Ian, Mike and Craig completed the 2011 Wild Wales Challenge.
The route seemed to go up every steep hill in the area and some new roads found for the crapi's to ride in the future.
Maybe a full Crapi Peleton outing next year.
Monday 29 August 2011
Sunday 28 August 2011
Long mountain route to Welshpool
75 miles, present and correct - Robbo, Vino, Chrissy, Patron, Ronnie, Rocket, Beast and Gareth.
Unfortunately, I've no idea how we got from Knockin to Welshpool, and all attempts at tracing the precise route on 'map my ride' have failed. We'll be relying on the only person who actually knows the exact route (Patron) to map it for us.
Unfortunately, I've no idea how we got from Knockin to Welshpool, and all attempts at tracing the precise route on 'map my ride' have failed. We'll be relying on the only person who actually knows the exact route (Patron) to map it for us.
Friday 26 August 2011
Wild west heroes
Good luck to Crapiwheelers Lantern, Candle and Craig in this Sunday's Wild Wales challenge.
Sunday 21 August 2011
Matinee’s Mystery Tour - 20/08/11
With the Patron still doing his Jim Royle impression in Barmouth, it was left to the Matinee Idol to organise the weekly crapifest. Chris, Ron, Candle and the Lantern met in Rhostyllen. All Matinee had said was to meet him at Whitehurst at 9.30 for a ride with climbing in the first half and a flat second. Ronnie quizzed the others for information; Lantern knew the route but was sworn to secrecy. Ronnie said “I’ve no idea where we’re going today; I can’t think”. Lantern reflected that had the route been a circuit of Rhostyllen Ron would probably have uttered something similar.
The mini peleton set off and reached Whitehurst without incident. The Lantern took the time to casually mention to Ron all the training he’d been doing and how fast he’d gone. How the words would come back to haunt him…….
Matinee turned up with his next door neighbour, the soon to be christened Brian the Beast, complete with tattoos and a shiny Cannondale. Having recently turned to road biking after mountain biking it would be interesting to see how he fitted into the crapi peleton. Just fine seemed to be the answer as he displayed Ron-like tendencies to up the pace at the first sign of an incline in the road. After barely hanging onto his wheel through Llan the Lantern was pleased to hear Matinee impersonate the Patron and tell Brian to “Knock it back a bit”.
The group hit the bottom of the Horseshoe and the first real test of the day, The Candle set off at a brisk pace (which he paid for later in the ride….) and Chris, Matinee, Ron and Brian rode up together. Meanwhile back at the back, the Lantern was regretting those rash words of daring do to Ron earlier as his legs screamed as he trundled up the climb. Jesus he hadn’t felt like this for at least a week and a half.
Eventually puffing like a steam locomotive on its last dregs of stream he crested the final rise to be confronted by most of the peleton emerging from the bogs at the Ponderosa. “Christ” he thought “not even the FDI needs a piss stop that early”.
The peleton then made quick time down the main drag to Ruthin pausing only once when it sounded like the Beast had broken his bike. Thankfully this was not the case and the boys piled into the café stop in Ruthin. Brian’s hard man image, already under pressure from his friendly demeanour, was dealt a further blow when his mobile went off revealing his ring tone to be “Build Me Up Buttercup" (or something similar).
After refreshment the group headed towards the Clwyd Gate climb with the Lantern on the front - he figured it’d be his last chance for a while. Near the bottom of the climb the group swung left onto the dreaded Bwlch Pen barras climb. Steep is the first word that springs to mind. The Lantern avoided being first off but only because Brian was much further up the road and therefore on the steepest part. The Lantern pulled on his bars at an inopportune moment; i.e. when he had no forward momentum, and pulled a wheelie, spun 180 degrees and only narrowly avoided careering back down the climb. He ruefully thought “Now I know why Robbie McEwen always waited till the top…!!!” When he eventually reached the top it was many minutes before he could speak again!
A quick blast on the main road back towards Ruthin and the peleton turned left for Llanarmon, then after a couple of miles turned left to go up the Eryrys climb. Having climbed; or rather walked, this climb with Matinee before the Lantern was aware of the 17% hairpin and was somewhat amazed to get to the top of it still on his bike.
From here the group headed onwards; descending the Llanfynydd climb which Ron had flown up the week before, and descending down towards Cefn y Bedd. Here we had a bit of drama as Matinee claimed to have had a near miss with someone’s water bottle, riding straight over it with his back wheel. No one was missing any bottles so the peleton dismissed him as a paranoid fantasist, crossed the road and headed for Llay. Thankfully eagle eyed Ronnie noticed the Candle was missing a saddle bag. A halt was called whilst he went off to look for his bag. Reports that it resembled fresh road kill when he located it after Matinee barrelling over it remain, at time of going to press, unconfirmed.
Down to Rossett and on towards Holt the peleton sped. The Lantern took the time to ponder a few thoughts. Namely:
Was it merely the fact that Vino wasn’t there that was causing Ronnie to turn off the testosterone? N.B. That’s not to say he didn’t try and put the hurt on whenever he felt like it!! He has the attacking mindset of the absent Kazak!
Would anyone tell Brian when he peeled off the front he should drift to the back and not slot in second wheel for another go on the front?
Why did Chris keep putting in long turns on the front, look comfy on the climbs when he kept saying he was tired. The Lantern was tired and he wasn’t making any such foolish mistakes!!
After a water stop in Holt the group rode over to Bangor where the group split and the Lantern trailed back to Wrexham in the wake of the other three. Having felt below par all the way round with legs hurting badly on all the climbs he was somewhat taken aback by Ron saying it was the best he’d seen he go!!
After a quick chat with the Patron; back from Barmouth, who quickly filled the boys in on all his training whilst away, the group split to make their way home and avoid the drizzle.
As always it was pleasure to be out with everyone even if my legs did hurt all the way round. Brian impressed on his debut and I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of him in the peleton. The Lantern will be missing next week as the Candle has persuaded him to try the Wild Wales challenge before their Pyrenean adventure. Hopefully catch up with everybody the week after.
The mini peleton set off and reached Whitehurst without incident. The Lantern took the time to casually mention to Ron all the training he’d been doing and how fast he’d gone. How the words would come back to haunt him…….
Matinee turned up with his next door neighbour, the soon to be christened Brian the Beast, complete with tattoos and a shiny Cannondale. Having recently turned to road biking after mountain biking it would be interesting to see how he fitted into the crapi peleton. Just fine seemed to be the answer as he displayed Ron-like tendencies to up the pace at the first sign of an incline in the road. After barely hanging onto his wheel through Llan the Lantern was pleased to hear Matinee impersonate the Patron and tell Brian to “Knock it back a bit”.
The group hit the bottom of the Horseshoe and the first real test of the day, The Candle set off at a brisk pace (which he paid for later in the ride….) and Chris, Matinee, Ron and Brian rode up together. Meanwhile back at the back, the Lantern was regretting those rash words of daring do to Ron earlier as his legs screamed as he trundled up the climb. Jesus he hadn’t felt like this for at least a week and a half.
Eventually puffing like a steam locomotive on its last dregs of stream he crested the final rise to be confronted by most of the peleton emerging from the bogs at the Ponderosa. “Christ” he thought “not even the FDI needs a piss stop that early”.
The peleton then made quick time down the main drag to Ruthin pausing only once when it sounded like the Beast had broken his bike. Thankfully this was not the case and the boys piled into the café stop in Ruthin. Brian’s hard man image, already under pressure from his friendly demeanour, was dealt a further blow when his mobile went off revealing his ring tone to be “Build Me Up Buttercup" (or something similar).
After refreshment the group headed towards the Clwyd Gate climb with the Lantern on the front - he figured it’d be his last chance for a while. Near the bottom of the climb the group swung left onto the dreaded Bwlch Pen barras climb. Steep is the first word that springs to mind. The Lantern avoided being first off but only because Brian was much further up the road and therefore on the steepest part. The Lantern pulled on his bars at an inopportune moment; i.e. when he had no forward momentum, and pulled a wheelie, spun 180 degrees and only narrowly avoided careering back down the climb. He ruefully thought “Now I know why Robbie McEwen always waited till the top…!!!” When he eventually reached the top it was many minutes before he could speak again!
A quick blast on the main road back towards Ruthin and the peleton turned left for Llanarmon, then after a couple of miles turned left to go up the Eryrys climb. Having climbed; or rather walked, this climb with Matinee before the Lantern was aware of the 17% hairpin and was somewhat amazed to get to the top of it still on his bike.
From here the group headed onwards; descending the Llanfynydd climb which Ron had flown up the week before, and descending down towards Cefn y Bedd. Here we had a bit of drama as Matinee claimed to have had a near miss with someone’s water bottle, riding straight over it with his back wheel. No one was missing any bottles so the peleton dismissed him as a paranoid fantasist, crossed the road and headed for Llay. Thankfully eagle eyed Ronnie noticed the Candle was missing a saddle bag. A halt was called whilst he went off to look for his bag. Reports that it resembled fresh road kill when he located it after Matinee barrelling over it remain, at time of going to press, unconfirmed.
Down to Rossett and on towards Holt the peleton sped. The Lantern took the time to ponder a few thoughts. Namely:
Was it merely the fact that Vino wasn’t there that was causing Ronnie to turn off the testosterone? N.B. That’s not to say he didn’t try and put the hurt on whenever he felt like it!! He has the attacking mindset of the absent Kazak!
Would anyone tell Brian when he peeled off the front he should drift to the back and not slot in second wheel for another go on the front?
Why did Chris keep putting in long turns on the front, look comfy on the climbs when he kept saying he was tired. The Lantern was tired and he wasn’t making any such foolish mistakes!!
After a water stop in Holt the group rode over to Bangor where the group split and the Lantern trailed back to Wrexham in the wake of the other three. Having felt below par all the way round with legs hurting badly on all the climbs he was somewhat taken aback by Ron saying it was the best he’d seen he go!!
After a quick chat with the Patron; back from Barmouth, who quickly filled the boys in on all his training whilst away, the group split to make their way home and avoid the drizzle.
As always it was pleasure to be out with everyone even if my legs did hurt all the way round. Brian impressed on his debut and I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of him in the peleton. The Lantern will be missing next week as the Candle has persuaded him to try the Wild Wales challenge before their Pyrenean adventure. Hopefully catch up with everybody the week after.
Saturday 20 August 2011
Horseshoe pass, Moel Famau, Eryrys loop
Cast: Robbo, Chrissy, Ronnie, Mike, Lantern and newbie Brian. I'm hopeful that the Lantern will shortly be posting his own inimitable account of the day's events.
Saturday 13 August 2011
5 climbs for 3 crapis 13/08/11
A rather depleted peleton this week, as most of the Crapis had other commitments whilst others (Lantern) feared little in the way of clemency at the combined hands of Ronnie, Robbo and Vino. In the best Crapi tradition there was something for rouleurs, grimpeurs and puncheurs and the first 25 miles was covered at an average 20mph (well it was as flat as a witch's tit until we got to Rossett). That soon changed from Cefn Y Bedd as the climbs of Ffrwd, Llanfynydd-Llanarmon Yn Ial, The Shelf, Nant Y Garth and Horseshoe Pass came along in quick succession. Vino peeled off after the Nant Y Garth leaving Ronnie and Robbo to fight it out for bragging rights over the shoe and the pull along the A5.
Tuesday 9 August 2011
A Gentle Stroll - OTB 06/08/11
The prospect of a new ride & the chance to hear about Craig’s exploits in the Pyrenees ensured a healthy turnout at the Patron’s bang on 10am. Chris, Ron, Vino, Craig, FDI, Patron and the Lantern set off under grey skies to rendezvous with Matinee by Moreton Park Garden Centre.
Once the group had got up to compliment and the fashion police had assured Matinee that his sartorial elegance was once again without equal in the peleton the group set off for Oswestry.
For the first time in quite a while there was a sharp right turn and the group headed up the race course hill. Matinee and Craig thoughtfully keeping pace with the Lantern early on the climb so as to not discourage him too much. Ronnie sank to a new low as he sucked the Lantern’s wheel up the climb. Further down the hill FDI sucked his gel and tried to work out why he’d got out of bed.
The group then followed the road up the valley; ignoring their usual turning for the Beast, before turning right for a new climb. The climb was steady and somewhat below the brutal “rip your legs off” climbs encountered in recent weeks and both the FDI and the Lantern had sufficiently clear vision to enjoy the fantastic views along the way.
Indeed the only noteworthy event was the Patron breaking a spoke for what seemed like the three hundredth (incidentally the number of gels FDI has consumed this year) time this year. After some running repairs and some fluent Anglo Saxon the peleton soon found itself in Llansantffraid. Whilst going through the village Craig was heard to say “Ah I know where I am now”. Truly he is just a Garmin away from having Ronnie’s sense of direction.
Matinee pulled the group from Llan all the way to the left turn for Llanymynech before the FDI and the Lantern showed everyone how to ride on the front on the way to the café!!! Honoury mention to Chris for going through the traffic lights on red with barely a pause.
The Patron announced at the café stop that he didn’t want to go up the Old Racecourse hill on the way back as he didn’t want to risk the descent with his knackered spoke. FDI and the Lantern beamed like they’d won the Euro millions.
After the café it was a quick hop over the A5 and the group headed for Whittington. Here Rocket Ronnie lived up to his name and put the hammer down. When the Lantern looked round on the outskirts of Gobowen there was no one behind him. Clearly the group was not racing today.
The fairly short but a bugger when you’re tired stretch from Gobowen to the Outskirts of Western Rhyn were accomplished more or less as a group.
After saying goodbye to the best dressed matinee in the peleton it was over the aqueduct and round the back of Chirk for one last bit of pain. After that the group climbed the Tally Ho and regrouped in Ruabon where the Lantern thought about throwing himself under a car and earned the wrath of the Patron. As the original seven rode back to the Patron’s house Chris felt something was wrong and couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “I know its that we’re all riding back together rather than being in groups” he said. “Well that is what’s supposed to happen” was the Patron’s sardonic reply.
A quick cup of tea and that was the ride. Approx 59 miles in about a 16 average.
All in all a very enjoyable variation to the usual route and it was nice not to have my legs screaming at me for the second half of the ride. Thanks as always to everyone who made it an enjoyable day out and a special mention to Craig for his encouragement re the Pyrenees. “Its steep, no I mean its really steep…..my heart rate was 400 for 2 hours…..” and other such gems have bolstered the lantern’s resolve no end.
Oh and Craig’s most impressive feat in the Pyrenees - putting on weight whilst riding nearly everyday J
Hopefully see some or most of you next weekend to do it all over again.
Once the group had got up to compliment and the fashion police had assured Matinee that his sartorial elegance was once again without equal in the peleton the group set off for Oswestry.
For the first time in quite a while there was a sharp right turn and the group headed up the race course hill. Matinee and Craig thoughtfully keeping pace with the Lantern early on the climb so as to not discourage him too much. Ronnie sank to a new low as he sucked the Lantern’s wheel up the climb. Further down the hill FDI sucked his gel and tried to work out why he’d got out of bed.
The group then followed the road up the valley; ignoring their usual turning for the Beast, before turning right for a new climb. The climb was steady and somewhat below the brutal “rip your legs off” climbs encountered in recent weeks and both the FDI and the Lantern had sufficiently clear vision to enjoy the fantastic views along the way.
Indeed the only noteworthy event was the Patron breaking a spoke for what seemed like the three hundredth (incidentally the number of gels FDI has consumed this year) time this year. After some running repairs and some fluent Anglo Saxon the peleton soon found itself in Llansantffraid. Whilst going through the village Craig was heard to say “Ah I know where I am now”. Truly he is just a Garmin away from having Ronnie’s sense of direction.
Matinee pulled the group from Llan all the way to the left turn for Llanymynech before the FDI and the Lantern showed everyone how to ride on the front on the way to the café!!! Honoury mention to Chris for going through the traffic lights on red with barely a pause.
The Patron announced at the café stop that he didn’t want to go up the Old Racecourse hill on the way back as he didn’t want to risk the descent with his knackered spoke. FDI and the Lantern beamed like they’d won the Euro millions.
After the café it was a quick hop over the A5 and the group headed for Whittington. Here Rocket Ronnie lived up to his name and put the hammer down. When the Lantern looked round on the outskirts of Gobowen there was no one behind him. Clearly the group was not racing today.
The fairly short but a bugger when you’re tired stretch from Gobowen to the Outskirts of Western Rhyn were accomplished more or less as a group.
After saying goodbye to the best dressed matinee in the peleton it was over the aqueduct and round the back of Chirk for one last bit of pain. After that the group climbed the Tally Ho and regrouped in Ruabon where the Lantern thought about throwing himself under a car and earned the wrath of the Patron. As the original seven rode back to the Patron’s house Chris felt something was wrong and couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “I know its that we’re all riding back together rather than being in groups” he said. “Well that is what’s supposed to happen” was the Patron’s sardonic reply.
A quick cup of tea and that was the ride. Approx 59 miles in about a 16 average.
All in all a very enjoyable variation to the usual route and it was nice not to have my legs screaming at me for the second half of the ride. Thanks as always to everyone who made it an enjoyable day out and a special mention to Craig for his encouragement re the Pyrenees. “Its steep, no I mean its really steep…..my heart rate was 400 for 2 hours…..” and other such gems have bolstered the lantern’s resolve no end.
Oh and Craig’s most impressive feat in the Pyrenees - putting on weight whilst riding nearly everyday J
Hopefully see some or most of you next weekend to do it all over again.
Stop my legs have had enough - OTB 30/07/11
I know it sounds stupid with hindsight but the Lantern was really looking forward to today’s jaunt over to Pistyll Rhaeadr - it was years since the group had gone that way. Feeling somewhat frisky he, rashly as it turned out, decided to cycle down from Coedpoeth meeting up with Vino on the descent. The Lantern obviously wasn’t the only one that was keen as Chris, Ron and even the Candle appeared at the Patron’s before 9am. Mark turned up at 9am on the dot and was almost left behind.
The group set out to meet Matinee in Chirk with the Lantern big ringing it up the Tally Ho (Chirk side) for the first time in years - no one noticed and he was f**ked by the top.
After collecting the Matinee the group headed up the Ceiriog valley where the climbers were conspicuous by their absence from the front of the bunch. Even the Lantern had a go!! Chris was busy pointing out to Matinee that although he was very colour coordinated with his bike, his helmet clashed. This necessitated a piss stop in Glyn Ceiriog where the matinee was able to confirm this sad fact.
After Glyn the pace gradually kept creeping up and the Lantern slipped from head of the bunch to his usual spot in double quick time. Still he held on until just after Llanarmon……..
Just outside the village the road goes round a few bends then there is a right turn and pain swoops down; or at least it did for the Lantern. As most of the peleton disappeared up the road the Lantern impersonated a woman in protracted labour and fought to keep the Patron’s back wheel in sight. After regrouping at the top there was a slight descent before another steep, but mercifully short, climb before a nice long descent.
The Lantern had recovered enough by now to admire the spot in the road where he, the Patron and Chris had hit the deck spectacularly a few years earlier - oh what happy memories cycling gives you.
Before we knew it the group barrelled through the town and turned right for the climb up to the falls. Well I know its been a while since we last did it but I’m bloody sure someone’s moved the waterfall in the interim. The Lantern barely made it across the car park to the café.
During lunch there was much talk of the Eisteddfod’s opening concert the previous evening. Ron asked whether they’d sung in Welsh. Vino couldn’t have looked more appalled if Ron had asked him to wipe his a**e.
Matinee, Mark and Chris were both muttering about getting back and the Lantern was fearful of the pace on the way back (with good reason as it turned out).
The pace down the Tenant valley began at a brisk but doable 21-22mph. The Lantern even began to entertain thoughts he could keep that up until they reached Oswestry some 13 miles away. After a particularly brave and arduous (well I thought so) turn on the front the Lantern peeled off and the world went white. Or at least it did for the Lantern. Vino hit the front and the accelerator simultaneously and the Lantern spent the next couple of miles desperately hanging on behind Mark. Ron, the Candle and Matinee continued to put the hurt on the Lantern whose internal dialogue consisted of trying to persuade his legs they were behaving like sissies and it wasn’t hurting at all. The Lantern saw the approaching turn off for Blodwell Bank and thought “Nearly at the crossroads”. At that moment the Patron stuck out his left hand and the Lantern caved and admitted his legs had been right all along.
There was nothing left and he crawled up Blodwell like a snail going over broken glass. The climb from Oswestry up towards Selattyn was made bearable by the Candle’s promise to run him home afterwards.
After Western Rhyn Matinee peeled off to race home in time for an afternoon at Hogwarts and Chris, Ron, Vino, Mark and the Candle raced off up the Tally Ho.
Meanwhile at the back the Lantern had blown more thoroughly than Linda Lovelace over her entire career and the Patron was contemplating calling in Britannia Rescue to get him home.
Eventually he trundled back to the Patron’s and had a reviving cuppa followed by that much needed lift home.
This was a proper ‘head gasket’s gone’ implosion by the Lantern. Too much too soon was the charge levelled at him by the Patron and it was right. Still at least he knew he’d worked hard.
As always thanks to all on the ride for making it so enjoyable and hopefully we’ll meet up again next week and I won’t implode.
The group set out to meet Matinee in Chirk with the Lantern big ringing it up the Tally Ho (Chirk side) for the first time in years - no one noticed and he was f**ked by the top.
After collecting the Matinee the group headed up the Ceiriog valley where the climbers were conspicuous by their absence from the front of the bunch. Even the Lantern had a go!! Chris was busy pointing out to Matinee that although he was very colour coordinated with his bike, his helmet clashed. This necessitated a piss stop in Glyn Ceiriog where the matinee was able to confirm this sad fact.
After Glyn the pace gradually kept creeping up and the Lantern slipped from head of the bunch to his usual spot in double quick time. Still he held on until just after Llanarmon……..
Just outside the village the road goes round a few bends then there is a right turn and pain swoops down; or at least it did for the Lantern. As most of the peleton disappeared up the road the Lantern impersonated a woman in protracted labour and fought to keep the Patron’s back wheel in sight. After regrouping at the top there was a slight descent before another steep, but mercifully short, climb before a nice long descent.
The Lantern had recovered enough by now to admire the spot in the road where he, the Patron and Chris had hit the deck spectacularly a few years earlier - oh what happy memories cycling gives you.
Before we knew it the group barrelled through the town and turned right for the climb up to the falls. Well I know its been a while since we last did it but I’m bloody sure someone’s moved the waterfall in the interim. The Lantern barely made it across the car park to the café.
During lunch there was much talk of the Eisteddfod’s opening concert the previous evening. Ron asked whether they’d sung in Welsh. Vino couldn’t have looked more appalled if Ron had asked him to wipe his a**e.
Matinee, Mark and Chris were both muttering about getting back and the Lantern was fearful of the pace on the way back (with good reason as it turned out).
The pace down the Tenant valley began at a brisk but doable 21-22mph. The Lantern even began to entertain thoughts he could keep that up until they reached Oswestry some 13 miles away. After a particularly brave and arduous (well I thought so) turn on the front the Lantern peeled off and the world went white. Or at least it did for the Lantern. Vino hit the front and the accelerator simultaneously and the Lantern spent the next couple of miles desperately hanging on behind Mark. Ron, the Candle and Matinee continued to put the hurt on the Lantern whose internal dialogue consisted of trying to persuade his legs they were behaving like sissies and it wasn’t hurting at all. The Lantern saw the approaching turn off for Blodwell Bank and thought “Nearly at the crossroads”. At that moment the Patron stuck out his left hand and the Lantern caved and admitted his legs had been right all along.
There was nothing left and he crawled up Blodwell like a snail going over broken glass. The climb from Oswestry up towards Selattyn was made bearable by the Candle’s promise to run him home afterwards.
After Western Rhyn Matinee peeled off to race home in time for an afternoon at Hogwarts and Chris, Ron, Vino, Mark and the Candle raced off up the Tally Ho.
Meanwhile at the back the Lantern had blown more thoroughly than Linda Lovelace over her entire career and the Patron was contemplating calling in Britannia Rescue to get him home.
Eventually he trundled back to the Patron’s and had a reviving cuppa followed by that much needed lift home.
This was a proper ‘head gasket’s gone’ implosion by the Lantern. Too much too soon was the charge levelled at him by the Patron and it was right. Still at least he knew he’d worked hard.
As always thanks to all on the ride for making it so enjoyable and hopefully we’ll meet up again next week and I won’t implode.
Saturday 6 August 2011
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