Monday 28 May 2012

Beauty and Beast Sportive

This was Saturdays Sportive stats, I completed the full course Mike and Gladys did the slightly shorter course. Some bally hard hills on the route plus a nasty head wind for a large part of it.

Saturday 26 May 2012

Punctures, P*ss Stops and Sunstroke

Superb summer ride today - just shy of 94 miles, 16 mph average, a few thousand feet of climbing and a clear blue sky. Reporting for duty were Robbo, Patron, Brian and Gareth.

A long flattish run into Llanygynog followed by the Milltir Cerrig and Cwm Hirnant climbs in quick succession, then a pretty tough headwind for the last 40 odd miles.




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Friday 25 May 2012

For all those with smart phones and / or GPS

Get the strava app on your phone and track your rides and challange on the hills who can be the Crapi King of the Mountain.... Probably Carl or maybe Cabbage or maybe Chris who knows?????

Saturday 19 May 2012

Pinging in the rain 19/05/12

Rollcall:

Craig 'Roger Whittaker' Scott
Mike 'Candle' Davies
Robbo 'Matinee' Roberts
Allan 'Le Patron' Jones
Chris 'Chrissy' Hughes
Carl 'Vino' Jones
Ian 'Lantern' Davies
Herbie 'Coppi' Hughes
Ronnie 'Lionel Blair' Hughes
Cabbage 'Cabbage' Cabbage




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Alternative Garmin map below

Sunday 13 May 2012

Coppi returns, and so does 'Off the Back'

22/04/12 - OTB - Candle Power on the way out……..

Seeing as how three weeks has passed since this event apologies if I make most of this one up!!! 9am in Patrons for a jaunt to Cerrig via Ruthin.

Assembling by Patron’s front gate were messrs Matinee, Chris, Ron, Craig, Candle, Gaz Waud, Cabbage, Brian and the Lantern. Lantern reckoned he could do with the extra mileage and it would give him bragging rights with Carl who was meeting them in Coedpoeth.

Ron sidled up with a knowing look in his eye and announced to the Lantern that he had a fool-proof ruse to win today and triumphantly produced a clear plastic box with orange coloured sweets in it. “Heard it on the radio” he announced, “90% of racing is about having the right tic-tacs…………”

As the group headed up past Legacy heading for Minera it became clear that the Candle’s trials of last weekend were not over as he slid off the back. Once Vino had been collected the group headed up onto the tops and onwards towards Ruthin.

Whilst navigating the Nant y Garth a fleet of super cars appeared behind the peleton and filled the air with over-rich (and we’re not talking about the drivers here) petrol. Did they sit patiently behind us until it was safe to pass? Did they balls. With overtaking attempts more hare-brained than Ron’s coming off the Horseshoe, the stunted little beasts proceeded to go round bends in the middle of the road and repeatedly tried to run riders off the road. What people with small dicks feel they need to do to make up for their inadequacies………anyway enough about the peleton!!

At Llysfasi with the fumes still clearing the decision was made to hang a left (past Dobbies if you’re lost) and follow the road round (and up and down) until it rejoined the A494. The group then rocketed along the valley floor all the way back to Ruthin before turning left at the signpost for Cerrig. To say the peleton splintered at this point does not really do it justice. Ron, Carl, Matinee, Chris, Cabbage, Craig & Gaz all sallied forth up the road to varying degrees whilst Brian tried to keep pace with the Patron who was plainly on a good day.

Meanwhile the Lantern got to Clawdd-newydd and decided he better get his book out and wait for the Candle (who knew when it would next be handy to have a favour in the bank). The brothers Davies (who are to cycling what the Charltons were to hairstyles) then plodded along quietly eventually arriving in Cerrig where they collected a bewildered looking Brian and shepherded him to the café.

In true Crapi style straight after the café the peleton hit the climb out of Cerrig up towards Llyn Brenig. By now the weather was starting to turn colder (i.e. it was freezing) and rain was in the air.

Just before the sharp climb up towards the lake the peleton hung a right heading for Pentre llyn cymmer. After about a mile the road takes a very nasty turn upwards and much, sweating, cursing and farting ensued (and that was just the Patron!!). By now rain capes had been donned and the Candle fitted with a GPS so the Lantern could keep track of him.

The lead group (i.e. everyone bar the Candle and the Lantern) sped along the rollercoaster (as the road was christened) before passing within yards of the Candle’s front door and onwards through Cyffylliog and Bontuchel on their way to Ruthin.

Meanwhile back at the back it was f**king freezing with the wind and the rain combining to lift the Candle’s spirits as he trundled slowly past his own front door (no one was home to let him in…..). The decision was taken to go back the easy route up the Nant y Garth whilst the main group tackled The Shelf. Arriving in Ruthin it became clear that the peleton hadn’t waited (bastards!!) and the Candle gamely took a turn on the front before following the Lantern up the Nant (we did wait but quarter of a feckin hour is long enough by anyone's book - Ed)

By all accounts the main group splintered again on the Shelf climb with Craig announcing he was shutting it down as he had a race the next day. Note to Craig - nice try but everyone still reckons you were f**ked!!!!

Once they got over the shelf a group of Carl, Cabbage, Matinee & Chris (I can’t remember its ages since Matinee regaled me with the story) made a break for home. Matinee and Vino snapped the elastic (Vino turned off in Coedpoeth) leaving Matinee to claim first back at the cars shortly before Chris' arrival less than a minute later.

Once through the Nant y Garth the Lantern and Candle kept up a reasonable pace until they were joined by the Patron in Coedpoeth. The Lantern ducked out to go back for a hot shower and left the Candle in the capable hands of the Patron.

By all accounts there were some very tired bodies in the Patron’s teashop that day. Not least of which was Gaz who got lost and spent 20 minutes cycling round Wrexham before the smell of wet bike kit finally drew him back to the Patron’s residence.

As always an enjoyable ride with the lads and special hats off to the Candle for getting round after being f**ked by Legacy!! I won’t say see you next week as we all did our own thing……

05/05/12 - OTB - Just a few hills boys…..

Christ 9am start in Bala and as if that wasn’t bad enough both Patron and Vino seemed a bit out of touch with the time taken to get there. Hence both cars arrived around 8.30am.

Once Vino and the Lantern had got themselves suitably attired they trundled over to the other car park to see Vino’s mate’s Aled and Paul - Aled is known as a bit good and Paul looked a bit tasty too!!

Eventually Brian, his mate Gareth & the ever tardy Candle arrived to make up the peleton of Patron, Chris, Ron, Vino, Lantern, Brian, Gareth, Aled and Paul.

The early signs were not good as the Lantern’s legs were screaming as they left the car park. As soon as the group turned left to head up towards Rhyd-Uchaf he had that creeping thought “my legs are fecked today”.

The group pretended not to notice as they wound their way up and round before re-crossing the A4212 road and heading up towards the sometime café in the middle of nowhere. Here, instead of the usual blast down towards Bleanau the peleton turned hard right and followed the signs for Ysbyty Ifan. The Candle took pity on the Lantern and rode with him up to the junction.

Instead of turning right for Ysbyty (as us locals refer to it..) the peleton continued straight on and eventually descended steeply (note to Patron - do not take us up that climb!!!!!) into Penmachno before trundling along to the café stop after a paltry 25 miles.

Fully refreshed the group set off for the Crimea and before long the Lantern was flickering a long way off the back. Eventually the Patron took pity and waited before leading a by now distressed lantern up the climb. At the top gels were forced down and capes donned before rounding the corner to find the rest of the peleton waiting.

The Candle was left on the top as the descent started (couldn’t get his cape on - Batman never had that trouble) and once on the road down to Maentwrog the Lantern sat up to wait (well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). Once the Candle swept past he followed him to the turning where they turned right up the main road on Candle’s advice as the alternative known as “Vino’s steep one” would quite possibly do for the Lantern given how he was going.

So it was the group came back together without too long a wait for the main bunch and they sit off up the road heading for the log cabins and the gated road beyond.

Is it me or do those cabin’s seem to get further down that road each time we go? Chris dropped back to pace Brian and, for part of the way at least, the Lantern back into the fold before Vino took pity on the struggling Lantern and accompanied him to the Cabins.

General refuelling took place and the road ahead was assessed for the benefit of those who’d never done it before. “It’s a bastard” said everyone who had done it before. Gareth looked pensively at the Patron and said “I’ve only got a 25 on the back, that’ll be ok won’t it?”. Never one to waste words Patron’s response was simply “No”.

As usual the peleton splintered badly on the climb with Vino, Aled and Paul leading the way with Chris, Ron, Candle and the Patron chugging along behind.

The Lantern was preying to any god he thought might be listening by this stage and several times he came to bits of road he was convinced he’d never make it up without walking. Yet somehow he did and arrived at the rest of the peleton.

The patron’s one word response was proving prophetic for Gareth as his 25 was no match for the gated road and his cleat’s got a bit more road time than he would have liked.

Once over the hump the peleton stayed together and a rather curious thing occurred; the Lantern’s legs suddenly stopped hurting. As the group went through Llanuwchllyn the road went left and up to signal the run around the lake. The peleton surged up the road and the Lantern, much to his amazement (which was still nothing compared to the Candle’s), went with them and stayed with them for most of the run down the lakeside before a dig by the Patron (Bastard!!) finished him off and he trailed in somewhere behind the bunch and in front of the Candle who finished muttering things like “Where the f**k did he get that energy from” and “Sandbagging little git”.

This was truly an epic ride and one which my rather fractured memory cannot do justice here. It was a ride full of pain and one that had me feeling knackered for the rest of the day. Chatting the following week it wasn’t just me either. But it was a great day out on the bike - 9am start; 4pm back in Coedpoeth. For me just over 5 hours for 68 miles.

As always thanks to everyone who cam along and made it so enjoyable.

12/05/12 - OTB - Flying Dead Italian Returns…..

After weeks of negotiations the Patron finally landed the big one; Elvis’ bike out with the peleton with Coppi aboard wearing a pair of tights that looked like they’d seen service with Gracie Fields during the war.

Also reporting for duty were Vino (or sick note as he’ll be known soon), Ron, Chris “I’ve still got this bastard cold”, Candle, Cabbage, Lantern, Mark “The Rocket” and the Patron.

The call was for a sedate one today with a little bit of climbing for Coppi to test out those legs. “Jesus” the Lantern thought he’s had white shoes to go with the white bike and white tyres. If we’re ever out in the snow we’ll never find the Fecker!!

Brian was duly collected from the Garden Centre but not before Ron had launched one of his characteristic high cadence accelerations to make it to the front on the climb. “He looks like Lionel Blair on a bike” Vino noted to much merriment.

The peleton then headed towards Oswestry and the racecourse hill. Coppi showed he’d lost none of his fighting spirit (or gurning ability) as he battled up the first climb of the day.

At the top Brian, Ron and Cabbage headed off to go up part of the beast before turning right, then left and dropping down into Treflach. The rest of the peleton pushed on down the side of the racecourse before heading up towards Trefonen & Treflach wondering whether Ron would ever be seen again.

Once through Treflach the group descended Blodwell and turned left, hopped over the X-roads at Llynclys before pitching up at the café in Maesbury.

When Coppi dismounted his steed it became evident he still has quite a pronounced limp (imagine Quasimodo walking whilst wearing a freshly filled nappy and you get the gist of it). The patron looked him up and down and said “Coppi I think your ballet dancing career may be over”.

Amazingly Ron, Brian and Cabbage turned up under their own steam and, after a lovely bit of scran, the full peleton set off again ready for its second date with the racecourse.

Up through Morda the bunch went before turning left to ascend the side of the racecourse (which they’d earlier descended) and once again Coppi showed a decent pair of legs (but still awful tights) to get up the climb a second time.

After that it was a gentlish jaunt over the top to Selattyn before dropping down through Western Rhyn and heading the back of Chirk Castle before finishing with the Tally Ho.

Coppi was flagging a bit by now but with brother Chris riding shotgun he got up the Tally Ho with a couple of gears left. By now his spirits were starting to flag (just like his gusset!!!) and he headed straight home for a bath and the last rites.

It’s a shame he didn’t stop for a cuppa as even Ron was moved to praise his speed and fitness after such a long absence.

Nothing more to say except that it was brilliant to have Coppi back out with the lads and for him to complete a 50 miler with the group after such a long absence was quite an achievement. As I said on the ride Coppi “Come on you slow bastard!!”, no sorry that wasn’t it was it - I look forward to riding up them Alps with you in a months time mate, and it was great to have you back.

Wednesday 9 May 2012

Sunday 6 May 2012

Carbis Bay to Sennen Cove and St Just/Penzance loop

I like a freebie as much as anyone and 'Map My Ride' is a pretty good free application to map many rides. Today's route however demonstrates just how woefully inaccurate it can be and its lack of attention to detail. To put it into perspective, this 40 odd mile route is pretty darn tough and is littered (and I mean absolutely peppered) with 15 - 25% climbs all over the place, and I only managed a 14mph ave. The climb at the half way point is a majorly ludicrous 25% for about a mile yet 'map my ride' gives it a paltry 2 or 3%!!!!!!!!

Anywho, if you happen to be visiting the South West of Cornwall and you fancy a seaside challenge, this road is a MUST, for either push-bike or motorbike (Mike).




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