day? Following a pleasant repast at the Aberdyfi cafe, the pace again continued at a leisurely rate until eventually picking up on the last few miles into Machynlleth. A quick look over the shoulder confirmed that Coppi had not managed to maintain his earlier work rate, also absent at this juncture was the Lantern, who would share the rest of the ride with brother Coppi. Hughesy (straight off a night shift, how does he do it?) opted to drop back to shepherd the two rear-gunners, whilst the rest of the group ploughed along the seemingly interminable road to Dinas Mawddwy. In Harry Potter it was the sorting hat, which shrewdly decided which house the new arrivals at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry would be allocated to, and so shape their destiny. The merry band of Crapiwheelers underwent a similar selection process today, as the 20% gradient warning sign of Bwlch Oerddrws hoved into view shortly after leaving Dinas. By this point, Ronnie, Tudor, Craig and Robbo were digging in for the challenge ahead - who would crack first? The more appropriate question should have been - who would attack first, and that was swiftly answered, as Tudor set off on a suicidal boys own adventure, closely followed by Ronnie and Craig. Robbo however chose to keep his powder dry, confident that a "slowly slowly catchy monkey" approach would reel in the escapees as they inevitably blew out of their arses, or so he hoped. The first to succumb to said tactics was Craig, as the 20% slope bit off his legs and spat them unceremoniously over the edge. After a couple more minutes Tudor realised he'd underestimated the gradient and length of the slope as lactic acid took its toll on his not inconsiderable leg muscles. Robbo contemplated passing on some words of advice to the over exuberant climber as he edged past him, but barely had the breath to get the words out. With the smell of possible victory flaring in his nostrils, Ronnie put in a hard dig and pulled strongly away from Robbo on the summit hairpin band. By the time Robbo had crested the Bwlch and got his breath back, Ronnie was a 50mph white blur, plummeting towards Dolgellau like a man possessed. Was there a Guinness sale on in town that I didn't know about? A game of cat and mouse then ensued, with the mouse always out of sight for the next few miles. Robbo's attempts at closing the gap were thwarted by a caravan which insisted doing 30mph all the way down the hill past the little chef. Fortune favours the brave, and sometimes the crafty bugger too, and Robbo realised his tactics had paid off as he eventually caught sight of lightweight Ronnie struggling against a headwind with about 2 miles to go. The chase was on. Ronnie glanced back and dug deeper. Robbo conjured dark thoughts about the solo breakaway rider who seemed to be holding him off. Eventually, bodyweight and sheer bloody mindedness brought Robbo up on the shoulder of the escapee, and both shook hands and called a truce, just 300 yards from the car park. The remaining riders rolled in over the next few minutes, and all agreed it had been a grand day out. Hey Al, "I've found that bog roll, do you still want it?" enquired Robbo. "Nah, it'll wait" replied Al, wincing as he squeezed out his final backside broadside of the day before climbing into his car. 58 miles 17mph ave

Vyrnwy leg breaker 25/05/13

As he's still getting over a cold, le patron jettisoned his original plans to do the Elan valley, opting instead for what he promised would be an easier ride to Vyrnwy and back. Patron, Robbo, Lantern, Candle, Ronnie, Hughesy, Tudor, Craig, Vino and Beast met at the usual muster point, and early form soon came to the fore as Tudor, Craig, Beast, Ronnie and Robbo attempted to stay with Vino up the drags - big mistake! Mental note to self - a 200+ pound bloke cannot stay with a 150 pound bloke on the steep ones! The peloton rocked up to Vyrnwy cafe in dribs and draps, and after appropriate refuelling we set off on the homeward leg, with le patron promising a nasty climb. Great, can't wait. We could have merrily rolled along the Tanat valley but that would be boring, wouldn't it. Instead, a short detour to Llanrhaeadr deposited us at the foot of stinging, sinuous, frost addled excuse for a road which is surely only used by 4x4 tractors 99% of the year. The gradient and the miles took their toll as hitherto unbreakable crapis cracked under the pressure, and admitted they were tired. Nevertheless, 3 splinter groups pressed on as hard as they could, and Chirk couldn't come quick enough as riders endured Wrexham County Borough Council's version of the Paris-Roubaix, otherwise known as the appalling bone shaking tarmac of the Ceiriog valley. Quite a tough 'un today!

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Brrrr - Chilly Run to Beeston

A lower than usual turnout this week, with only Patron, Chrissie, Robbo, Vino, Rocket and Ronnie.

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Welshpool leg stretcher 9th March 2013

Cast - Patron, Robbo, Tudor, Lantern, Chrissie, Brownie, Vino, Baby Brio, Candle. This week's damp and miserable weather didn't do much to deter the Crapi's enthusiasm for the mud spattered back roads of N Wales and N Shropshire. It was also one of those days when you just didn't know what to wear. Not in the Arran sweater vs Tanktop sense (you know what I mean Lantern), but in the 'what exactly do I need to be warm but not too warm' sense. Tudor's unique answer to this conundrum was of course 'summer shorts'. By 'eck they breed them tough in Rhostyllen, I was cold just looking at him!

Sunny outing to Beeston - 2nd of March 2013

The best day's weather of the Winter (or is it officially Spring now?) resulted in the highest Crapi turn out so far, even surpassing last year's Wild Wales! I have to admit that the ever increasing popularity of the Crapi peloton is testing my memory, but if it serves me correctly, reporting for duty were Patron (I've been bad all week), Chrissy and Ronnie (both full of cold), Rocket (full of EPO), Lantern (full of sh*t), Cabbage (gotta get back for the football), Vino, Robbo, Baby Brio, Craig, Candle, Waudy (pink's the new black apparently), Coppi, Chad and Brownie. Hopefully I haven't missed anyone. Despite staying together for the first 15 miles or so, we eventually broke into 2 groups as we hooked up with half a dozen other riders shortly before Malpas. Group 1 then made fairly brisk progress through Bickerton, Peckforton and on to Beeston, and were just starting their full English brekkies when group 2 rounded the corner into the Car Park. A similar scenario was re-enacted on the return leg. Rocket made his trademark attack from behind (sneaky bugger) on the rise just before Bangor on Dee, to which Vino and Robbo responded with gusto. The sudden rush of blood to the heads had however clearly clouded our judgement, as everyone then careered around the bad blind bend into Bangor on the wrong side of the road. If there'd have been a Massey Ferguson coming the other way, the Crapi peloton would have been permanently halved! Fortunately everyone managed to stay upright apart from Waudy, whose combined velocity, trajectory and low centre of gravity served to deposit him in a hawthorn hedge on the opposite side of the road. Fortunately no real harm was sustained by Waudy or his shiny new Kuota. Great ride boys, see you next week!

First group ride of 2013!!!!!!

What a fantastic turnout for a long winter ride straight after Christmas!! Robbo and Baby arrived at the Whitehurst rendezvous point, to be shortly joined by Cabbage, Patron, Chrissy, Mark, Brownie, Vino, Candle, Craig and Ronnie. Designated target for the day was Bala, and the Crapi convoy rolled along the A5 at a brisk but leisurely pace. We then battled into a headwind at Corwen, having lost the shelter of the Dee valley, which signalled the gradual dimming of the Candle's hitherto impressive wick. The inevitable splintering of the pack occurred on the long straight after the Rug cafe, as Le Patron gallantly dropped back to shepherd the ailing Candle. The lead group trundled along at a respectable pace to Bethel, when Craig decided to have a go at time trialling off the front of the pack to Bala. "I'm having some of that" (or words to that effect) exclaimed Mark, and shot after Craig as if Chris had slipped a leftover New Years firework up his jacksie. He proceeded to immediately ride straight over the top of Craig, and that was the last we saw of him until Bala, where we found the strange combination of a trembling man who had clearly gone too deep, but strangely still had more gas left in the tank! He later admitted his whole body was pulsing as he climbed off his orange steed to wait for us. The return leg was carnage. Yes we took it steady and stayed together to the top of the drag at Bethel, but then it was every man for himself as the speed rose from 27 - 35mph, and that was on the flat! Between Corwen and Llan a breakaway group consisting of Robbo, Chrissy, Ronnie, Mark and Baby got their heads down and headed for home. To be fair Le Patron was also in the group, but as usual, gallantry got the better of him and he dropped back to check on the rest of the bunch. Weaknesses began to show on Butterfly hill but some sort of invisible Crapi glue kept it all together. Meanwhile further back down the road, Cabbage was rear-ended by a 'distracted' motorist and inadvertently pulled a wheelie which then brought Brownie crashing down too! Thankfully both riders and their machines were relatively unscathed but it could have been so much worse. I mean, how difficult could it have been for the driver not to have seen Cabbage and Brownie on the road in front - they were wearing bright red and blue tops for Pete's sake! Herein lies a lesson to drivers -do keep your eyes on the road and not on your phone, stereo, fags or whatever else you're fannying about with when you're supposed to be concentrating!

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