Today saw the traditional pre-Christmas run to Powys castle, with Robbo, Patron, Chrissy, Mark and Tudor reporting for duty. Very tasty lunch and an even tastier pace on the way back.....
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Sunday 16 December 2012
Tuesday 13 November 2012
Thursday 1 November 2012
Crapiwheelers Kit
Just a reminder that orders for the new kit are now being taken. Le Patron has a full set of test kit at his house for you try your size before ordering. If anyone who wants kit hasn't ordered already, please do so ASAP.
Sunday 23 September 2012
Thursday 13 September 2012
Mont Ventoux - part deux
After my first encounter with 'The Giant of Provence' last week, I was naturally keen to return to have a go from Bedoin, which is widely acknowledged to be the most difficult ascent.
The climb started off fairly easily as I cycled past the bike shop that records your official time, at a fairly leisurely 3 or 4%. After a few km however, a sharp left hand hairpin at Les Bruns signalled the start of a long and arduous section that wound its way through a forest, with virtually no hairpin bends or switchbacks on which to recover.
The signposts dotted at every km told me that this section went on for approximately 8 or 9km at an average gradient of 9%+. Alone with nothing but the sound of my own breathing for company, I settled into a rhythm that I could sustain and pedalled steadily up the seemingly interminable road ahead. Fortunately, I must have been having a good day. The km markers slipped by more quickly than I expected as I occasionally knocked it down a couple of gears to stretch my back, before settling back into the 34x28.
Before long, the forest abated and the familiar sight of Chalet Reynard popped into view but I opted to keep on pedalling as I'd now decided this was to be a non-stop attempt. Miraculously, I seemed to get a fleeting second wind after Chalet Reynard, and managed to knock it down a couple of cogs as the gradient eased to 7% for a while. After a couple of km however, Le Mistral brought me down to earth as it pelted me full in the face, and stayed that way for the last 3 of 4 km, hiding the summit behind a grey veil of cloud and rain. The top therefore came as a surprise and I only hung around long enough to exchange e-mail addresses with a Belgian who would be visiting Wales soon (I told him to be sure he does the Bwlch Y Groes from Dinas Mawddwy). The descent passed in a heartbeat, the loud flapping of my jacket and whoops of joy drowning out the puffs and pants of the hundreds of other climbers still making their way up the Giant.
So now the question, which side is hardest? I personally didn't find this more difficult than the ascent from Maulacene. On paper they should be similar climbs as both are around 21-22km in length and both average around 7.5%. Today however was a little cooler and I was also fresher, having driven the 25 or so miles from Cairanne to Bedoin. There were also few other climbers on the road as I set off from Bedoin at 9am, so I wasn't inadvertently drawn into any little contests which would waste precious energy. Unlike on the Maulecene climb however, no-one passed me on my ascent from Bedoin and I did have two little stops on the Maulacene ascent. I can't honestly say that one side is more difficult than the other, they're just different. I've been with the Crapiwheelers long enough to know that some days you have 'it' and some days you don't. Today it seems that I might have just had 'it'.
Find more Bike Ride in BÉDoin, France
The climb started off fairly easily as I cycled past the bike shop that records your official time, at a fairly leisurely 3 or 4%. After a few km however, a sharp left hand hairpin at Les Bruns signalled the start of a long and arduous section that wound its way through a forest, with virtually no hairpin bends or switchbacks on which to recover.
The signposts dotted at every km told me that this section went on for approximately 8 or 9km at an average gradient of 9%+. Alone with nothing but the sound of my own breathing for company, I settled into a rhythm that I could sustain and pedalled steadily up the seemingly interminable road ahead. Fortunately, I must have been having a good day. The km markers slipped by more quickly than I expected as I occasionally knocked it down a couple of gears to stretch my back, before settling back into the 34x28.
Before long, the forest abated and the familiar sight of Chalet Reynard popped into view but I opted to keep on pedalling as I'd now decided this was to be a non-stop attempt. Miraculously, I seemed to get a fleeting second wind after Chalet Reynard, and managed to knock it down a couple of cogs as the gradient eased to 7% for a while. After a couple of km however, Le Mistral brought me down to earth as it pelted me full in the face, and stayed that way for the last 3 of 4 km, hiding the summit behind a grey veil of cloud and rain. The top therefore came as a surprise and I only hung around long enough to exchange e-mail addresses with a Belgian who would be visiting Wales soon (I told him to be sure he does the Bwlch Y Groes from Dinas Mawddwy). The descent passed in a heartbeat, the loud flapping of my jacket and whoops of joy drowning out the puffs and pants of the hundreds of other climbers still making their way up the Giant.
So now the question, which side is hardest? I personally didn't find this more difficult than the ascent from Maulacene. On paper they should be similar climbs as both are around 21-22km in length and both average around 7.5%. Today however was a little cooler and I was also fresher, having driven the 25 or so miles from Cairanne to Bedoin. There were also few other climbers on the road as I set off from Bedoin at 9am, so I wasn't inadvertently drawn into any little contests which would waste precious energy. Unlike on the Maulecene climb however, no-one passed me on my ascent from Bedoin and I did have two little stops on the Maulacene ascent. I can't honestly say that one side is more difficult than the other, they're just different. I've been with the Crapiwheelers long enough to know that some days you have 'it' and some days you don't. Today it seems that I might have just had 'it'.
Find more Bike Ride in BÉDoin, France
Friday 7 September 2012
Ventoux and Vineyard tour 07/09/12
The morning dawned warm and hazy across the vineyards of Cairanne with the promise of 30+ degrees later in the day. Fully loaded with a dubious looking assortment of powder in little bags and a couple of the obligatory 'Grany' bars, I set off, with not an insignificant amount of trepidation!
Le Mistral had been blowing on and off for the past few days, and today was no exception as I struggled to maintain 15mph on the fairly flat approach roads through the villages of Rasteau, Roaix and Vaison La Romaine. I very nearly pulled over to do that thing when you spin your back wheel to make sure your brake's not rubbing!
On the approach to Malucene the quantity of cyclists steadily increased, as did the general gradient and the menacing mass of the 'Giant of Provence' which began to dominate the skyline above. My intention had been to head to Bedoin and climb from there. However, in Malaucene I saw a sign to 'Le Mont Ventoux' and 'Bedoin' so I merrily joined the hundreds of others and started to steadily pump my way up the gradient, trying to find a rhythm I could sustain for the next 23k or so. It eventually occurred to me that the signpost to 'Bedoin' was actually the way you would go to Bedoin if you wanted to get there by going over the bloody mountain first! WTF!!!! By now I was committed, having already ridden about 7k of the climb so I decided to settle in and explore this previously unknown aspect of Ventoux, a bit like orbiting the dark side of the moon, I mused.
Now I'm reliably informed by everyone who has done it that the climb from Bedoin is harder, however the number and frequency of 12%, 11.5% and 10%+ markers all along the middle section of the climb did little to convince me of this! Would I actually make it? I thought. As I ticked off the upper km markers however, renewed confidence (or something, thanks Pharmacist Coppi) gave my tired legs a much needed boost, and before I could say 'no way', the summit observatory appeared startlingly close right above me. I stopped for a quick pit stop to gird my loins for the final push and got chatting to a nice Dutch bloke who told me that he and 700 other Dutch and Belgians cyclists were riding Ventoux that day to raise money for cancer research - Chapeau!! And there was me thinking it was always this busy!
The summit was soon won and after a couple of pics I settled in for 'Omlette et frites avec Coca et grand cafe au lait sil vous plait' before starting my descent to Bedoin. After a couple of miles I stopped for a moment to pay the respects of the Crapiwheelers to Tom Simpson and then soon found myself amongst pine trees where I encountered the first punc**** of the day, bugger! Bedoin came and went in a blink of the eye as I made my way over the Col De La Madelaine (no not THAT one) back to Malaucene. This col is only about 470 metres but with Ventoux in my legs it felt like a bloody 1st cat, and the views back over Ventoux from the little col were stunning.
The journey back to Cairanne was thankfully a much quicker affair, rolling along quite nicely between 22 and 28mph on the flat with Le Mistral at my side. All in all this was a pretty big day out for a solo ride, my only regret is that I didn't have the rest of the Crapis along with me to share the experience (and the work).
Find more Bike Ride in Saint-LÉGer-Du-Ventoux, France
Le Mistral had been blowing on and off for the past few days, and today was no exception as I struggled to maintain 15mph on the fairly flat approach roads through the villages of Rasteau, Roaix and Vaison La Romaine. I very nearly pulled over to do that thing when you spin your back wheel to make sure your brake's not rubbing!
On the approach to Malucene the quantity of cyclists steadily increased, as did the general gradient and the menacing mass of the 'Giant of Provence' which began to dominate the skyline above. My intention had been to head to Bedoin and climb from there. However, in Malaucene I saw a sign to 'Le Mont Ventoux' and 'Bedoin' so I merrily joined the hundreds of others and started to steadily pump my way up the gradient, trying to find a rhythm I could sustain for the next 23k or so. It eventually occurred to me that the signpost to 'Bedoin' was actually the way you would go to Bedoin if you wanted to get there by going over the bloody mountain first! WTF!!!! By now I was committed, having already ridden about 7k of the climb so I decided to settle in and explore this previously unknown aspect of Ventoux, a bit like orbiting the dark side of the moon, I mused.
Now I'm reliably informed by everyone who has done it that the climb from Bedoin is harder, however the number and frequency of 12%, 11.5% and 10%+ markers all along the middle section of the climb did little to convince me of this! Would I actually make it? I thought. As I ticked off the upper km markers however, renewed confidence (or something, thanks Pharmacist Coppi) gave my tired legs a much needed boost, and before I could say 'no way', the summit observatory appeared startlingly close right above me. I stopped for a quick pit stop to gird my loins for the final push and got chatting to a nice Dutch bloke who told me that he and 700 other Dutch and Belgians cyclists were riding Ventoux that day to raise money for cancer research - Chapeau!! And there was me thinking it was always this busy!
The summit was soon won and after a couple of pics I settled in for 'Omlette et frites avec Coca et grand cafe au lait sil vous plait' before starting my descent to Bedoin. After a couple of miles I stopped for a moment to pay the respects of the Crapiwheelers to Tom Simpson and then soon found myself amongst pine trees where I encountered the first punc**** of the day, bugger! Bedoin came and went in a blink of the eye as I made my way over the Col De La Madelaine (no not THAT one) back to Malaucene. This col is only about 470 metres but with Ventoux in my legs it felt like a bloody 1st cat, and the views back over Ventoux from the little col were stunning.
The journey back to Cairanne was thankfully a much quicker affair, rolling along quite nicely between 22 and 28mph on the flat with Le Mistral at my side. All in all this was a pretty big day out for a solo ride, my only regret is that I didn't have the rest of the Crapis along with me to share the experience (and the work).
Find more Bike Ride in Saint-LÉGer-Du-Ventoux, France
Saturday 18 August 2012
Bwlch Penbarras Ball Breaker
Sherpas Robbo, Beast, Vino, Ronnie and Gareth reported for duty, replete with ropes, harnesses and crampons. To say the 'Old Horseshoe' and the 'Bwlch Penbarras' were steep is something of an understatement, as recently consumed beans on toast were jettisoned on the roadside half way up the second big climb of the day. I've uploaded a map of the full route but I'll also add a couple of extra maps just of the first 2 climbs themselves, because the average gradient on the full map doesn't tell the truth! Both over over 20% for much of their length!
Find more Bike Ride in Llangollen, United Kingdom
Find more Bike Ride in Ruthin, United Kingdom
Find more Bike Ride in Llangollen, United Kingdom
Find more Bike Ride in Llangollen, United Kingdom
Find more Bike Ride in Ruthin, United Kingdom
Find more Bike Ride in Llangollen, United Kingdom
Saturday 11 August 2012
Vivod and Glyn Ceiriog character builder 11/08/12
Lambs to the slaughter - Robbo, Vino, Lantern, Chrissy, Mike, Ronnie, Aled, Coppi, Beast. Comedy write-up to follow from Lantern in due course, in the meantime this is the map
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Find more Bike Ride in Oswestry, United Kingdom
Monday 6 August 2012
Monday 16 July 2012
Off the Back Part Deux - Coppi’s French adventure
Tuesday 12th June 2012
The day dawned drizzly and overcast and once the Hughes chalet had liaised with Matinee, the Lantern was allowed to go back to bed. “I’m not getting soaked again” seemed to be the prevailing sentiment.
Apart from Messrs Craig, Gladys and the Candle who braved the murk and the drizzle and set off to do the “balcony” road. This is a road that is reached by cycling up Alpe D’Huez for the first five hairpins and then turning right. The road is “bolted onto the side of the mountain and affords a stunning view of the Romanche valley. Eventually if you follow the road you come out in La Freney which is a couple of kilometres below Lake Chambon.
Once they reached the valley road the weather picked up tremendously and soon they were climbing the Alpe in sunshine (or that’s what the told us!!). After a stunning ride of some thirty odd miles our intrepid trio returned to Bourg for a spot of lunch. On the ride back Gladys announced he was going to ride up to the Col du Lauterat where he would encounter Coppi and the Lantern (more of this later). Craig and the Candle both said “Feck that” and rode back to camp.
Meanwhile back at camp the morning had progressed along the lines of sunshine and showers and Matinee had decided it was a day off for him and the Lantern. Matinee subsequently spent most of the afternoon working on his tan (easy there ladies) and ploughing through “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” (Its very good if you haven’t read it - but remember to read the other two first!!).
Ron and Chris made the decision early afternoon to go and ride the “balcony” road themselves. Apart from the fact that they dodged the showers I don’t really know what happened though I think its safe to assume that Ron attacked at some point on the ride back (my notes say he didn’t but I can‘t believe that!!)!!
The Lantern offered to take Coppi up to see the Col du Galibier assuming his bladder could withstand the approx 37Km car ride to get there. The road up is quite scenic and the air was punctured from time to time by an awestruck “No way” as the peleton’s answer to Hinge and Bracket made their way up to the Col du Lauterat.
Coppi made the somewhat rash decision that his bladder would hold whilst they drove the 8km from the Col du Lauterat up to the Galibier. Soon the car was moving through snow banks with stunning views (as well as a startlingly steep drop) on one side. Coppi, camera whirring like David Bailey, was clicking away like, well, his hip.
By the top Coppi posed for a picture by the Henry Desgrange memorial. I think the cold up there (it was 2 degrees according to the car!!) must have affected him for he suddenly announced a desperate urge for a piss. “There’s no one around go behind the memorial” the lantern said. No sooner had Coppi scuttled crab-like behind the memorial and starting relieving himself (not an image you want to keep is it) than a dozen German bikers turned up and started posing for photos round the front. I can just imagine that they’ll get more than they bargained for when they get the photos back - they might be slightly over exposed!! Next minute a skier appears from Coppi’s right and skies right past him before falling over. Apparently yellow snow isn’t so good for skiing on…….
By now snow was starting to fall quite vigorously and the Lantern drove Coppi off the mountain with Coppi muttering under his breath “No f**king way would I climb this on a bike”. On the descent Coppi saw a marmot and his day was complete.
After Coppi had recovered from his near frostbite with a coffee - don’t think the waiter had ever seen one dunked in a coffee cup before…….. - the plucky duo began their descent where they encountered Gladys so they turned round and gave him a lift back from the top.
On the journey back Coppi got a text off Ron “Bring beer” so we had to divert via the supermarket. It subsequently transpired that they’d got through 72 bottles to that point in the week. Quote from Coppi “I’ve only had four!!”.
Back at camp Matinee had acquired the Petanque from the campsite and various combinations of Chris, Ron, the Candle, Matinee and the Lantern did battle for a couple of hours. Ron, who it must be said picked the game up quick, threw one of his balls very close to the jack. “That’s got good legs” said Chris at the precise moment Coppi lurched into view; “Unlike your brother” deadpanned Matinee.
Wednesday 13th June 2012
Matinee was up early and chomping at the bit ready for tackling the balcony road. The Lantern wasn’t quite so perky (possibly a slight understatement) and was thinking maybe he should have gone yesterday as the big ride was scheduled for tomorrow.
Anyway they went and the Lantern suffered like a dog up the Alpe and he decided if he felt like that tomorrow he’d be lucky to make it down to Bourg never mind up the Croix du Fer. On the balcony road Matinee stopped to watch an eagle (Don Henley apparently). As he and the Lantern reached the end of the road where the mountain above you drops away an eagle (possibly the same one but it did look more like Joe Walsh) glided in from the left on a thermal about ten feet above them. It was a magnificent site and the lads knew just how to do the moment justice “After three; one, two, three……..NO WAY!!!”.
After a nice extra climb up to Auris (which Matinee had found on the map) which was unfortunately closed (literally - the whole place was “ferme”) they made their way down to La Freney where they found a very nice roadside café serving steak and chips; Matinee even managed half a bottle of Rose. Well we were on holiday after all!!
The sun shone down and it was a very pleasant interlude before returning to base.
Craig, Gladys and the Candle had decreed a day off for themselves and headed off to Briancon for a bit of sightseeing and, in the case of Craig and the Candle, a bit of sunburn. Belisha beacons spring to mind and if you’ve seen the photos you’ll know what I mean. On their return to base the intrepid trio hopped on their bikes and cycled ten miles down the road before stopping off at the pub on the way back. Well we were on holiday after all!!
Coppi decided to have another crack at La Barade aided by his two brothers. Coppi opted to ride the whole way rather than get driven up the first climb. By his own admission he suffered a bit (okay okay like a dog) but he persevered and made it to the top under his own steam. Another great achievement given the length of time he was off the bike. It really is a stunning ride with breath-taking views. Coppi high on achievement (and paracetamol, anadin, ibruphen, co-codomol, syndol, panadol, kapeke, pro plus, morphine and opium….to name a few) attacked the descent with gusto and very nearly paid the price. Taking a bend far too fast, he reckoned it was only the steel in his hip acting as a counterweight that kept him on the road.
That night plans were discussed for the next day. Coppi, mindful of not over extending himself, was planning on doing the balcony road on his own.
Craig, Gladys, the Candle, Chris, Ron and Matinee were all up for the big three - Croix de Fer, Telegraphe & Galibier.
The Lantern? Well he’d see how he felt on the Croix de fer tomorrow.
Thursday 14 June 2012
The day dawned sunny and bright, unlike the Lantern, who has never been good in the morning. The peleton set off just before 8am for what promised to be an epic day in the saddle.
The peleton that day being everyone bar Coppi who had taken the decision that he’d do the Balcony road on his own rather than slow the group up on the Croix de fer. By his account he slogged up the first five hairpins on alpe d’Huez but agreed it had been worth it. Coppi said he had sat on the wall and looked out across the valley and drunk in the views, topped up his tan and reflected on how much he had achieved on his bike during the holiday. He did not see an eagle though.
The main group reached the bottom of the Croix de Fer without too much incident and splintered as people began to climb at their own pace. Craig was first up the road followed by Gladys and the Candle riding together. The Lantern was next on the road but he could hear the Hughes brothers and Matinee behind him as they caught him following their world record breaking piss stop. The Lantern climbing steadily (and not bad for a fatty) found his legs feeling much better than yesterday and found himself at Le Molard (where you can fill up your bottles) almost before he knew it. Last time he climbed this Col he’d had about three stops by then!! The Hughes brothers and Matinee caught up and then the Lantern forged ahead again as Matinee and Chris; who were standing in for Coppi; needed another piss.
Eventually the Hughes brothers and Matinee caught the Lantern and they rode together round the hairpins that lead up to the grandly titled Lac de Grand Maison where the whole group came back together as Craig had stopped to take some pictures. The Candle had apparently missed the water trough to fill your bottles and gratefully accepted half a bidon from the Lantern (and downed it with more gusto than a wino with a bottle of meths!!).
After barely posing for the photographer the peleton summitted the Croix de fer and set about ordering lunch (and very nice it was too).
Suitably refreshed the peleton began the long descent (with the odd ascent thrown in) off the Croix de fer towards Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne. Those of you who watched the Tour stage last Thursday (Stage 11 in 2012 Tour) will be familiar with the first part of the descent. The upper slopes were quite twisty and the group split into two groups with the Candle (now fortified by coffee) appearing to have shaken off his sluggish demeanour as he rocketed down the descent with Chris and Craig hanging onto his coat tails. The rest of the group came down at a steadier pace. Eventually the road came to a right fork for the Mollard (“it’s not that way” chimed Matinee); the left fork ramped upwards (“it can’t be that way for f**ks sake, we’re supposed to be on a descent“, chimed everyone else!!!).
Gladys rode up the road and confirmed to the doubters in the 2nd group on the road that yes it was time to go uphill again. This was a quite a lot of uphill and included a couple of tunnels before the distant sound of the Candle going wheeeeeeeee suggested the descent was about to begin again.
During this part of the descent the Lantern made his way up towards the front and soon he was closing his eyes behind Chris, as Chris had several near misses with the oncoming traffic (and before the Candle gets too smug I’ve seen the footage of his descent and there was this blue car…..). Passing Craig on the way down the intrepid duo then passed a black 4X4 type car thingy which was apparently filming us descending - however people get their kicks……
All too soon the road ramped up again and the peleton regrouped at a junction before flying down into S-J-d-M. The town was a bit of a bugger to get through but soon enough the peleton had cleared it and were riding parallel to the motorway towards Saint-Michel-de-Maurienne. The peleton were rolling along quite nicely but the Candle was still, somewhat unusually, struggling to hold the pace. God only knows what thoughts he was harbouring with the Telegraphe and the Galibier to come shortly after we passed through the town.
I’m sure you all know by now that it took quite a while to pass through S-M-d-M due to Craig suffering a freak accident. I won’t go into the details as everybody’s heard about it by now. Suffice to say it was a freak accident and he probably couldn’t pick that piece of metal up again if he tried. As it was, a whip round was had to ensure he had enough euros to get to the local hospital for a check up. The Candle agreed to stay in S-M-d-M with the bikes and Gladys was dispatched to finish the ride and retrieve the car and come back for his colleagues. That may seem strange but there really was no other alternative - a taxi would be too expensive from there and no one thought Coppi would drive over the Galibier (a definite ‘NO WAY’ we all agreed).
Gladys gamely set off and was soon lost to view. His Garmin stats show he covered 109 miles in 9hrs 33 minutes of riding. What it doesn’t tell you is how impressive that was as he didn’t have a café stop and ran out of water - the image of a desperate cyclist with fantastic sideburns desperately trying to fill his bottle from a mountain stream on the Galibier will stay long in the memory - and we weren’t even there!!
The remaining four riders - Matinee, Chris, Ron and Silky decided to push on and try and finish the ride.
I think I speak for all when I say that the ride lost something with Craig’s crash. This was his ride; he pushed it for months and persuaded the rest of us to give it a go. Thankfully the Lantern received a text whist on the Galibier confirming no major injuries and both Craig and the Candle did subsequently conquer the Stelvio the weekend following this crash. As the French would say “Chapeau”.
As Matinee, Chris, Ron and the Lantern trundled out of S-M-d-M they were greeted by a sign that said Col du Telegraphe 11Km; Col du Galibier 36KM. Ron spoke for all when he said “Need to dig deep and make sure we all get back together”. Matinee said “I calculate if we climb at 5 - 6 mph we’ll be on top of the Galibier at 7pm; it was about 2:45pm when he said it. Suddenly this was serious and a few of us thought “Jeez we/I might not make this”.
And so we trundled up the scenic slopes of the Telegraphe; Matinee up front; Ron someway behind and Chris pacing the Lantern up somewhere behind him. Ron said later he found the Telegraphe harder than the Galibier but the Lantern didn’t!! Yes it was hot and yes it was steep but he and Chris trundled up it very nicely thank you. Matinee stopped for a piss and noticed a road kill Snickers bar which had no doubt slipped out of an unfortunate rider’s back pocket. He stooped creakily and pocketed himself, you never know.
The climb is actually 11.8Km long, gaining 856m in height, average gradient is 7.3% with a maximum of 9.8% just near the summit.
Thankfully there was a café on top to hide from the heat and refuel on coke (the drink for anyone “sniffing” a drug story!!) and croque monsieur. The view was fantastic (as you’ll see when someone bothers to put photos up) but the group were oddly subdued as we knew that the biggest challenge was still to come. This was serious stuff now.
After a 4.8Km descent to Valloire (which looked lovely) the group headed out of town onto the lower slopes of the Galibier. I won’t bore you with pages of how hard it was; we all know that anyway. Suffice to say from Valloire it is 18.1Km; average 6.9% and the maximum of 10.1% is again just below the summit. You’ll have seen the picture of Matinee, Chris & Ron on the top (and yes it does look like their carer is just out of shot I know) and the Lantern rolled in sometime later - it was about 6:50pm.
After the descent down to the Col du Lautaret the group stopped for coffee and crepes although the Lantern couldn’t face his crepe so he had the road kill snickers the matinee had picked up on the Telegraphe. The mood now was much jollier; we’d done it!! It was more or less down hill all the way back from there. The 34 or so kilometres left passed in a bit of a blur with the four intrepid Crapis still doing through and off at over 30mph in parts. It would have brought a tear to the Patron’s eye.
Gladys passed in the car heading to pick up Craig and the Candle and the group acknowledged the 100 mile mark when it came. The three tunnels on the descent were negotiated without incident although Ron did launch himself through the longest one like the Roadrunner on speed!!
The Lantern arrived at the turning for Venosc to find Coppi and the car; a welcome sight. “Bit of a problem mate” he said “I can’t find the keys for the bike locks; I’ll have to take one of you and come back for the rest”. When Chris arrived and we relayed this information to him he replied “Of course you won’t they are in my glasses case in my room”. “But you’ve just spoken to him and asked him to pick us up…..” the Lantern started to say and then remembered it was the Hughes brothers he was dealing with!!!!
As it turned out Chris and Ron rode back to camp; Ron confessed he’d been holding a bit back in case we were racing at the end. Compare that to his earlier “dig deep and stick together comment”.
So it was that Coppi took the wheels off the Lantern’s bike and squeezed Matinee and the Lantern in for the trip back to camp.
All in all an epic day and one which we all said we were glad to have done, just don’t ask us to do it again!!! The day was made even more epic when Gladys turned up the next day with news that we’d done over 14,100 ft of climbing on the ride!!! Looking back now the Lantern for one could probably be persuaded to give it another go…….just not for a while yet.
Friday 15 June 2012
Well what can you say about the day after an epic ride like that? Not a lot really. The day was mostly concerned with getting ready for departure the next day and checking on Craig’s condition. However, everyone agreed to have a meal at the site restaurant that night.
Ron, in true Ron style, got lost on his way to the restaurant that he had walked past everyday that week!!! Candle and the Matinee ordered snails, much to the Hughes brothers disgust. Craig’s assertion that you could eat garden snails but needed to feed them on carrots until their poo was orange didn’t help either.
Coppi was recounting his ride on the Balcony road to Matinee, the Candle and the Lantern. “He could have been carried off by an eagle and no one would know what’d happened” we ventured. “With his bike still attached via his cleats”. “Imagine the headline; Welsh cyclist disappears - no clues!!!”. “The eagle would crack his beak when he tried to eat the bike and Coppi’s screws though”. “He’d have a lisp then wouldn’t he?”. “His feathered descendants would do the same, and eventually someone would get funding to study the mysterious lisping eagles of the alpes”. “They’d find the bike in the eyrie, with pristine white tyres still pumped up” “Headline: Mysterious disappearance of Welsh cyclist solved!!!”. Well, we were in a good mood.
The meal was the perfect end to a great holiday; swapping stories around the big table. Gladys rounded off the meal with some rum and raisin ice cream - “contains alcohol” said the menu. When it arrived it was basically vanilla ice cream with raisins thrown on top and enough rum poured over the mixture to make Galdys’ eyes water.
Goodbyes were said as Craig’s car was heading to Italy and the Stelvio whilst the other two were travelling home to Wales.
Saturday 16 June 2012
The day passed off relatively without incident though one exchange is worthy of note. The Lantern asked Coppi if he was planning on driving that day. “No” replied Coppi; Chris chipped in with “He’s got an important job; he’s our navigator”. When the Lantern got back to his car he relayed this to Matinee. “You know what that entails” the Lantern asked. “What?” asked Matinee. “They follow us out of the camp, Coppi extends his arm and says “follow that car” before promptly falling asleep for four hours, safe in the knowledge he’d done his job”.
The cars split when we entered North Wales and the Lantern took Matinee home to his wife whilst the brothers Hughes returned to Rhostyllen.
To sum up it was a fantastic trip; had Craig not had the misfortune to crash I think it would have been perfect. Star of the show - Coppi for me without a doubt. To do what he did after the accident he had was truly amazing - chapeau to you sir. To everyone else thanks for making it a very special trip and I say “chapeau” to you all.
Until the next time………..
The day dawned drizzly and overcast and once the Hughes chalet had liaised with Matinee, the Lantern was allowed to go back to bed. “I’m not getting soaked again” seemed to be the prevailing sentiment.
Apart from Messrs Craig, Gladys and the Candle who braved the murk and the drizzle and set off to do the “balcony” road. This is a road that is reached by cycling up Alpe D’Huez for the first five hairpins and then turning right. The road is “bolted onto the side of the mountain and affords a stunning view of the Romanche valley. Eventually if you follow the road you come out in La Freney which is a couple of kilometres below Lake Chambon.
Once they reached the valley road the weather picked up tremendously and soon they were climbing the Alpe in sunshine (or that’s what the told us!!). After a stunning ride of some thirty odd miles our intrepid trio returned to Bourg for a spot of lunch. On the ride back Gladys announced he was going to ride up to the Col du Lauterat where he would encounter Coppi and the Lantern (more of this later). Craig and the Candle both said “Feck that” and rode back to camp.
Meanwhile back at camp the morning had progressed along the lines of sunshine and showers and Matinee had decided it was a day off for him and the Lantern. Matinee subsequently spent most of the afternoon working on his tan (easy there ladies) and ploughing through “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” (Its very good if you haven’t read it - but remember to read the other two first!!).
Ron and Chris made the decision early afternoon to go and ride the “balcony” road themselves. Apart from the fact that they dodged the showers I don’t really know what happened though I think its safe to assume that Ron attacked at some point on the ride back (my notes say he didn’t but I can‘t believe that!!)!!
The Lantern offered to take Coppi up to see the Col du Galibier assuming his bladder could withstand the approx 37Km car ride to get there. The road up is quite scenic and the air was punctured from time to time by an awestruck “No way” as the peleton’s answer to Hinge and Bracket made their way up to the Col du Lauterat.
Coppi made the somewhat rash decision that his bladder would hold whilst they drove the 8km from the Col du Lauterat up to the Galibier. Soon the car was moving through snow banks with stunning views (as well as a startlingly steep drop) on one side. Coppi, camera whirring like David Bailey, was clicking away like, well, his hip.
By the top Coppi posed for a picture by the Henry Desgrange memorial. I think the cold up there (it was 2 degrees according to the car!!) must have affected him for he suddenly announced a desperate urge for a piss. “There’s no one around go behind the memorial” the lantern said. No sooner had Coppi scuttled crab-like behind the memorial and starting relieving himself (not an image you want to keep is it) than a dozen German bikers turned up and started posing for photos round the front. I can just imagine that they’ll get more than they bargained for when they get the photos back - they might be slightly over exposed!! Next minute a skier appears from Coppi’s right and skies right past him before falling over. Apparently yellow snow isn’t so good for skiing on…….
By now snow was starting to fall quite vigorously and the Lantern drove Coppi off the mountain with Coppi muttering under his breath “No f**king way would I climb this on a bike”. On the descent Coppi saw a marmot and his day was complete.
After Coppi had recovered from his near frostbite with a coffee - don’t think the waiter had ever seen one dunked in a coffee cup before…….. - the plucky duo began their descent where they encountered Gladys so they turned round and gave him a lift back from the top.
On the journey back Coppi got a text off Ron “Bring beer” so we had to divert via the supermarket. It subsequently transpired that they’d got through 72 bottles to that point in the week. Quote from Coppi “I’ve only had four!!”.
Back at camp Matinee had acquired the Petanque from the campsite and various combinations of Chris, Ron, the Candle, Matinee and the Lantern did battle for a couple of hours. Ron, who it must be said picked the game up quick, threw one of his balls very close to the jack. “That’s got good legs” said Chris at the precise moment Coppi lurched into view; “Unlike your brother” deadpanned Matinee.
Wednesday 13th June 2012
Matinee was up early and chomping at the bit ready for tackling the balcony road. The Lantern wasn’t quite so perky (possibly a slight understatement) and was thinking maybe he should have gone yesterday as the big ride was scheduled for tomorrow.
Anyway they went and the Lantern suffered like a dog up the Alpe and he decided if he felt like that tomorrow he’d be lucky to make it down to Bourg never mind up the Croix du Fer. On the balcony road Matinee stopped to watch an eagle (Don Henley apparently). As he and the Lantern reached the end of the road where the mountain above you drops away an eagle (possibly the same one but it did look more like Joe Walsh) glided in from the left on a thermal about ten feet above them. It was a magnificent site and the lads knew just how to do the moment justice “After three; one, two, three……..NO WAY!!!”.
After a nice extra climb up to Auris (which Matinee had found on the map) which was unfortunately closed (literally - the whole place was “ferme”) they made their way down to La Freney where they found a very nice roadside café serving steak and chips; Matinee even managed half a bottle of Rose. Well we were on holiday after all!!
The sun shone down and it was a very pleasant interlude before returning to base.
Craig, Gladys and the Candle had decreed a day off for themselves and headed off to Briancon for a bit of sightseeing and, in the case of Craig and the Candle, a bit of sunburn. Belisha beacons spring to mind and if you’ve seen the photos you’ll know what I mean. On their return to base the intrepid trio hopped on their bikes and cycled ten miles down the road before stopping off at the pub on the way back. Well we were on holiday after all!!
Coppi decided to have another crack at La Barade aided by his two brothers. Coppi opted to ride the whole way rather than get driven up the first climb. By his own admission he suffered a bit (okay okay like a dog) but he persevered and made it to the top under his own steam. Another great achievement given the length of time he was off the bike. It really is a stunning ride with breath-taking views. Coppi high on achievement (and paracetamol, anadin, ibruphen, co-codomol, syndol, panadol, kapeke, pro plus, morphine and opium….to name a few) attacked the descent with gusto and very nearly paid the price. Taking a bend far too fast, he reckoned it was only the steel in his hip acting as a counterweight that kept him on the road.
That night plans were discussed for the next day. Coppi, mindful of not over extending himself, was planning on doing the balcony road on his own.
Craig, Gladys, the Candle, Chris, Ron and Matinee were all up for the big three - Croix de Fer, Telegraphe & Galibier.
The Lantern? Well he’d see how he felt on the Croix de fer tomorrow.
Thursday 14 June 2012
The day dawned sunny and bright, unlike the Lantern, who has never been good in the morning. The peleton set off just before 8am for what promised to be an epic day in the saddle.
The peleton that day being everyone bar Coppi who had taken the decision that he’d do the Balcony road on his own rather than slow the group up on the Croix de fer. By his account he slogged up the first five hairpins on alpe d’Huez but agreed it had been worth it. Coppi said he had sat on the wall and looked out across the valley and drunk in the views, topped up his tan and reflected on how much he had achieved on his bike during the holiday. He did not see an eagle though.
The main group reached the bottom of the Croix de Fer without too much incident and splintered as people began to climb at their own pace. Craig was first up the road followed by Gladys and the Candle riding together. The Lantern was next on the road but he could hear the Hughes brothers and Matinee behind him as they caught him following their world record breaking piss stop. The Lantern climbing steadily (and not bad for a fatty) found his legs feeling much better than yesterday and found himself at Le Molard (where you can fill up your bottles) almost before he knew it. Last time he climbed this Col he’d had about three stops by then!! The Hughes brothers and Matinee caught up and then the Lantern forged ahead again as Matinee and Chris; who were standing in for Coppi; needed another piss.
Eventually the Hughes brothers and Matinee caught the Lantern and they rode together round the hairpins that lead up to the grandly titled Lac de Grand Maison where the whole group came back together as Craig had stopped to take some pictures. The Candle had apparently missed the water trough to fill your bottles and gratefully accepted half a bidon from the Lantern (and downed it with more gusto than a wino with a bottle of meths!!).
After barely posing for the photographer the peleton summitted the Croix de fer and set about ordering lunch (and very nice it was too).
Suitably refreshed the peleton began the long descent (with the odd ascent thrown in) off the Croix de fer towards Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne. Those of you who watched the Tour stage last Thursday (Stage 11 in 2012 Tour) will be familiar with the first part of the descent. The upper slopes were quite twisty and the group split into two groups with the Candle (now fortified by coffee) appearing to have shaken off his sluggish demeanour as he rocketed down the descent with Chris and Craig hanging onto his coat tails. The rest of the group came down at a steadier pace. Eventually the road came to a right fork for the Mollard (“it’s not that way” chimed Matinee); the left fork ramped upwards (“it can’t be that way for f**ks sake, we’re supposed to be on a descent“, chimed everyone else!!!).
Gladys rode up the road and confirmed to the doubters in the 2nd group on the road that yes it was time to go uphill again. This was a quite a lot of uphill and included a couple of tunnels before the distant sound of the Candle going wheeeeeeeee suggested the descent was about to begin again.
During this part of the descent the Lantern made his way up towards the front and soon he was closing his eyes behind Chris, as Chris had several near misses with the oncoming traffic (and before the Candle gets too smug I’ve seen the footage of his descent and there was this blue car…..). Passing Craig on the way down the intrepid duo then passed a black 4X4 type car thingy which was apparently filming us descending - however people get their kicks……
All too soon the road ramped up again and the peleton regrouped at a junction before flying down into S-J-d-M. The town was a bit of a bugger to get through but soon enough the peleton had cleared it and were riding parallel to the motorway towards Saint-Michel-de-Maurienne. The peleton were rolling along quite nicely but the Candle was still, somewhat unusually, struggling to hold the pace. God only knows what thoughts he was harbouring with the Telegraphe and the Galibier to come shortly after we passed through the town.
I’m sure you all know by now that it took quite a while to pass through S-M-d-M due to Craig suffering a freak accident. I won’t go into the details as everybody’s heard about it by now. Suffice to say it was a freak accident and he probably couldn’t pick that piece of metal up again if he tried. As it was, a whip round was had to ensure he had enough euros to get to the local hospital for a check up. The Candle agreed to stay in S-M-d-M with the bikes and Gladys was dispatched to finish the ride and retrieve the car and come back for his colleagues. That may seem strange but there really was no other alternative - a taxi would be too expensive from there and no one thought Coppi would drive over the Galibier (a definite ‘NO WAY’ we all agreed).
Gladys gamely set off and was soon lost to view. His Garmin stats show he covered 109 miles in 9hrs 33 minutes of riding. What it doesn’t tell you is how impressive that was as he didn’t have a café stop and ran out of water - the image of a desperate cyclist with fantastic sideburns desperately trying to fill his bottle from a mountain stream on the Galibier will stay long in the memory - and we weren’t even there!!
The remaining four riders - Matinee, Chris, Ron and Silky decided to push on and try and finish the ride.
I think I speak for all when I say that the ride lost something with Craig’s crash. This was his ride; he pushed it for months and persuaded the rest of us to give it a go. Thankfully the Lantern received a text whist on the Galibier confirming no major injuries and both Craig and the Candle did subsequently conquer the Stelvio the weekend following this crash. As the French would say “Chapeau”.
As Matinee, Chris, Ron and the Lantern trundled out of S-M-d-M they were greeted by a sign that said Col du Telegraphe 11Km; Col du Galibier 36KM. Ron spoke for all when he said “Need to dig deep and make sure we all get back together”. Matinee said “I calculate if we climb at 5 - 6 mph we’ll be on top of the Galibier at 7pm; it was about 2:45pm when he said it. Suddenly this was serious and a few of us thought “Jeez we/I might not make this”.
And so we trundled up the scenic slopes of the Telegraphe; Matinee up front; Ron someway behind and Chris pacing the Lantern up somewhere behind him. Ron said later he found the Telegraphe harder than the Galibier but the Lantern didn’t!! Yes it was hot and yes it was steep but he and Chris trundled up it very nicely thank you. Matinee stopped for a piss and noticed a road kill Snickers bar which had no doubt slipped out of an unfortunate rider’s back pocket. He stooped creakily and pocketed himself, you never know.
The climb is actually 11.8Km long, gaining 856m in height, average gradient is 7.3% with a maximum of 9.8% just near the summit.
Thankfully there was a café on top to hide from the heat and refuel on coke (the drink for anyone “sniffing” a drug story!!) and croque monsieur. The view was fantastic (as you’ll see when someone bothers to put photos up) but the group were oddly subdued as we knew that the biggest challenge was still to come. This was serious stuff now.
After a 4.8Km descent to Valloire (which looked lovely) the group headed out of town onto the lower slopes of the Galibier. I won’t bore you with pages of how hard it was; we all know that anyway. Suffice to say from Valloire it is 18.1Km; average 6.9% and the maximum of 10.1% is again just below the summit. You’ll have seen the picture of Matinee, Chris & Ron on the top (and yes it does look like their carer is just out of shot I know) and the Lantern rolled in sometime later - it was about 6:50pm.
After the descent down to the Col du Lautaret the group stopped for coffee and crepes although the Lantern couldn’t face his crepe so he had the road kill snickers the matinee had picked up on the Telegraphe. The mood now was much jollier; we’d done it!! It was more or less down hill all the way back from there. The 34 or so kilometres left passed in a bit of a blur with the four intrepid Crapis still doing through and off at over 30mph in parts. It would have brought a tear to the Patron’s eye.
Gladys passed in the car heading to pick up Craig and the Candle and the group acknowledged the 100 mile mark when it came. The three tunnels on the descent were negotiated without incident although Ron did launch himself through the longest one like the Roadrunner on speed!!
The Lantern arrived at the turning for Venosc to find Coppi and the car; a welcome sight. “Bit of a problem mate” he said “I can’t find the keys for the bike locks; I’ll have to take one of you and come back for the rest”. When Chris arrived and we relayed this information to him he replied “Of course you won’t they are in my glasses case in my room”. “But you’ve just spoken to him and asked him to pick us up…..” the Lantern started to say and then remembered it was the Hughes brothers he was dealing with!!!!
As it turned out Chris and Ron rode back to camp; Ron confessed he’d been holding a bit back in case we were racing at the end. Compare that to his earlier “dig deep and stick together comment”.
So it was that Coppi took the wheels off the Lantern’s bike and squeezed Matinee and the Lantern in for the trip back to camp.
All in all an epic day and one which we all said we were glad to have done, just don’t ask us to do it again!!! The day was made even more epic when Gladys turned up the next day with news that we’d done over 14,100 ft of climbing on the ride!!! Looking back now the Lantern for one could probably be persuaded to give it another go…….just not for a while yet.
Friday 15 June 2012
Well what can you say about the day after an epic ride like that? Not a lot really. The day was mostly concerned with getting ready for departure the next day and checking on Craig’s condition. However, everyone agreed to have a meal at the site restaurant that night.
Ron, in true Ron style, got lost on his way to the restaurant that he had walked past everyday that week!!! Candle and the Matinee ordered snails, much to the Hughes brothers disgust. Craig’s assertion that you could eat garden snails but needed to feed them on carrots until their poo was orange didn’t help either.
Coppi was recounting his ride on the Balcony road to Matinee, the Candle and the Lantern. “He could have been carried off by an eagle and no one would know what’d happened” we ventured. “With his bike still attached via his cleats”. “Imagine the headline; Welsh cyclist disappears - no clues!!!”. “The eagle would crack his beak when he tried to eat the bike and Coppi’s screws though”. “He’d have a lisp then wouldn’t he?”. “His feathered descendants would do the same, and eventually someone would get funding to study the mysterious lisping eagles of the alpes”. “They’d find the bike in the eyrie, with pristine white tyres still pumped up” “Headline: Mysterious disappearance of Welsh cyclist solved!!!”. Well, we were in a good mood.
The meal was the perfect end to a great holiday; swapping stories around the big table. Gladys rounded off the meal with some rum and raisin ice cream - “contains alcohol” said the menu. When it arrived it was basically vanilla ice cream with raisins thrown on top and enough rum poured over the mixture to make Galdys’ eyes water.
Goodbyes were said as Craig’s car was heading to Italy and the Stelvio whilst the other two were travelling home to Wales.
Saturday 16 June 2012
The day passed off relatively without incident though one exchange is worthy of note. The Lantern asked Coppi if he was planning on driving that day. “No” replied Coppi; Chris chipped in with “He’s got an important job; he’s our navigator”. When the Lantern got back to his car he relayed this to Matinee. “You know what that entails” the Lantern asked. “What?” asked Matinee. “They follow us out of the camp, Coppi extends his arm and says “follow that car” before promptly falling asleep for four hours, safe in the knowledge he’d done his job”.
The cars split when we entered North Wales and the Lantern took Matinee home to his wife whilst the brothers Hughes returned to Rhostyllen.
To sum up it was a fantastic trip; had Craig not had the misfortune to crash I think it would have been perfect. Star of the show - Coppi for me without a doubt. To do what he did after the accident he had was truly amazing - chapeau to you sir. To everyone else thanks for making it a very special trip and I say “chapeau” to you all.
Until the next time………..
Friday 29 June 2012
Off The Back Episode 1 - Coppi’s French Adventure
As he lay howling at the roadside on that bleak December day with his brothers telling him he’d only bruised his hip, Alpe D’huez seemed an awful long way away for Dave “Coppi” Hughes. The account that follows is a true (well mostly) account of Coppi’s first trip more than 20 miles from Rhostyllen since he was a young man referred to as “Herby” for reasons now thankfully shrouded in swathes of wacky backie smoke……..
The supporting cast to this epic adventure comprised of Matinee Idol, Coppi’s muscle - Chris and Ron, Gladys, Craig, the Candle and the Lantern.
Along the way you’ll laugh, cry and sometimes think “Hang on, Coppi’s not had a mention for ages”!!
Friday 8th June 2012
The first shock for the Lantern at bang on 6.30am on a somewhat blustery morning was the fact that the Hughes brothers (Coppi, Chris and Ron) managed to find Matinee’s house without le Patron to guide them. Coppi immediately bolted from the back of his own car to grab a piss stop at chez Matinee.
Chris, ever in thrall to machines of any type, handed Matinee a walkie talkie and said they could use them to keep in touch between the two cars. What a great idea...
By the time we stopped for Matinee's first cappuccino of the day at the M6 Toll services it was the furthest Coppi had been in his car since 1972!! His tanned complexion somehow contriving to look wan as he rocketed out of the car and headed off towards the toilets.
During the next leg of the journey Matinee and the Lantern decided to change the route to go down the M11, as the M25 was blocked. “We’ll stop at Thurrock services to fuel up and change drivers” Matinee said. “Lets try the walkie talkie” suggested Matinee; no response (apparently they hadn’t turned theirs on!!). Suddenly “Lost in France” came on the radio. “Quick ring Ron and say we’ve phoned in a special request for him” suggested the Lantern. Matinee duly rang the directionally challenged brother, much to the amusement of everyone else.
Possibly we expected a little too much of Coppi, for no sooner had his car rolled to a halt at Thurrock services than he was heading off furtively towards the car-park bushes, tugging at his flies. Thankfully Matinee pointed him in the direction of the toilet block a mere 20 yards away and an arrest for indecent exposure was avoided. Bladder emptied the lads trundled the 300 metres or so to the Thurrock petrol pumps to fuel up. Just as Ron returned to the car, Coppi made a sharp exit and made for the shop. “A paper maybe” mused Matinee but no, Coppi’s determined hobble took him straight through the shop. “Surely he’s not going for a……..” began the Lantern but he was….. Ronnie's face was a picture.
Disappointment at Dover as the ferry was delayed for an hour and a half due to the weather. I won’t say it was choppy on the way over but Coppi was walking perfectly normally as the boat listed back and forth. This meant it would be late when we reached the hotel in Dole (and so it proved - 10.30pm) but the journey in France passed largely without incident. I say largely the Hughes brothers did admit to losing the lead car at one of the Peages. Apparently Matinee had put his glasses on and they didn’t recognise him……. The fact that it was the only black Fiesta with a GB sticker on the back and a Trek and a Bianchi on the roof appeared to have escaped their notice…… After unpacking at the hotel, Robbo cracked open a cool box of beers and the boys sat outside until past midnight, pondering the adventures that lay ahead...
The first day was over and Coppi was yet to take a turn behind the wheel; probably easing himself in gently the Lantern thought.
Saturday 9th June 2012
With only about 220 miles left to cover the lads had a later start from normal and it was gone 8am when they left the plusher than expected hotel. The third car containing Craig, the Candle and Gladys was speeding down a parallel motorway and; after travelling through the night via the tunnel; they were ahead on the road.
Coppi finally took the wheel for the last 30 miles or so after Grenoble which was also probably the hardest 30 miles to drive in France!! To be fair anyone could have missed that kerb and, to be fair, the car landed again almost immediately but Dave had just earned himself one of several new nicknames acquired during the week - Kerby (but no the car didn’t have number 53 on its side).
The rest of the day was given over to sorting out the bikes, shopping and settling in. It is worth noting in passing that on Chris and Ron’s previous trip over their shopping trolley was somewhat sparsely populated. Not this time baby!! Judging by the contents they weren’t just staying for the week, they were staying on to watch the Tour!!!
Sunday 10th June 2012
The day of Coppi’s debut ride in the alps was upon us. Matinee's plan was to go up Alpe D’huez, over the Col de Sarenne dropping down to lake Chambon (average depth 18.6 metres or 61 feet to me and you) before climbing Les Deux Alpes (for those who felt like it). Despite having enough drugs to open his own chemist shop (two more nicknames were earned during the week - The Pharmacist and Dr Fuentes) Coppi had chosen to attack the Alpe without drugs (he was to sorely regret this). Maybe he just wanted to keep the weight down.
At the bottom of the climb everyone went their own way with the Lantern riding along with Coppi. Coppi’s catchphrase, which would become the stuff of legend by the end of the week, was uttered as the steepness of that first ramp made itself felt in his legs - “No way”!!!!
At the first hairpin photos were taken of Coppi posing below the plaque that bore the name of his namesake who won the first ascent up Alpe D’Huez sixty years ago (incidentally in 1952 it was also the first mountain top finish and the first years motorcycle TV crews came to the race). After that, Coppi and the Lantern continued their climb up the mountain with encouragement from both the Hughes brothers; Chris even throwing in some commentary as he recorded Coppi on his ipod.
Soon the others departed and the Lantern was left as the only witness to the battle that raged between Coppi and the Alpe. Halfway up things were looking like they could go either way; especially when Coppi nearly fell down the mountainside whilst having an obligatory piss stop
Gradually the man conquered the mountain and Coppi; pausing only occasionally to utter “No way” as they next stretch of road reared up before him; found his rhythm and continued his ride to victory.
As they passed through the village of Huez, Coppi noticed mass was to be held at 18:00hrs that night. He would later slip back and give a prayer of thanks to the spirit of Coppi who surely helped him conquer the Alpe. As he lit a candle the flame flickered and he heard an unearthly voice tell him “Dave my son I will give you the will to climb the Croix de Fer on Thursday with your brothers”. Dave looked out over the mountain; took a deep sigh and then replied “NO WAY!!!!!!”.
Gladys came back down to keep the two slow coaches company (or possibly to check we weren’t dead) and soon he was coaching Dave in the best pose to strike for the cameras. Coppi remembered Matinee had said the best pictures were standing up in the saddle and going for it…..so he did. Unfortunately he went about 10 yards too early, and by the time the photographer stated clicking Coppi was laughing at his own miscalculation. Amazingly this resulted in some cracking photos although they missed the one of Coppi slumped over his bike 10 seconds later.
Coppi arrived at the café to genuine delight from the rest of the Crapis present. He slumped into his chair; looked at the Lantern and said “I thought you and Allan were joking about how hard it was. That’s the hardest mountain I’ve ever climbed”. Ronnie looked at him and said deadpan “Let’s see how you get on with the next two”. Coppi looked mournful and confessed he’d love a gel but he’d only bought two on the ride and he’d had them by hairpin three!!
Having eaten about half his lunch and been for piss number 67 of the day, the peleton set off through Alpe D’Huez and towards the Col de Sarenne. By this stage Coppi was bitterly regretting his lack of drugs as the efforts of the morning and the bumpy road started to play havoc with his hip.
Chris, Ron and Matinee took station keeping Coppi company on this Col. When the Lantern summited he was met by Craig who said “Coppi’s doing well” pointing to a figure some 100 yards from the summit. “That’s not Coppi” the Lantern wheezed and proceeded to track his arm through a one hundred & eighty degree arc before pointing at a figure considerably further down the climb “That’s Coppi!!”.
The descent off the Sarenne is very twisty and bumpy and Coppi suffered like a dog on the descent; each bump bringing a fresh wave of pain coursing through his body. In consultation with Gladys (who kindly helped keep an eye on the obviously in pain Coppi) and the Lantern it was decided that Coppi would give Les Deux Alpes a miss and ride straight back to camp. Accompanied the majority of the way by Gladys who fancied another crack at Alpe D'Huez (the masochistic sod managed it as well!!).
To be serious for a moment we all think it was a superb effort by Coppi to climb these two mountains on his first day in the Alps. Coppi being his own harshest critic (well maybe second after Ron) initially focused on what he hadn’t achieved but soon came to appreciate the magnitude of his achievement.
This left messrs Craig, Ron, Chris, Matinee, Candle and the Lantern to negotiate the climb up to the Alpe. About halfway up (at least for the Lantern) it started to rain and soon it was coming down quite hard. At the top the village appeared to be completely ferme, and without even managing to refill bottles it was announced that we were heading straight down again.
The Candle proceeded to drop off the side of the mountain followed closely by the Lantern which the rest of the bunch took things more sedately. Apart from Ron who set another record to go with his longest time to ascend Alpe D’Huez on his last visit (27 hours 2 minutes) which was slowest descent.
Given the time gaps on the ascent everybody made it back to base in drips and drabs but the main thing was everyone got back in one piece. All agreed it had been a hard first ride apart from Coppi, who only managed a feeble “Grazie” when passed his morphine tablets.
Monday 11th June 2012
Today was billed as a recovery ride; only being a 24 mile round trip to La Bararde. “That’s not how I remember it” grumbled the Lantern as Chris and Ron explained to Coppi that he’d be fine “There’s a bit of a drag; a flat section and then another drag then pretty even” they told him.
The sheer ineptitude of his brother’s memory cells soon became apparent to Coppi who, with no chance to warm up, struggled on the steep opening climb as his hip made its objections known. Just before the first plateau he had to turn back and not even the Lantern’s thinly disguised lies “We’re nearly there honest mate” could persuade him. Ron defied his reputation for trying to bury anyone who’s struggling by riding back down to the camp when informed Coppi had gone back so Coppi could get in the chalet. Whisper it quietly, but I think he may be human……..
Again everyone took the climb at their own pace & Craig and the Candle ended up riding up together whilst Chris and Matinee; who had waited for news of Coppi; slugged it out on the ascent before Matinee finally won out somewhere near the top. The Lantern struggled along before being joined by Gladys, who had stopped to take pictures, for a very pleasant ride and chat up to the café. Ron, for once, had to be content to bring up the rear following his mercy mission.
Descending in the dry proved a lot easier for most of the peleton apart from Gladys who was with the Candle and the Lantern entering St Christophe but two bends below the village was no where in sight. Despite claiming to not have touched his brakes on the descent he managed a top speed of 36mph compared to the Candle & Lantern’s 48mph (Yes I know I’m a fatty but even so……).
Following a shower and a quick fettle with the bikes most of the peleton then retired to Bourg for that classic combination - a visit to the bike shop and a beer!!
Part deux will follow shortly.......
The supporting cast to this epic adventure comprised of Matinee Idol, Coppi’s muscle - Chris and Ron, Gladys, Craig, the Candle and the Lantern.
Along the way you’ll laugh, cry and sometimes think “Hang on, Coppi’s not had a mention for ages”!!
Friday 8th June 2012
The first shock for the Lantern at bang on 6.30am on a somewhat blustery morning was the fact that the Hughes brothers (Coppi, Chris and Ron) managed to find Matinee’s house without le Patron to guide them. Coppi immediately bolted from the back of his own car to grab a piss stop at chez Matinee.
Chris, ever in thrall to machines of any type, handed Matinee a walkie talkie and said they could use them to keep in touch between the two cars. What a great idea...
By the time we stopped for Matinee's first cappuccino of the day at the M6 Toll services it was the furthest Coppi had been in his car since 1972!! His tanned complexion somehow contriving to look wan as he rocketed out of the car and headed off towards the toilets.
During the next leg of the journey Matinee and the Lantern decided to change the route to go down the M11, as the M25 was blocked. “We’ll stop at Thurrock services to fuel up and change drivers” Matinee said. “Lets try the walkie talkie” suggested Matinee; no response (apparently they hadn’t turned theirs on!!). Suddenly “Lost in France” came on the radio. “Quick ring Ron and say we’ve phoned in a special request for him” suggested the Lantern. Matinee duly rang the directionally challenged brother, much to the amusement of everyone else.
Possibly we expected a little too much of Coppi, for no sooner had his car rolled to a halt at Thurrock services than he was heading off furtively towards the car-park bushes, tugging at his flies. Thankfully Matinee pointed him in the direction of the toilet block a mere 20 yards away and an arrest for indecent exposure was avoided. Bladder emptied the lads trundled the 300 metres or so to the Thurrock petrol pumps to fuel up. Just as Ron returned to the car, Coppi made a sharp exit and made for the shop. “A paper maybe” mused Matinee but no, Coppi’s determined hobble took him straight through the shop. “Surely he’s not going for a……..” began the Lantern but he was….. Ronnie's face was a picture.
Disappointment at Dover as the ferry was delayed for an hour and a half due to the weather. I won’t say it was choppy on the way over but Coppi was walking perfectly normally as the boat listed back and forth. This meant it would be late when we reached the hotel in Dole (and so it proved - 10.30pm) but the journey in France passed largely without incident. I say largely the Hughes brothers did admit to losing the lead car at one of the Peages. Apparently Matinee had put his glasses on and they didn’t recognise him……. The fact that it was the only black Fiesta with a GB sticker on the back and a Trek and a Bianchi on the roof appeared to have escaped their notice…… After unpacking at the hotel, Robbo cracked open a cool box of beers and the boys sat outside until past midnight, pondering the adventures that lay ahead...
The first day was over and Coppi was yet to take a turn behind the wheel; probably easing himself in gently the Lantern thought.
Saturday 9th June 2012
With only about 220 miles left to cover the lads had a later start from normal and it was gone 8am when they left the plusher than expected hotel. The third car containing Craig, the Candle and Gladys was speeding down a parallel motorway and; after travelling through the night via the tunnel; they were ahead on the road.
Coppi finally took the wheel for the last 30 miles or so after Grenoble which was also probably the hardest 30 miles to drive in France!! To be fair anyone could have missed that kerb and, to be fair, the car landed again almost immediately but Dave had just earned himself one of several new nicknames acquired during the week - Kerby (but no the car didn’t have number 53 on its side).
The rest of the day was given over to sorting out the bikes, shopping and settling in. It is worth noting in passing that on Chris and Ron’s previous trip over their shopping trolley was somewhat sparsely populated. Not this time baby!! Judging by the contents they weren’t just staying for the week, they were staying on to watch the Tour!!!
Sunday 10th June 2012
The day of Coppi’s debut ride in the alps was upon us. Matinee's plan was to go up Alpe D’huez, over the Col de Sarenne dropping down to lake Chambon (average depth 18.6 metres or 61 feet to me and you) before climbing Les Deux Alpes (for those who felt like it). Despite having enough drugs to open his own chemist shop (two more nicknames were earned during the week - The Pharmacist and Dr Fuentes) Coppi had chosen to attack the Alpe without drugs (he was to sorely regret this). Maybe he just wanted to keep the weight down.
At the bottom of the climb everyone went their own way with the Lantern riding along with Coppi. Coppi’s catchphrase, which would become the stuff of legend by the end of the week, was uttered as the steepness of that first ramp made itself felt in his legs - “No way”!!!!
At the first hairpin photos were taken of Coppi posing below the plaque that bore the name of his namesake who won the first ascent up Alpe D’Huez sixty years ago (incidentally in 1952 it was also the first mountain top finish and the first years motorcycle TV crews came to the race). After that, Coppi and the Lantern continued their climb up the mountain with encouragement from both the Hughes brothers; Chris even throwing in some commentary as he recorded Coppi on his ipod.
Soon the others departed and the Lantern was left as the only witness to the battle that raged between Coppi and the Alpe. Halfway up things were looking like they could go either way; especially when Coppi nearly fell down the mountainside whilst having an obligatory piss stop
Gradually the man conquered the mountain and Coppi; pausing only occasionally to utter “No way” as they next stretch of road reared up before him; found his rhythm and continued his ride to victory.
As they passed through the village of Huez, Coppi noticed mass was to be held at 18:00hrs that night. He would later slip back and give a prayer of thanks to the spirit of Coppi who surely helped him conquer the Alpe. As he lit a candle the flame flickered and he heard an unearthly voice tell him “Dave my son I will give you the will to climb the Croix de Fer on Thursday with your brothers”. Dave looked out over the mountain; took a deep sigh and then replied “NO WAY!!!!!!”.
Gladys came back down to keep the two slow coaches company (or possibly to check we weren’t dead) and soon he was coaching Dave in the best pose to strike for the cameras. Coppi remembered Matinee had said the best pictures were standing up in the saddle and going for it…..so he did. Unfortunately he went about 10 yards too early, and by the time the photographer stated clicking Coppi was laughing at his own miscalculation. Amazingly this resulted in some cracking photos although they missed the one of Coppi slumped over his bike 10 seconds later.
Coppi arrived at the café to genuine delight from the rest of the Crapis present. He slumped into his chair; looked at the Lantern and said “I thought you and Allan were joking about how hard it was. That’s the hardest mountain I’ve ever climbed”. Ronnie looked at him and said deadpan “Let’s see how you get on with the next two”. Coppi looked mournful and confessed he’d love a gel but he’d only bought two on the ride and he’d had them by hairpin three!!
Having eaten about half his lunch and been for piss number 67 of the day, the peleton set off through Alpe D’Huez and towards the Col de Sarenne. By this stage Coppi was bitterly regretting his lack of drugs as the efforts of the morning and the bumpy road started to play havoc with his hip.
Chris, Ron and Matinee took station keeping Coppi company on this Col. When the Lantern summited he was met by Craig who said “Coppi’s doing well” pointing to a figure some 100 yards from the summit. “That’s not Coppi” the Lantern wheezed and proceeded to track his arm through a one hundred & eighty degree arc before pointing at a figure considerably further down the climb “That’s Coppi!!”.
The descent off the Sarenne is very twisty and bumpy and Coppi suffered like a dog on the descent; each bump bringing a fresh wave of pain coursing through his body. In consultation with Gladys (who kindly helped keep an eye on the obviously in pain Coppi) and the Lantern it was decided that Coppi would give Les Deux Alpes a miss and ride straight back to camp. Accompanied the majority of the way by Gladys who fancied another crack at Alpe D'Huez (the masochistic sod managed it as well!!).
To be serious for a moment we all think it was a superb effort by Coppi to climb these two mountains on his first day in the Alps. Coppi being his own harshest critic (well maybe second after Ron) initially focused on what he hadn’t achieved but soon came to appreciate the magnitude of his achievement.
This left messrs Craig, Ron, Chris, Matinee, Candle and the Lantern to negotiate the climb up to the Alpe. About halfway up (at least for the Lantern) it started to rain and soon it was coming down quite hard. At the top the village appeared to be completely ferme, and without even managing to refill bottles it was announced that we were heading straight down again.
The Candle proceeded to drop off the side of the mountain followed closely by the Lantern which the rest of the bunch took things more sedately. Apart from Ron who set another record to go with his longest time to ascend Alpe D’Huez on his last visit (27 hours 2 minutes) which was slowest descent.
Given the time gaps on the ascent everybody made it back to base in drips and drabs but the main thing was everyone got back in one piece. All agreed it had been a hard first ride apart from Coppi, who only managed a feeble “Grazie” when passed his morphine tablets.
Monday 11th June 2012
Today was billed as a recovery ride; only being a 24 mile round trip to La Bararde. “That’s not how I remember it” grumbled the Lantern as Chris and Ron explained to Coppi that he’d be fine “There’s a bit of a drag; a flat section and then another drag then pretty even” they told him.
The sheer ineptitude of his brother’s memory cells soon became apparent to Coppi who, with no chance to warm up, struggled on the steep opening climb as his hip made its objections known. Just before the first plateau he had to turn back and not even the Lantern’s thinly disguised lies “We’re nearly there honest mate” could persuade him. Ron defied his reputation for trying to bury anyone who’s struggling by riding back down to the camp when informed Coppi had gone back so Coppi could get in the chalet. Whisper it quietly, but I think he may be human……..
Again everyone took the climb at their own pace & Craig and the Candle ended up riding up together whilst Chris and Matinee; who had waited for news of Coppi; slugged it out on the ascent before Matinee finally won out somewhere near the top. The Lantern struggled along before being joined by Gladys, who had stopped to take pictures, for a very pleasant ride and chat up to the café. Ron, for once, had to be content to bring up the rear following his mercy mission.
Descending in the dry proved a lot easier for most of the peleton apart from Gladys who was with the Candle and the Lantern entering St Christophe but two bends below the village was no where in sight. Despite claiming to not have touched his brakes on the descent he managed a top speed of 36mph compared to the Candle & Lantern’s 48mph (Yes I know I’m a fatty but even so……).
Following a shower and a quick fettle with the bikes most of the peleton then retired to Bourg for that classic combination - a visit to the bike shop and a beer!!
Part deux will follow shortly.......
Sunday 24 June 2012
Crapiwheelers Tour de France - 8th to 16th of June 2012
This year's band of intrepid adventurers consisted of Lantern, Robbo, Coppi, Chrissy, Ronnie, Gladys, Craig and Mike. Needless to say a fantastic time was had by all, with many boldly going further than they'd ever gone before (in more than one sense - remember Coppi hadn't been further than Bala in the past 10 years!). The Lantern made copious crib notes of events from the comfort of his Alpine caravan sofa, and he's a promised a full write up of the trip as soon as his bad back's eased enough to allow him to dress and wash himself. In the meantime, I've uploaded the maps for the rides that we did (thanks to Craig and Gladys for the Garmin stats). Thanks to all the lads for making it such an enjoyable and memorable trip.
Day 1: Alpe D'Huez, Col de Sarenne and Les Deux Alpes
Day 2: La Berarde
Day 3: Balcony road from La Garde
Day 4: Balcony Road and climb to Auris
Find more Bike Ride in VÉNosc, France
Day5: Glandon, Croix de fer, Telegraphe and Galibier
Day 1: Alpe D'Huez, Col de Sarenne and Les Deux Alpes
Day 2: La Berarde
Day 3: Balcony road from La Garde
Day 4: Balcony Road and climb to Auris
Find more Bike Ride in VÉNosc, France
Day5: Glandon, Croix de fer, Telegraphe and Galibier
Monday 28 May 2012
Beauty and Beast Sportive
This was Saturdays Sportive stats, I completed the full course Mike and Gladys did the slightly shorter course.
Some bally hard hills on the route plus a nasty head wind for a large part of it.
Saturday 26 May 2012
Punctures, P*ss Stops and Sunstroke
Superb summer ride today - just shy of 94 miles, 16 mph average, a few thousand feet of climbing and a clear blue sky. Reporting for duty were Robbo, Patron, Brian and Gareth.
A long flattish run into Llanygynog followed by the Milltir Cerrig and Cwm Hirnant climbs in quick succession, then a pretty tough headwind for the last 40 odd miles.
Find more Bike Ride in Shropshire
A long flattish run into Llanygynog followed by the Milltir Cerrig and Cwm Hirnant climbs in quick succession, then a pretty tough headwind for the last 40 odd miles.
Find more Bike Ride in Shropshire
Friday 25 May 2012
For all those with smart phones and / or GPS
Get the strava app on your phone and track your rides and challange on the hills who can be the Crapi King of the Mountain.... Probably Carl or maybe Cabbage or maybe Chris who knows?????
Saturday 19 May 2012
Pinging in the rain 19/05/12
Rollcall:
Craig 'Roger Whittaker' Scott
Mike 'Candle' Davies
Robbo 'Matinee' Roberts
Allan 'Le Patron' Jones
Chris 'Chrissy' Hughes
Carl 'Vino' Jones
Ian 'Lantern' Davies
Herbie 'Coppi' Hughes
Ronnie 'Lionel Blair' Hughes
Cabbage 'Cabbage' Cabbage
Find more Bike Ride in Shropshire
Alternative Garmin map below
Craig 'Roger Whittaker' Scott
Mike 'Candle' Davies
Robbo 'Matinee' Roberts
Allan 'Le Patron' Jones
Chris 'Chrissy' Hughes
Carl 'Vino' Jones
Ian 'Lantern' Davies
Herbie 'Coppi' Hughes
Ronnie 'Lionel Blair' Hughes
Cabbage 'Cabbage' Cabbage
Find more Bike Ride in Shropshire
Alternative Garmin map below
Sunday 13 May 2012
Coppi returns, and so does 'Off the Back'
22/04/12 - OTB - Candle Power on the way out……..
Seeing as how three weeks has passed since this event apologies if I make most of this one up!!! 9am in Patrons for a jaunt to Cerrig via Ruthin.
Assembling by Patron’s front gate were messrs Matinee, Chris, Ron, Craig, Candle, Gaz Waud, Cabbage, Brian and the Lantern. Lantern reckoned he could do with the extra mileage and it would give him bragging rights with Carl who was meeting them in Coedpoeth.
Ron sidled up with a knowing look in his eye and announced to the Lantern that he had a fool-proof ruse to win today and triumphantly produced a clear plastic box with orange coloured sweets in it. “Heard it on the radio” he announced, “90% of racing is about having the right tic-tacs…………”
As the group headed up past Legacy heading for Minera it became clear that the Candle’s trials of last weekend were not over as he slid off the back. Once Vino had been collected the group headed up onto the tops and onwards towards Ruthin.
Whilst navigating the Nant y Garth a fleet of super cars appeared behind the peleton and filled the air with over-rich (and we’re not talking about the drivers here) petrol. Did they sit patiently behind us until it was safe to pass? Did they balls. With overtaking attempts more hare-brained than Ron’s coming off the Horseshoe, the stunted little beasts proceeded to go round bends in the middle of the road and repeatedly tried to run riders off the road. What people with small dicks feel they need to do to make up for their inadequacies………anyway enough about the peleton!!
At Llysfasi with the fumes still clearing the decision was made to hang a left (past Dobbies if you’re lost) and follow the road round (and up and down) until it rejoined the A494. The group then rocketed along the valley floor all the way back to Ruthin before turning left at the signpost for Cerrig. To say the peleton splintered at this point does not really do it justice. Ron, Carl, Matinee, Chris, Cabbage, Craig & Gaz all sallied forth up the road to varying degrees whilst Brian tried to keep pace with the Patron who was plainly on a good day.
Meanwhile the Lantern got to Clawdd-newydd and decided he better get his book out and wait for the Candle (who knew when it would next be handy to have a favour in the bank). The brothers Davies (who are to cycling what the Charltons were to hairstyles) then plodded along quietly eventually arriving in Cerrig where they collected a bewildered looking Brian and shepherded him to the café.
In true Crapi style straight after the café the peleton hit the climb out of Cerrig up towards Llyn Brenig. By now the weather was starting to turn colder (i.e. it was freezing) and rain was in the air.
Just before the sharp climb up towards the lake the peleton hung a right heading for Pentre llyn cymmer. After about a mile the road takes a very nasty turn upwards and much, sweating, cursing and farting ensued (and that was just the Patron!!). By now rain capes had been donned and the Candle fitted with a GPS so the Lantern could keep track of him.
The lead group (i.e. everyone bar the Candle and the Lantern) sped along the rollercoaster (as the road was christened) before passing within yards of the Candle’s front door and onwards through Cyffylliog and Bontuchel on their way to Ruthin.
Meanwhile back at the back it was f**king freezing with the wind and the rain combining to lift the Candle’s spirits as he trundled slowly past his own front door (no one was home to let him in…..). The decision was taken to go back the easy route up the Nant y Garth whilst the main group tackled The Shelf. Arriving in Ruthin it became clear that the peleton hadn’t waited (bastards!!) and the Candle gamely took a turn on the front before following the Lantern up the Nant (we did wait but quarter of a feckin hour is long enough by anyone's book - Ed)
By all accounts the main group splintered again on the Shelf climb with Craig announcing he was shutting it down as he had a race the next day. Note to Craig - nice try but everyone still reckons you were f**ked!!!!
Once they got over the shelf a group of Carl, Cabbage, Matinee & Chris (I can’t remember its ages since Matinee regaled me with the story) made a break for home. Matinee and Vino snapped the elastic (Vino turned off in Coedpoeth) leaving Matinee to claim first back at the cars shortly before Chris' arrival less than a minute later.
Once through the Nant y Garth the Lantern and Candle kept up a reasonable pace until they were joined by the Patron in Coedpoeth. The Lantern ducked out to go back for a hot shower and left the Candle in the capable hands of the Patron.
By all accounts there were some very tired bodies in the Patron’s teashop that day. Not least of which was Gaz who got lost and spent 20 minutes cycling round Wrexham before the smell of wet bike kit finally drew him back to the Patron’s residence.
As always an enjoyable ride with the lads and special hats off to the Candle for getting round after being f**ked by Legacy!! I won’t say see you next week as we all did our own thing……
05/05/12 - OTB - Just a few hills boys…..
Christ 9am start in Bala and as if that wasn’t bad enough both Patron and Vino seemed a bit out of touch with the time taken to get there. Hence both cars arrived around 8.30am.
Once Vino and the Lantern had got themselves suitably attired they trundled over to the other car park to see Vino’s mate’s Aled and Paul - Aled is known as a bit good and Paul looked a bit tasty too!!
Eventually Brian, his mate Gareth & the ever tardy Candle arrived to make up the peleton of Patron, Chris, Ron, Vino, Lantern, Brian, Gareth, Aled and Paul.
The early signs were not good as the Lantern’s legs were screaming as they left the car park. As soon as the group turned left to head up towards Rhyd-Uchaf he had that creeping thought “my legs are fecked today”.
The group pretended not to notice as they wound their way up and round before re-crossing the A4212 road and heading up towards the sometime café in the middle of nowhere. Here, instead of the usual blast down towards Bleanau the peleton turned hard right and followed the signs for Ysbyty Ifan. The Candle took pity on the Lantern and rode with him up to the junction.
Instead of turning right for Ysbyty (as us locals refer to it..) the peleton continued straight on and eventually descended steeply (note to Patron - do not take us up that climb!!!!!) into Penmachno before trundling along to the café stop after a paltry 25 miles.
Fully refreshed the group set off for the Crimea and before long the Lantern was flickering a long way off the back. Eventually the Patron took pity and waited before leading a by now distressed lantern up the climb. At the top gels were forced down and capes donned before rounding the corner to find the rest of the peleton waiting.
The Candle was left on the top as the descent started (couldn’t get his cape on - Batman never had that trouble) and once on the road down to Maentwrog the Lantern sat up to wait (well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). Once the Candle swept past he followed him to the turning where they turned right up the main road on Candle’s advice as the alternative known as “Vino’s steep one” would quite possibly do for the Lantern given how he was going.
So it was the group came back together without too long a wait for the main bunch and they sit off up the road heading for the log cabins and the gated road beyond.
Is it me or do those cabin’s seem to get further down that road each time we go? Chris dropped back to pace Brian and, for part of the way at least, the Lantern back into the fold before Vino took pity on the struggling Lantern and accompanied him to the Cabins.
General refuelling took place and the road ahead was assessed for the benefit of those who’d never done it before. “It’s a bastard” said everyone who had done it before. Gareth looked pensively at the Patron and said “I’ve only got a 25 on the back, that’ll be ok won’t it?”. Never one to waste words Patron’s response was simply “No”.
As usual the peleton splintered badly on the climb with Vino, Aled and Paul leading the way with Chris, Ron, Candle and the Patron chugging along behind.
The Lantern was preying to any god he thought might be listening by this stage and several times he came to bits of road he was convinced he’d never make it up without walking. Yet somehow he did and arrived at the rest of the peleton.
The patron’s one word response was proving prophetic for Gareth as his 25 was no match for the gated road and his cleat’s got a bit more road time than he would have liked.
Once over the hump the peleton stayed together and a rather curious thing occurred; the Lantern’s legs suddenly stopped hurting. As the group went through Llanuwchllyn the road went left and up to signal the run around the lake. The peleton surged up the road and the Lantern, much to his amazement (which was still nothing compared to the Candle’s), went with them and stayed with them for most of the run down the lakeside before a dig by the Patron (Bastard!!) finished him off and he trailed in somewhere behind the bunch and in front of the Candle who finished muttering things like “Where the f**k did he get that energy from” and “Sandbagging little git”.
This was truly an epic ride and one which my rather fractured memory cannot do justice here. It was a ride full of pain and one that had me feeling knackered for the rest of the day. Chatting the following week it wasn’t just me either. But it was a great day out on the bike - 9am start; 4pm back in Coedpoeth. For me just over 5 hours for 68 miles.
As always thanks to everyone who cam along and made it so enjoyable.
12/05/12 - OTB - Flying Dead Italian Returns…..
After weeks of negotiations the Patron finally landed the big one; Elvis’ bike out with the peleton with Coppi aboard wearing a pair of tights that looked like they’d seen service with Gracie Fields during the war.
Also reporting for duty were Vino (or sick note as he’ll be known soon), Ron, Chris “I’ve still got this bastard cold”, Candle, Cabbage, Lantern, Mark “The Rocket” and the Patron.
The call was for a sedate one today with a little bit of climbing for Coppi to test out those legs. “Jesus” the Lantern thought he’s had white shoes to go with the white bike and white tyres. If we’re ever out in the snow we’ll never find the Fecker!!
Brian was duly collected from the Garden Centre but not before Ron had launched one of his characteristic high cadence accelerations to make it to the front on the climb. “He looks like Lionel Blair on a bike” Vino noted to much merriment.
The peleton then headed towards Oswestry and the racecourse hill. Coppi showed he’d lost none of his fighting spirit (or gurning ability) as he battled up the first climb of the day.
At the top Brian, Ron and Cabbage headed off to go up part of the beast before turning right, then left and dropping down into Treflach. The rest of the peleton pushed on down the side of the racecourse before heading up towards Trefonen & Treflach wondering whether Ron would ever be seen again.
Once through Treflach the group descended Blodwell and turned left, hopped over the X-roads at Llynclys before pitching up at the café in Maesbury.
When Coppi dismounted his steed it became evident he still has quite a pronounced limp (imagine Quasimodo walking whilst wearing a freshly filled nappy and you get the gist of it). The patron looked him up and down and said “Coppi I think your ballet dancing career may be over”.
Amazingly Ron, Brian and Cabbage turned up under their own steam and, after a lovely bit of scran, the full peleton set off again ready for its second date with the racecourse.
Up through Morda the bunch went before turning left to ascend the side of the racecourse (which they’d earlier descended) and once again Coppi showed a decent pair of legs (but still awful tights) to get up the climb a second time.
After that it was a gentlish jaunt over the top to Selattyn before dropping down through Western Rhyn and heading the back of Chirk Castle before finishing with the Tally Ho.
Coppi was flagging a bit by now but with brother Chris riding shotgun he got up the Tally Ho with a couple of gears left. By now his spirits were starting to flag (just like his gusset!!!) and he headed straight home for a bath and the last rites.
It’s a shame he didn’t stop for a cuppa as even Ron was moved to praise his speed and fitness after such a long absence.
Nothing more to say except that it was brilliant to have Coppi back out with the lads and for him to complete a 50 miler with the group after such a long absence was quite an achievement. As I said on the ride Coppi “Come on you slow bastard!!”, no sorry that wasn’t it was it - I look forward to riding up them Alps with you in a months time mate, and it was great to have you back.
Seeing as how three weeks has passed since this event apologies if I make most of this one up!!! 9am in Patrons for a jaunt to Cerrig via Ruthin.
Assembling by Patron’s front gate were messrs Matinee, Chris, Ron, Craig, Candle, Gaz Waud, Cabbage, Brian and the Lantern. Lantern reckoned he could do with the extra mileage and it would give him bragging rights with Carl who was meeting them in Coedpoeth.
Ron sidled up with a knowing look in his eye and announced to the Lantern that he had a fool-proof ruse to win today and triumphantly produced a clear plastic box with orange coloured sweets in it. “Heard it on the radio” he announced, “90% of racing is about having the right tic-tacs…………”
As the group headed up past Legacy heading for Minera it became clear that the Candle’s trials of last weekend were not over as he slid off the back. Once Vino had been collected the group headed up onto the tops and onwards towards Ruthin.
Whilst navigating the Nant y Garth a fleet of super cars appeared behind the peleton and filled the air with over-rich (and we’re not talking about the drivers here) petrol. Did they sit patiently behind us until it was safe to pass? Did they balls. With overtaking attempts more hare-brained than Ron’s coming off the Horseshoe, the stunted little beasts proceeded to go round bends in the middle of the road and repeatedly tried to run riders off the road. What people with small dicks feel they need to do to make up for their inadequacies………anyway enough about the peleton!!
At Llysfasi with the fumes still clearing the decision was made to hang a left (past Dobbies if you’re lost) and follow the road round (and up and down) until it rejoined the A494. The group then rocketed along the valley floor all the way back to Ruthin before turning left at the signpost for Cerrig. To say the peleton splintered at this point does not really do it justice. Ron, Carl, Matinee, Chris, Cabbage, Craig & Gaz all sallied forth up the road to varying degrees whilst Brian tried to keep pace with the Patron who was plainly on a good day.
Meanwhile the Lantern got to Clawdd-newydd and decided he better get his book out and wait for the Candle (who knew when it would next be handy to have a favour in the bank). The brothers Davies (who are to cycling what the Charltons were to hairstyles) then plodded along quietly eventually arriving in Cerrig where they collected a bewildered looking Brian and shepherded him to the café.
In true Crapi style straight after the café the peleton hit the climb out of Cerrig up towards Llyn Brenig. By now the weather was starting to turn colder (i.e. it was freezing) and rain was in the air.
Just before the sharp climb up towards the lake the peleton hung a right heading for Pentre llyn cymmer. After about a mile the road takes a very nasty turn upwards and much, sweating, cursing and farting ensued (and that was just the Patron!!). By now rain capes had been donned and the Candle fitted with a GPS so the Lantern could keep track of him.
The lead group (i.e. everyone bar the Candle and the Lantern) sped along the rollercoaster (as the road was christened) before passing within yards of the Candle’s front door and onwards through Cyffylliog and Bontuchel on their way to Ruthin.
Meanwhile back at the back it was f**king freezing with the wind and the rain combining to lift the Candle’s spirits as he trundled slowly past his own front door (no one was home to let him in…..). The decision was taken to go back the easy route up the Nant y Garth whilst the main group tackled The Shelf. Arriving in Ruthin it became clear that the peleton hadn’t waited (bastards!!) and the Candle gamely took a turn on the front before following the Lantern up the Nant (we did wait but quarter of a feckin hour is long enough by anyone's book - Ed)
By all accounts the main group splintered again on the Shelf climb with Craig announcing he was shutting it down as he had a race the next day. Note to Craig - nice try but everyone still reckons you were f**ked!!!!
Once they got over the shelf a group of Carl, Cabbage, Matinee & Chris (I can’t remember its ages since Matinee regaled me with the story) made a break for home. Matinee and Vino snapped the elastic (Vino turned off in Coedpoeth) leaving Matinee to claim first back at the cars shortly before Chris' arrival less than a minute later.
Once through the Nant y Garth the Lantern and Candle kept up a reasonable pace until they were joined by the Patron in Coedpoeth. The Lantern ducked out to go back for a hot shower and left the Candle in the capable hands of the Patron.
By all accounts there were some very tired bodies in the Patron’s teashop that day. Not least of which was Gaz who got lost and spent 20 minutes cycling round Wrexham before the smell of wet bike kit finally drew him back to the Patron’s residence.
As always an enjoyable ride with the lads and special hats off to the Candle for getting round after being f**ked by Legacy!! I won’t say see you next week as we all did our own thing……
05/05/12 - OTB - Just a few hills boys…..
Christ 9am start in Bala and as if that wasn’t bad enough both Patron and Vino seemed a bit out of touch with the time taken to get there. Hence both cars arrived around 8.30am.
Once Vino and the Lantern had got themselves suitably attired they trundled over to the other car park to see Vino’s mate’s Aled and Paul - Aled is known as a bit good and Paul looked a bit tasty too!!
Eventually Brian, his mate Gareth & the ever tardy Candle arrived to make up the peleton of Patron, Chris, Ron, Vino, Lantern, Brian, Gareth, Aled and Paul.
The early signs were not good as the Lantern’s legs were screaming as they left the car park. As soon as the group turned left to head up towards Rhyd-Uchaf he had that creeping thought “my legs are fecked today”.
The group pretended not to notice as they wound their way up and round before re-crossing the A4212 road and heading up towards the sometime café in the middle of nowhere. Here, instead of the usual blast down towards Bleanau the peleton turned hard right and followed the signs for Ysbyty Ifan. The Candle took pity on the Lantern and rode with him up to the junction.
Instead of turning right for Ysbyty (as us locals refer to it..) the peleton continued straight on and eventually descended steeply (note to Patron - do not take us up that climb!!!!!) into Penmachno before trundling along to the café stop after a paltry 25 miles.
Fully refreshed the group set off for the Crimea and before long the Lantern was flickering a long way off the back. Eventually the Patron took pity and waited before leading a by now distressed lantern up the climb. At the top gels were forced down and capes donned before rounding the corner to find the rest of the peleton waiting.
The Candle was left on the top as the descent started (couldn’t get his cape on - Batman never had that trouble) and once on the road down to Maentwrog the Lantern sat up to wait (well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). Once the Candle swept past he followed him to the turning where they turned right up the main road on Candle’s advice as the alternative known as “Vino’s steep one” would quite possibly do for the Lantern given how he was going.
So it was the group came back together without too long a wait for the main bunch and they sit off up the road heading for the log cabins and the gated road beyond.
Is it me or do those cabin’s seem to get further down that road each time we go? Chris dropped back to pace Brian and, for part of the way at least, the Lantern back into the fold before Vino took pity on the struggling Lantern and accompanied him to the Cabins.
General refuelling took place and the road ahead was assessed for the benefit of those who’d never done it before. “It’s a bastard” said everyone who had done it before. Gareth looked pensively at the Patron and said “I’ve only got a 25 on the back, that’ll be ok won’t it?”. Never one to waste words Patron’s response was simply “No”.
As usual the peleton splintered badly on the climb with Vino, Aled and Paul leading the way with Chris, Ron, Candle and the Patron chugging along behind.
The Lantern was preying to any god he thought might be listening by this stage and several times he came to bits of road he was convinced he’d never make it up without walking. Yet somehow he did and arrived at the rest of the peleton.
The patron’s one word response was proving prophetic for Gareth as his 25 was no match for the gated road and his cleat’s got a bit more road time than he would have liked.
Once over the hump the peleton stayed together and a rather curious thing occurred; the Lantern’s legs suddenly stopped hurting. As the group went through Llanuwchllyn the road went left and up to signal the run around the lake. The peleton surged up the road and the Lantern, much to his amazement (which was still nothing compared to the Candle’s), went with them and stayed with them for most of the run down the lakeside before a dig by the Patron (Bastard!!) finished him off and he trailed in somewhere behind the bunch and in front of the Candle who finished muttering things like “Where the f**k did he get that energy from” and “Sandbagging little git”.
This was truly an epic ride and one which my rather fractured memory cannot do justice here. It was a ride full of pain and one that had me feeling knackered for the rest of the day. Chatting the following week it wasn’t just me either. But it was a great day out on the bike - 9am start; 4pm back in Coedpoeth. For me just over 5 hours for 68 miles.
As always thanks to everyone who cam along and made it so enjoyable.
12/05/12 - OTB - Flying Dead Italian Returns…..
After weeks of negotiations the Patron finally landed the big one; Elvis’ bike out with the peleton with Coppi aboard wearing a pair of tights that looked like they’d seen service with Gracie Fields during the war.
Also reporting for duty were Vino (or sick note as he’ll be known soon), Ron, Chris “I’ve still got this bastard cold”, Candle, Cabbage, Lantern, Mark “The Rocket” and the Patron.
The call was for a sedate one today with a little bit of climbing for Coppi to test out those legs. “Jesus” the Lantern thought he’s had white shoes to go with the white bike and white tyres. If we’re ever out in the snow we’ll never find the Fecker!!
Brian was duly collected from the Garden Centre but not before Ron had launched one of his characteristic high cadence accelerations to make it to the front on the climb. “He looks like Lionel Blair on a bike” Vino noted to much merriment.
The peleton then headed towards Oswestry and the racecourse hill. Coppi showed he’d lost none of his fighting spirit (or gurning ability) as he battled up the first climb of the day.
At the top Brian, Ron and Cabbage headed off to go up part of the beast before turning right, then left and dropping down into Treflach. The rest of the peleton pushed on down the side of the racecourse before heading up towards Trefonen & Treflach wondering whether Ron would ever be seen again.
Once through Treflach the group descended Blodwell and turned left, hopped over the X-roads at Llynclys before pitching up at the café in Maesbury.
When Coppi dismounted his steed it became evident he still has quite a pronounced limp (imagine Quasimodo walking whilst wearing a freshly filled nappy and you get the gist of it). The patron looked him up and down and said “Coppi I think your ballet dancing career may be over”.
Amazingly Ron, Brian and Cabbage turned up under their own steam and, after a lovely bit of scran, the full peleton set off again ready for its second date with the racecourse.
Up through Morda the bunch went before turning left to ascend the side of the racecourse (which they’d earlier descended) and once again Coppi showed a decent pair of legs (but still awful tights) to get up the climb a second time.
After that it was a gentlish jaunt over the top to Selattyn before dropping down through Western Rhyn and heading the back of Chirk Castle before finishing with the Tally Ho.
Coppi was flagging a bit by now but with brother Chris riding shotgun he got up the Tally Ho with a couple of gears left. By now his spirits were starting to flag (just like his gusset!!!) and he headed straight home for a bath and the last rites.
It’s a shame he didn’t stop for a cuppa as even Ron was moved to praise his speed and fitness after such a long absence.
Nothing more to say except that it was brilliant to have Coppi back out with the lads and for him to complete a 50 miler with the group after such a long absence was quite an achievement. As I said on the ride Coppi “Come on you slow bastard!!”, no sorry that wasn’t it was it - I look forward to riding up them Alps with you in a months time mate, and it was great to have you back.
Wednesday 9 May 2012
Sunday 6 May 2012
Carbis Bay to Sennen Cove and St Just/Penzance loop
I like a freebie as much as anyone and 'Map My Ride' is a pretty good free application to map many rides. Today's route however demonstrates just how woefully inaccurate it can be and its lack of attention to detail. To put it into perspective, this 40 odd mile route is pretty darn tough and is littered (and I mean absolutely peppered) with 15 - 25% climbs all over the place, and I only managed a 14mph ave. The climb at the half way point is a majorly ludicrous 25% for about a mile yet 'map my ride' gives it a paltry 2 or 3%!!!!!!!!
Anywho, if you happen to be visiting the South West of Cornwall and you fancy a seaside challenge, this road is a MUST, for either push-bike or motorbike (Mike).
Find more Bike Ride in Cornwall
Find more Bike Ride in Cornwall
Anywho, if you happen to be visiting the South West of Cornwall and you fancy a seaside challenge, this road is a MUST, for either push-bike or motorbike (Mike).
Find more Bike Ride in Cornwall
Find more Bike Ride in Cornwall
Saturday 28 April 2012
Coppi's comeback 28/04/12
Following a very impressive turnout last week (12), this weekend saw the poorest showing all year, with Robbo resigned to riding solo. Fortunately, an unexpected eleventh hour e-mail from Coppi suggested that the two of them meet up in Overton, on the strict understanding that 'it wouldn't be a fast one'! A very pleasant couple of hours then ensued along the highways and byways of Shropshire and Cheshire. At one point, Coppi swept alongside Robbo and led at the best part of 30mph along a flat section, which is pretty remarkable when you consider he hadn't been able to even walk for 3 months until a few weeks ago!! Based on today's showing, there's plenty of life and fighting spirit in the Flying Dead Italian, and all of the lads are right behind you as you continue to regain your fitness ready for Les Alpes.
Sunday 22 April 2012
Sunday 15 April 2012
Corwen to Vrynwy
Off the Back - 12/04/14 - Crapi Bonkathon
9am in Corwen was the Patron’s decree this week. Messrs Patron, Chris, Ron, Matinee, Craig, Brian, Brian’s mate Gareth, the Candle and the Lantern answered the call. Carl sent a note to say the ride wasn’t hard enough and he wouldn’t be coming (cunningly disguised as a cold!) and Coppi is still malingering with his bruised (Ronnie's kerb side diagnosis), I mean broken, hip. In a turn up for the books it was Patron and his wacky sidekicks who were last to arrive and the Candle, who has often suffered from the Patron’s tongue (god that conjures up some horrific images), took great delight in pointing out the lateness of the hour.
At slightly after 9am the peleton rolled out in pursuit of Ron who had broken the record for needing a pee by needing one whilst still in the neutral zone!!
With everyone fresh(ish) the peleton made short work of the road from Corwen via Cynwyd, to Bala and were soon turning left by the pub who’s name escapes me (the White Horse possibly but no one really cares). The Candle, keen to show last week’s throwing in of the towel was an aberration, was showing well at the front.
After a few more ups and downs and a trademark pointless early attack by Ron, the group hit the lower slopes of the Bwlch-y-Groes and splintered into more pieces than a wineglass after being sat on by Fatima Whitbread.
The pace eased a bit at the front when the Patron called a piss-stop and the Candle and the Lantern made up some ground whilst discussing the finer points of Ms Pendleton (and quite a few there are too!!).
Gareth disappeared up the road standing in for Carl as the climbing expert of the peleton, weighing about the same as one of my legs. Rapidly followed by Craig on his new Cervelo (almost as nice as my bike honest!) with Matinee and Brian the beast around somewhere as well with the ever-present Ronnie and possibly Chris - how the hell am I expected to see that far up the road?!!?
Check out the pictures on the website though. Ron looks like Rhostyllen’s answer to Mario Cippollini - how cool does he look? Brian gurning like Les Dawson - which would explain why he told everyone in the café he been in the big ring and not noticed!!! Matinee and Chris looking like a couple of bouncers!!! Cheers to Gareth, our guest mountain goat, for the pictures.
Meanwhile back at the back, the Patron, true to his trademark phrases “I’m taking me time today” and the shudder inducing “I’ve had bad guts all week” was keeping the Lantern company as they toiled up the road about 50 metres behind the Candle. A regrouping after the descent meant they raced round the lake to the café but not before discovering an inescapable truth……the Candle was fecked!!!
After a lovely interlude it was time to tackle “the coldest road in Wales” as stated by Patron, Matinee, Ron, Chris, etc (you get the picture). The Lantern rather suspects this assertion has more to do with Craig’s observation that it was a downhill just after the café when everyone was still cold. The spirit of Sherlock Holmes is alive and well.
The peleton rattled down towards Penybontfawr where the only incident of note was a near coming together of Matinee’s bike with Craig’s back wheel, as Craig narrowly escaped running into the back of Ron who mistook the shouts of 'motorbike' for 'right'. Thankfully Matinee wasn’t floored again - just as well as he’s only just got his bike fixed complete with shiny celeste wheels. Rumour has it that he’s so colour co-ordinated that even his chamois cream is celeste!!
The Candle had started to look a little more ragged and the whisper in the peleton was it might be better to have him snuffed (look up your candle terminology) but he battled on gamely, all the while coughing like 25 year veteran pit pony (riding like one as well!!!).
Eventually the peleton reached Llangynog and the second major climb of the day; the Milltir Cerrig. Once again the peleton split faster than the seam on Geoff Capes’ trousers. By all accounts Ron crested the summit first followed by Chris and Robbo (credit to Gareth for stopping to take the pics). All the rest of you if you want me to mention your daring deeds you need to tell me!!!).
Again look at the photos; there’s one of Matinee and some guy called Craif on there who bears a striking resemblance to Craig (too much vino when labelling them perhaps Matinee….). Brian, possibly trying to make up for his gurning on the Bwlch, is displaying a fine set of gnashers not witnessed since Red Rum led the National.
Meanwhile the Patron and the Lantern were winding their way up, followed at varying distances by the Candle who was now scaring sheep such was the force of his hacking cough. Eventually the top came and some way later they joined up with the rest of the peleton.
The group stayed together all the way back to that pub I can’t remember the name of and the right turn that signals 9 miles to home.
9 miles turned out to be too far for some of the peleton. Apparently the lead group of Ron, Matinee, Brian and Gareth pushed on until at some point Gareth’s legs imploded Candle style and he was forced to limp back to the car park on his own. At some point, and I’m a bit hazy as to whether a bonk was involved or just fatigue, Brian slid off the wheel leaving Ron and Matinee to battle it out for bragging rights. In a gesture unheard of, at least within the Crapi peleton, they called a truce and rode in together holding hands and embracing like a couple of newlyweds (probably not, but it’s a nice image).
The Patron and loyal sidekick Chris were next home having left the job of shepherding the Candle home to Craig and the Lantern. Craig and the Lantern chatted away whilst all the while behind the Candle wheezed, coughed and spluttered - The loudness of which gave a clue as too whether they needed to slow down. Eventually a tired Candle rolled into the car park and flopped into the back of his car. I can confirm that eventually he did manage to dress himself and head off under his own steam and in the right direction.
I noted on Facebook last night that he’d claimed he didn’t get over 10mph for the last five miles - don’t worry mate your secret’s safe with us - it was at least 10 miles!!!
As ever thanks to everyone else who made the ride so enjoyable and to the Patron for deciding the route and therefore how much we all suffered. All in all a top day out and hopefully we’ll get to do it all again next week.
Sunday 8 April 2012
Saturday 31 March 2012
Godfather of the Beast 31/03/12
Cast - Lantern, Chrissy, Vino, Robbo, Bri, Ronnie, Patron
Find more Bike Ride in Ellesmere
Off the Back - 31/03/12 - It’ll be an easy one this week lads……..
Thanks to Chris working nights the lads had a bit of a lie in this weekend not needing to be on parade until 10am. Carl, Ron, Chris and the Lantern duly signed in at chez e Patron. A slight, road works enforced, detour was the only action on the way to Chirk where the group met up with Matinee and Brian the beast making a welcome return.
The pace was brisk but steady on the run up to Glyn Ceiriog and didn’t seem to slacken much as the peleton passed up through the village and on towards Pandy. The Lantern, much like last week, slid off the back. The group swung left onto the first climb of the day; the Granddaddy of the beast. Despite being in a different county by then the Lantern, by sheer luck, took the right turn off.
Well I imagine the rest of them pissed it up there but back at the back the Lantern was thinking some very dark thoughts. Christ it was steep!! Eventually he had to climb off and throw up, which seemed to revive him and somehow he rejoined his shivering colleagues at the top (no sun to bask in this week).
The road then went up and down like the Big Dipper before depositing the group in Llansillin. The group then followed this all the way to the B4396 (and you think I don’t do my research!!) which unfortunately for the Lantern meant going over another short, sharp leg stinger which everyone else sailed over.
At the aforementioned B4396 the group turned left and followed the road down to Pen-y-Bont where we turned right. Of course, as with all Patron routes, we had to go over another climb though again it was mercifully not to long or too steep. The Lantern was however too knackered to notice them passing through the lovely Bronhyddon Coppice before he was once again dropped on the run into Llansantffraid.
A quick jaunt through the village before the peleton turned right over the bridge to take their well established route to the café via Llanymynech and, if you are the Lantern at least, a lot of pain.
The pace was kept fairly high on the run to the café - special thanks to Matinee at this point for nearly causing the Lantern’s legs to melt.
The café in Maesbury was thankfully reached after a fairly brisk 40 miles.
After the café a slightly more, but only slightly, sedate pace was set on the way to Whittington where the peleton turned right to go on “Mad Jacks” road down to St Martins. Thankfully even the frisky foursome - Carl, Ron, Matinee & Brian were showing signs of slowing by now. Chris was starting to look as though he’d been on a ride (hats off as he was full of cold at Patron’s - or he could just be a good faker!!!) whilst the diesel that is the Patron rumbled on. At St Martins the group splintered with Matinee and Brian heading for home and the remaining five heading back for a well earned cuppa at café le Patron.
Another great ride but I wish my legs didn’t hurt all the way round. Not as hard as last week but still pretty tough. The Patron clocked it at 61 miles with over 2,600ft of climbing with a 16.3 average (not that the Lantern got that!!).
As always thanks to all that were out for another great day on the bike. Hopefully see you all next week.
Find more Bike Ride in Ellesmere
Off the Back - 31/03/12 - It’ll be an easy one this week lads……..
Thanks to Chris working nights the lads had a bit of a lie in this weekend not needing to be on parade until 10am. Carl, Ron, Chris and the Lantern duly signed in at chez e Patron. A slight, road works enforced, detour was the only action on the way to Chirk where the group met up with Matinee and Brian the beast making a welcome return.
The pace was brisk but steady on the run up to Glyn Ceiriog and didn’t seem to slacken much as the peleton passed up through the village and on towards Pandy. The Lantern, much like last week, slid off the back. The group swung left onto the first climb of the day; the Granddaddy of the beast. Despite being in a different county by then the Lantern, by sheer luck, took the right turn off.
Well I imagine the rest of them pissed it up there but back at the back the Lantern was thinking some very dark thoughts. Christ it was steep!! Eventually he had to climb off and throw up, which seemed to revive him and somehow he rejoined his shivering colleagues at the top (no sun to bask in this week).
The road then went up and down like the Big Dipper before depositing the group in Llansillin. The group then followed this all the way to the B4396 (and you think I don’t do my research!!) which unfortunately for the Lantern meant going over another short, sharp leg stinger which everyone else sailed over.
At the aforementioned B4396 the group turned left and followed the road down to Pen-y-Bont where we turned right. Of course, as with all Patron routes, we had to go over another climb though again it was mercifully not to long or too steep. The Lantern was however too knackered to notice them passing through the lovely Bronhyddon Coppice before he was once again dropped on the run into Llansantffraid.
A quick jaunt through the village before the peleton turned right over the bridge to take their well established route to the café via Llanymynech and, if you are the Lantern at least, a lot of pain.
The pace was kept fairly high on the run to the café - special thanks to Matinee at this point for nearly causing the Lantern’s legs to melt.
The café in Maesbury was thankfully reached after a fairly brisk 40 miles.
After the café a slightly more, but only slightly, sedate pace was set on the way to Whittington where the peleton turned right to go on “Mad Jacks” road down to St Martins. Thankfully even the frisky foursome - Carl, Ron, Matinee & Brian were showing signs of slowing by now. Chris was starting to look as though he’d been on a ride (hats off as he was full of cold at Patron’s - or he could just be a good faker!!!) whilst the diesel that is the Patron rumbled on. At St Martins the group splintered with Matinee and Brian heading for home and the remaining five heading back for a well earned cuppa at café le Patron.
Another great ride but I wish my legs didn’t hurt all the way round. Not as hard as last week but still pretty tough. The Patron clocked it at 61 miles with over 2,600ft of climbing with a 16.3 average (not that the Lantern got that!!).
As always thanks to all that were out for another great day on the bike. Hopefully see you all next week.
Monday 26 March 2012
Blaenau back breaker
Up for it - Robbo, Lantern, Patron, Vino, Chrissy and Ronnie.
'Off the back' will hopefully follow as soon as the Lantern has been de-fibrillated for a third time
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Off the Back - 25/03/12 - Slate & Sore Legs
In his own inimitable style the patron paid no heed to the hour going forward and called for a 9am depart in Bala (personally I think he did it deliberately). Only the Rhostyllen wreckin’ crew of Al, Chris & Ron; the Matinee Idol; Carl “the whippet” Jones and the grumbling lantern turned up for the off.
The problem this time of year is its difficult to know what to wear (especially as Milan fashion week hasn’t been yet). The brave Matinee and the Lantern opted for shorts but only the Lantern went for the full sub-zero Antarctic neoprene over shoes option. Would he pay for this as the day warmed up?
Out of Bala, a quick left turn and we were already on the first climb of the day taking the back road that snaked up, over the rolling hills and then round the lake before recrossing the main Bala - Trawsfynydd road. The lantern was already being distanced by this point as the mountain gazelles sped off up the road with only the ever watchful patron “keeping an eye on the lad” whilst trusty sidekick Chris rode shotgun.
Across the main road the group snaked up and over (but mostly up) before plunging down towards Ffestiniog where the Lantern was once again distanced. The day was starting to warm up and it was shaping up to be a hot one; steam was by now starting to seep from the Lantern’s overshoes.
Once through Ffestiniog the group rode to Blaenau and prepared for the ascent of the Crimea. The Lantern having been somewhat distanced now even by the apparently not ever watchful patron took in the sights of Blaenau’s slag heaps and concluded it was even more f**ked than he was.
Up the road prey was sighted on the Crimea and Carl was dutifully dispatched to reel him in which he did with aplomb. Matinee and Ron followed over the top with Chris and Patron a little way behind. You may not be surprised to learn that the Lantern had been distanced on the climb and rode solo down the other side all the way to Betws. Thankfully the tardy waitress service meant the rest of the group had only just been served by the time he arrived. The Lantern flopped down and immediately fogged up Patron‘s Oakleys with the steam from his overshoes!!
Suitably refreshed the group set off up the A5 before turning off at Ysbyty Ifan. Amazingly the Lantern wasn’t distanced during this pull up the A5 but only because the rest of the group took pity on him and he worked pretty hard for a fatty!
The early part of the ascent from Ysbyty is not too bad and even the Lantern kept the rest in sight. Carl twiddled along slightly off the front until he fell off whilst watching a bird (of the feathered variety). This unscheduled stop allowed the Lantern to catch up before everyone splintered as people took the climb at their own pace. The Lantern’s was pretty slow but thankfully the sun was out so the lads were able to work on their tans whilst waiting for him to arrive. They where able to chart his progress by the steam of cloud enveloping him from his overshoes.
Eventually the group rejoined the Trawsfynydd-Bala road. The agreed aim was to keep the Lantern on board who by this stage was looking like a stunned herring. As things are wont to do with the Crapis things did not go exactly to plan. Somewhere whilst going around Llyn Celyn Ron managed to get a gap on the bunch. Chris led the chase with the Lantern somewhat exposed in second wheel.
Eventually the moment of truth arrived and Chris flicked his arm. The Lantern surged past onto the front (I may have exaggerated this somewhat) and did a massive turn on the front that re-energised the chase (I have definitely exaggerated this!!) before passing through the bunch faster than a Madras passing through the Patron to slide off the back.
Subsequent reports were that Ron buried himself (he disputes this claim) but was still caught. After that I’m a bit hazy but suffice to say the lads arrived back at the cars a good 10, alright 15, minutes before the spent Lantern whose overshoes by now resembled a Chinese laundry..
A knackering day and everyone claimed to be tired afterwards. Hats off to Carl (and not just for giving me a lift) who seemed to be on a very good day.
As always thanks to the rest of the lads for making it an enjoyable (in retrospect anyway) day out and for not grumbling too much when I held them up. I would say hope to see you all next week but as I’m writing this after next week’s ride it’d be a bit pointless.
Epic ride and as Max Boyce would say “I was there” and as he wouldn’t say “miles behind the others”!
'Off the back' will hopefully follow as soon as the Lantern has been de-fibrillated for a third time
Find more Bike Ride in Bala
Off the Back - 25/03/12 - Slate & Sore Legs
In his own inimitable style the patron paid no heed to the hour going forward and called for a 9am depart in Bala (personally I think he did it deliberately). Only the Rhostyllen wreckin’ crew of Al, Chris & Ron; the Matinee Idol; Carl “the whippet” Jones and the grumbling lantern turned up for the off.
The problem this time of year is its difficult to know what to wear (especially as Milan fashion week hasn’t been yet). The brave Matinee and the Lantern opted for shorts but only the Lantern went for the full sub-zero Antarctic neoprene over shoes option. Would he pay for this as the day warmed up?
Out of Bala, a quick left turn and we were already on the first climb of the day taking the back road that snaked up, over the rolling hills and then round the lake before recrossing the main Bala - Trawsfynydd road. The lantern was already being distanced by this point as the mountain gazelles sped off up the road with only the ever watchful patron “keeping an eye on the lad” whilst trusty sidekick Chris rode shotgun.
Across the main road the group snaked up and over (but mostly up) before plunging down towards Ffestiniog where the Lantern was once again distanced. The day was starting to warm up and it was shaping up to be a hot one; steam was by now starting to seep from the Lantern’s overshoes.
Once through Ffestiniog the group rode to Blaenau and prepared for the ascent of the Crimea. The Lantern having been somewhat distanced now even by the apparently not ever watchful patron took in the sights of Blaenau’s slag heaps and concluded it was even more f**ked than he was.
Up the road prey was sighted on the Crimea and Carl was dutifully dispatched to reel him in which he did with aplomb. Matinee and Ron followed over the top with Chris and Patron a little way behind. You may not be surprised to learn that the Lantern had been distanced on the climb and rode solo down the other side all the way to Betws. Thankfully the tardy waitress service meant the rest of the group had only just been served by the time he arrived. The Lantern flopped down and immediately fogged up Patron‘s Oakleys with the steam from his overshoes!!
Suitably refreshed the group set off up the A5 before turning off at Ysbyty Ifan. Amazingly the Lantern wasn’t distanced during this pull up the A5 but only because the rest of the group took pity on him and he worked pretty hard for a fatty!
The early part of the ascent from Ysbyty is not too bad and even the Lantern kept the rest in sight. Carl twiddled along slightly off the front until he fell off whilst watching a bird (of the feathered variety). This unscheduled stop allowed the Lantern to catch up before everyone splintered as people took the climb at their own pace. The Lantern’s was pretty slow but thankfully the sun was out so the lads were able to work on their tans whilst waiting for him to arrive. They where able to chart his progress by the steam of cloud enveloping him from his overshoes.
Eventually the group rejoined the Trawsfynydd-Bala road. The agreed aim was to keep the Lantern on board who by this stage was looking like a stunned herring. As things are wont to do with the Crapis things did not go exactly to plan. Somewhere whilst going around Llyn Celyn Ron managed to get a gap on the bunch. Chris led the chase with the Lantern somewhat exposed in second wheel.
Eventually the moment of truth arrived and Chris flicked his arm. The Lantern surged past onto the front (I may have exaggerated this somewhat) and did a massive turn on the front that re-energised the chase (I have definitely exaggerated this!!) before passing through the bunch faster than a Madras passing through the Patron to slide off the back.
Subsequent reports were that Ron buried himself (he disputes this claim) but was still caught. After that I’m a bit hazy but suffice to say the lads arrived back at the cars a good 10, alright 15, minutes before the spent Lantern whose overshoes by now resembled a Chinese laundry..
A knackering day and everyone claimed to be tired afterwards. Hats off to Carl (and not just for giving me a lift) who seemed to be on a very good day.
As always thanks to the rest of the lads for making it an enjoyable (in retrospect anyway) day out and for not grumbling too much when I held them up. I would say hope to see you all next week but as I’m writing this after next week’s ride it’d be a bit pointless.
Epic ride and as Max Boyce would say “I was there” and as he wouldn’t say “miles behind the others”!
Sunday 11 March 2012
Saturday 3 March 2012
Sunday 26 February 2012
Sunday 19 February 2012
Saturday 18th Feb
Copy and paste this link to view Ed's comparative Garmin stats for those who started and finished in Wrexham. http://connect.garmin.com/activity/150438674
Off the Back - 18/02/12 - Off the pace….and then some!!
The weather was hardly ideal conditions for cycling as the Crapis gathered at the Patron’s door. The weather was decidedly chilly and the rain started just as Chris, Ron, Mark, Cabbage, Ed (making a welcome return) & the Lantern awaited the Patron. Bedecked in his T-mobile peaked cap I couldn’t help but think he bore a striking resemblance to Jan Ulrich (during the off season obviously!!).
The group trundled off towards the scheduled meet with Roger and Matinee. Very very early on the Lantern noticed that his somewhat meagre energy supplies were perhaps not what they could be. His sorry carcass was off the back on the way up to the A5 from Newbridge. This did not bode well.
The rain was by now pelting it down and the wind-chill made for a cold ride. Not a day to endear yourself to the peleton by making them stand around waiting for you……
After picking up Roger & Matinee the group rode up through Western Rhyn (guess who was off the back again…….) and on towards Oswestry where there was just time for the Lantern to receive one of Matinee’s pep talks “Just try harder” before progress was halted by traffic lights.
Those who’d been to France should have realised a red light was nothing to the lantern as he bunny hopped the pavement and disappeared round the corner. With the Patron’s words of encouragement ringing in his ears “Don’t blame me if you get hit by a car you dick” the Lantern set about minimising the standing around time for the others by getting a jump on the Trefonen climb.
He made it to the top of the first drag before Ron, Ed, Matinee, Craig, Chris et al whizzed past like he was standing still. Six gel offers made up his made and he stopped for another (his third of the ride!! - the spirit of Coppi lives on!!). After what seemed like an eternity (and probably did to the rest of the peleton to) the Lantern made it to the top of Blodwell.
Matinee took on the pace at the bottom on the run down to Lynclys crossroads with the Lantern jumping on his wheel (remarkably it didn’t buckle!!). The usual happened with the Lantern desperately trying to hold his wheel before finally giving up only to discover there was no one behind him.
After the crossroads it was a fairly sedates ride to the café where the Lantern gratefully collapsed in a steaming pile.
After the café it was a fairly sedate ride back to Wrexham with Mark joining the Lantern in the Broom wagon along the way. No afternoon tea this week as everyone was cold and wet so it was a swift depart with both Mark and Ed stating they hoped to be out the following week.
Apologies for the complete implosion on the ride guys and, as a consequence, the fact that there’s not a lot about what went on near the front of the peleton!! Thought Ed was looking good but not sure about the “no mudguards” option he was favouring. Ron & Matinee looked good as ever, Craig loves a hill, Mark has no sense of pacing himself (lol only joking) and Chris never looks like he’s trying (even when he’s f**ked). The patron was closest to me today and he looked great (BTW cheers for sorting my chain Al!!!).
Hopefully see you all next week and hopefully I’ll be much much better than I was this week.
Saturday 28 January 2012
28th January 2012 - A quartet of crapis
The lowest turn-out for many a week took a jaunt along the A5 to Corwen, where a breakfast meeting with Mike was scheduled for 10.30am. “Is this it?” enquired Robbo, as he surveyed the dynamic duo of Ronnie and Patron at the Whitehurst meeting point. Further enquiries revealed that Chrissy was full of cold and Cabbage was a no-show. Mark had broken a shifter mid-week (doesn’t know his own strength that boy), Vino was enjoying apres-ski in some exotic Alpine retreat, Lamby was on granddad duty, whilst International man of mystery Craig was said to be undertaking a critical diplomatic mission somewhere in the Far East. Coppi is still convalescing and is now nursing a newly diagnosed broken collar bone and shoulder, whilst an eleventh hour sick note text from Lantern was predictably received shortly before kick-off, despite daily assurances to the contrary all week.
The motley triumvirate made steady progress through Llan until the Patron’s engine warning light came on shortly before the drag up past Berwyn station. A quick roadside diagnostic check (don’t ask where we had to plug it in) revealed a lack of power to the two main engines, with a rogue can of a well known brand of deodorant being the likely culprit. I know, it’s a long story, better ask him when you see him.................
Mike was patiently waiting the arrival of the grupetto in Corwen, where all four tucked into a full breakfast and mug of tea for under a fiver. Ronnie looked happy....
Shortly after leaving Corwen, we caught up with a tractor doing what tractors do best – causing bad tempers, long queues of irate drivers and general carnage on the road behind them. A bit like cyclists really. Downhill sections saw us easily catch the shit spreading ship of the vale and its rosy cheeked captain, only for it to tauntingly pull away from us on the drags. At the foot of the butterfly hill Ronnie had clearly had enough, and launched a last ditch attempt to get into the Massey’s slip stream for a free tow uphill, closely followed by Robbo. A few minutes later, the grinning pair were at the crest of the hill celebrating a 20mph average all the way up the drag. Cheers farmer.
Mike peeled off at Berwyn to get in some quality climbing over the shoe on the way back to Ruthin, and Robbo bid farewell to Ronnie and Patron at Chirk. Hopefully the peloton will be restored to some semblance of order next week.
The motley triumvirate made steady progress through Llan until the Patron’s engine warning light came on shortly before the drag up past Berwyn station. A quick roadside diagnostic check (don’t ask where we had to plug it in) revealed a lack of power to the two main engines, with a rogue can of a well known brand of deodorant being the likely culprit. I know, it’s a long story, better ask him when you see him.................
Mike was patiently waiting the arrival of the grupetto in Corwen, where all four tucked into a full breakfast and mug of tea for under a fiver. Ronnie looked happy....
Shortly after leaving Corwen, we caught up with a tractor doing what tractors do best – causing bad tempers, long queues of irate drivers and general carnage on the road behind them. A bit like cyclists really. Downhill sections saw us easily catch the shit spreading ship of the vale and its rosy cheeked captain, only for it to tauntingly pull away from us on the drags. At the foot of the butterfly hill Ronnie had clearly had enough, and launched a last ditch attempt to get into the Massey’s slip stream for a free tow uphill, closely followed by Robbo. A few minutes later, the grinning pair were at the crest of the hill celebrating a 20mph average all the way up the drag. Cheers farmer.
Mike peeled off at Berwyn to get in some quality climbing over the shoe on the way back to Ruthin, and Robbo bid farewell to Ronnie and Patron at Chirk. Hopefully the peloton will be restored to some semblance of order next week.
Friday 27 January 2012
21/01/12 - OTB - The Patron Returns - Winter Pace Still Missing!!
The Patron, fully revived after a week of coughing his lungs up, restored the traditional 9am start for a “gentle” (his word) ride out to Maesbury.
Reporting for duty were Chris, Ron, Candle and the Lantern. The peleton set out for a meeting with Matinee, Roger & Brian the Beast at Moreton Garden Centre. After collecting the said motley bunch, the peleton set off through Western Rhyn. The somewhat benign base to Oswestry gave no hint of the carnage to come. Upon entering Oswestry the Patron, true to his character, eschewed the easy options and called for a right turn to allow Craig and Robbo to test themselves on 39x25 ascent of Racecourse hill
Soon the air was rent by the sounds of middle aged, rotund (and that’s just the fit buggers!!) cyclists wheezing their way up the climb. The Lantern took up his usual position somewhere off the back and the Patron rode station some 100 yards ahead, rather light a wartime destroyer escorting a ponderous bulk carrier across the Atlantic.
After a short rest at the top the Lantern thought he must be hallucinating as he could have sworn the Patron’s next suggested route was to head up the Beast and then turn right halfway up to come out in Trefonen. No, he must have heard that wrong……
F**king gentle ride my a**e thought the Lantern as the peleton barrelled along to the bottom of the Beast and then splintered mightily on the climb with Chris apparently eager to animate things at the front of the race (or so a certain 1950’s style movie idol told me).
Whilst Chris was labouring to repair the Candle’s mud guard which now included a cut out section (on the plus side you couldn’t here his approach from 2 miles away anymore) the Patron was attempting to keep both Ron and the Lantern in sight. No easy feat unless you’re cross eyed. The Lantern managed to catch up just as the final climb levelled out. True to form Ron then swept past the turning despite the Patron’s words “Take the next left Ron” still ringing in his ears.
At the bottom of Blodwell the peleton reconvened and Matinee suggested we all stick together on the run down to the café. Quite why he then decided to time trial down to the crossroads was anybody’s guess. Never mind thought the Lantern we’re bound to take the short route to the café today……
Once over the crossroads things went a bit Pete Tong as Matinee, Craig and initially Brian and Ron put the hammer down to about 35mph. Unsurprising the peleton split faster than a fat bird’s knickers doing the twist. The result was that Matinee and Craig screamed off up the road and missed the short cut turn off for the café. As a result they were last to arrive.
After refreshment the Matinee was somewhat perturbed that his plan to go back up the side of the racecourse had been voted down. For once it wasn’t the Lantern that spoke his mind but he certainly didn’t object to the change of route.
The peleton now headed towards Whittington, via the by now almost obligatory piss stop (why they didn’t go at the café lord only knows) and Brian led the bunch towards Gobowen.
The group then trundled back up towards Western Rhyn. By now cracks were starting to appear in the peleton once again. The Lantern was joined off the back by Brian and the Candle who appeared to be taking a breather.
By Chirk Bank the Lantern was suffering and that continued up the Tally Ho and back home. Sitting in Patron’s Transport Café afterwards Chris, Ron and the Patron all agreed it had been a hard ride. Funny how every ride for the last few weeks has ended with bodies strewn about the lanes, heartfelt endorsements to any statement about the pace being too high and yet I guarantee you next week no one (well no one apart from me and I don’t count) will suggest going any slower.
Another hard yet ultimately enjoyable ride but I for one won’t mind if you take things a little slower next week guys!!!
Reporting for duty were Chris, Ron, Candle and the Lantern. The peleton set out for a meeting with Matinee, Roger & Brian the Beast at Moreton Garden Centre. After collecting the said motley bunch, the peleton set off through Western Rhyn. The somewhat benign base to Oswestry gave no hint of the carnage to come. Upon entering Oswestry the Patron, true to his character, eschewed the easy options and called for a right turn to allow Craig and Robbo to test themselves on 39x25 ascent of Racecourse hill
Soon the air was rent by the sounds of middle aged, rotund (and that’s just the fit buggers!!) cyclists wheezing their way up the climb. The Lantern took up his usual position somewhere off the back and the Patron rode station some 100 yards ahead, rather light a wartime destroyer escorting a ponderous bulk carrier across the Atlantic.
After a short rest at the top the Lantern thought he must be hallucinating as he could have sworn the Patron’s next suggested route was to head up the Beast and then turn right halfway up to come out in Trefonen. No, he must have heard that wrong……
F**king gentle ride my a**e thought the Lantern as the peleton barrelled along to the bottom of the Beast and then splintered mightily on the climb with Chris apparently eager to animate things at the front of the race (or so a certain 1950’s style movie idol told me).
Whilst Chris was labouring to repair the Candle’s mud guard which now included a cut out section (on the plus side you couldn’t here his approach from 2 miles away anymore) the Patron was attempting to keep both Ron and the Lantern in sight. No easy feat unless you’re cross eyed. The Lantern managed to catch up just as the final climb levelled out. True to form Ron then swept past the turning despite the Patron’s words “Take the next left Ron” still ringing in his ears.
At the bottom of Blodwell the peleton reconvened and Matinee suggested we all stick together on the run down to the café. Quite why he then decided to time trial down to the crossroads was anybody’s guess. Never mind thought the Lantern we’re bound to take the short route to the café today……
Once over the crossroads things went a bit Pete Tong as Matinee, Craig and initially Brian and Ron put the hammer down to about 35mph. Unsurprising the peleton split faster than a fat bird’s knickers doing the twist. The result was that Matinee and Craig screamed off up the road and missed the short cut turn off for the café. As a result they were last to arrive.
After refreshment the Matinee was somewhat perturbed that his plan to go back up the side of the racecourse had been voted down. For once it wasn’t the Lantern that spoke his mind but he certainly didn’t object to the change of route.
The peleton now headed towards Whittington, via the by now almost obligatory piss stop (why they didn’t go at the café lord only knows) and Brian led the bunch towards Gobowen.
The group then trundled back up towards Western Rhyn. By now cracks were starting to appear in the peleton once again. The Lantern was joined off the back by Brian and the Candle who appeared to be taking a breather.
By Chirk Bank the Lantern was suffering and that continued up the Tally Ho and back home. Sitting in Patron’s Transport Café afterwards Chris, Ron and the Patron all agreed it had been a hard ride. Funny how every ride for the last few weeks has ended with bodies strewn about the lanes, heartfelt endorsements to any statement about the pace being too high and yet I guarantee you next week no one (well no one apart from me and I don’t count) will suggest going any slower.
Another hard yet ultimately enjoyable ride but I for one won’t mind if you take things a little slower next week guys!!!
Saturday 21 January 2012
Tuesday 17 January 2012
OTB - 14/01/12 - A Foggy Day in Shropshire
Two developments on the morning of the ride; one a major surprise the other maybe not so much. The Lantern arrived at the car park by the Patron’s to find Roger Whitaker whistling tunelessly & the Candle almost dressed. “Hmm maybe they have turned over a new leaf” he thought. This was immediately dispelled by Candle’s opening line saying he’d forgotten his overshoes (only the coldest ride for about 10 months). A text to Patron (he’s bound to have a spare set!!) elicited the shock news that the Candle could use his as he was full of cold and wouldn’t be joining us (later betting was suspended when odds reached 5-4 on, that he’d go out “Just for an hour you know” on his own on Sunday).
So leaderless the peloton of Vino (muffled up like Scott of the Antarctic), Chris, Ron, Roger, Candle and Lantern set off. Somewhere by the bridge over the A483 Cabbage caught up, and was nice enough not to mention we’d fecked off without him.
The Candle set a brisk pace up from Newbridge towards the A5 whilst Chris indulged his bike porn fetish by quizzing Roger about his proposed new steed. It was later commented that if his bike gets any more high tech, Team GB are going to be increasing their gold medal prospects and Brad Wiggins will be out of a job.
Matinee was collected and, after consulting with Chris, it was quickly decided we’d climb up to Trefonen and down Blodwell on the way to the café. Willy’s were non too discreetly waved on the drag up to Trefonen (not at all, lazy arse Lantern just wasn't trying hard enough - Ed) whilst Carl paced himself (as I’ve said before hats off for coming out with the lads and then racing on a Sunday!!)Candle & the Lantern at the rear.
The Candle was still feeling the effects of his night out/late night when he somehow failed to see either Roger’s rear wheel or a**e just above it (I suspect he may have fallen asleep on his bike!!). Once at the bottom of Blodwell, Robbo and Chris decreed to turn right and go through Llansantffraid and Llanymynech. “It looks a bit foggy” the Lantern thought. Ten minutes later the peleton was cycling through frozen fog that resembled a real pea-souper from old London town. All traffic appearing out of the gloom had a man with a red flag walking in front of them.
Matinee and a few hardy others had a piss stop, whilst those with stronger bladders keep a steady pace to keep warm. The group came back together in Llanymynech. The Candle hit the front here, only to be overtaken quickly by a fast moving Chris who was followed by the equally flying Ron. Ron peeled off and the Candle hit the front, only for Matinee to pile past. “Don’t let him go on the front” the Lantern wailed. Matinee slowly turned the screw on the way to the Knockin junction. A mere 50 yards from the junction (which to be fair you couldn’t see in the fog) the Candle pulled off & looked like Jens Voight after an epic turn on the front (i.e. absolutely f**ked!!). The Lantern held on as he knew the road a bit better, but the hurt had been put on and no mistake, and he cursed Robbo on the road to Maesbury.
After some lovely soup at Maesbury cafe, the group got back on the bikes and all agreed the temperature had now reached “f**king freezing”. After stopping for a team photo (coming to a website near you - is it just me or has the Candle got a Beyonce arse thing going on in the photos?).
Carl, maybe due to impending frostbite, hit the front and ramped the pace up on the way down to Whittington. This left the Lantern with the task of leading the bunch out of Whittington and up towards Gobowen. Jesus I hate that stretch of road!! Anyway the task was accomplished without too much sniggering.
After bidding farewell to Robbo at Gledrid, the peloton fractured on the ride back to Rhostyllen. Cabbage and Ron went off the front followed by Roger and Vino, leaving Chris to shepherd home the Lantern and the Candle.
The Patron put in an appearance whilst the lads were loading up the cars to go home to check on his brood. Overall not as fast as last week but still a hard ride and at 54 miles longish for a winter outing. Once the extremities had thawed out it was definitely better than last week for me (but not for a couple of others…) & looking forward to getting out next week.
Thanks as always to the rest of you for making it an enjoyable, if somewhat chilly, ride. Hope to see as many as possible next weekend.
So leaderless the peloton of Vino (muffled up like Scott of the Antarctic), Chris, Ron, Roger, Candle and Lantern set off. Somewhere by the bridge over the A483 Cabbage caught up, and was nice enough not to mention we’d fecked off without him.
The Candle set a brisk pace up from Newbridge towards the A5 whilst Chris indulged his bike porn fetish by quizzing Roger about his proposed new steed. It was later commented that if his bike gets any more high tech, Team GB are going to be increasing their gold medal prospects and Brad Wiggins will be out of a job.
Matinee was collected and, after consulting with Chris, it was quickly decided we’d climb up to Trefonen and down Blodwell on the way to the café. Willy’s were non too discreetly waved on the drag up to Trefonen (not at all, lazy arse Lantern just wasn't trying hard enough - Ed) whilst Carl paced himself (as I’ve said before hats off for coming out with the lads and then racing on a Sunday!!)Candle & the Lantern at the rear.
The Candle was still feeling the effects of his night out/late night when he somehow failed to see either Roger’s rear wheel or a**e just above it (I suspect he may have fallen asleep on his bike!!). Once at the bottom of Blodwell, Robbo and Chris decreed to turn right and go through Llansantffraid and Llanymynech. “It looks a bit foggy” the Lantern thought. Ten minutes later the peleton was cycling through frozen fog that resembled a real pea-souper from old London town. All traffic appearing out of the gloom had a man with a red flag walking in front of them.
Matinee and a few hardy others had a piss stop, whilst those with stronger bladders keep a steady pace to keep warm. The group came back together in Llanymynech. The Candle hit the front here, only to be overtaken quickly by a fast moving Chris who was followed by the equally flying Ron. Ron peeled off and the Candle hit the front, only for Matinee to pile past. “Don’t let him go on the front” the Lantern wailed. Matinee slowly turned the screw on the way to the Knockin junction. A mere 50 yards from the junction (which to be fair you couldn’t see in the fog) the Candle pulled off & looked like Jens Voight after an epic turn on the front (i.e. absolutely f**ked!!). The Lantern held on as he knew the road a bit better, but the hurt had been put on and no mistake, and he cursed Robbo on the road to Maesbury.
After some lovely soup at Maesbury cafe, the group got back on the bikes and all agreed the temperature had now reached “f**king freezing”. After stopping for a team photo (coming to a website near you - is it just me or has the Candle got a Beyonce arse thing going on in the photos?).
Carl, maybe due to impending frostbite, hit the front and ramped the pace up on the way down to Whittington. This left the Lantern with the task of leading the bunch out of Whittington and up towards Gobowen. Jesus I hate that stretch of road!! Anyway the task was accomplished without too much sniggering.
After bidding farewell to Robbo at Gledrid, the peloton fractured on the ride back to Rhostyllen. Cabbage and Ron went off the front followed by Roger and Vino, leaving Chris to shepherd home the Lantern and the Candle.
The Patron put in an appearance whilst the lads were loading up the cars to go home to check on his brood. Overall not as fast as last week but still a hard ride and at 54 miles longish for a winter outing. Once the extremities had thawed out it was definitely better than last week for me (but not for a couple of others…) & looking forward to getting out next week.
Thanks as always to the rest of you for making it an enjoyable, if somewhat chilly, ride. Hope to see as many as possible next weekend.
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