Blaenau back breaker

Up for it - Robbo, Lantern, Patron, Vino, Chrissy and Ronnie.

'Off the back' will hopefully follow as soon as the Lantern has been de-fibrillated for a third time




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Off the Back - 25/03/12 - Slate & Sore Legs

In his own inimitable style the patron paid no heed to the hour going forward and called for a 9am depart in Bala (personally I think he did it deliberately). Only the Rhostyllen wreckin’ crew of Al, Chris & Ron; the Matinee Idol; Carl “the whippet” Jones and the grumbling lantern turned up for the off.

The problem this time of year is its difficult to know what to wear (especially as Milan fashion week hasn’t been yet). The brave Matinee and the Lantern opted for shorts but only the Lantern went for the full sub-zero Antarctic neoprene over shoes option. Would he pay for this as the day warmed up?

Out of Bala, a quick left turn and we were already on the first climb of the day taking the back road that snaked up, over the rolling hills and then round the lake before recrossing the main Bala - Trawsfynydd road. The lantern was already being distanced by this point as the mountain gazelles sped off up the road with only the ever watchful patron “keeping an eye on the lad” whilst trusty sidekick Chris rode shotgun.

Across the main road the group snaked up and over (but mostly up) before plunging down towards Ffestiniog where the Lantern was once again distanced. The day was starting to warm up and it was shaping up to be a hot one; steam was by now starting to seep from the Lantern’s overshoes.

Once through Ffestiniog the group rode to Blaenau and prepared for the ascent of the Crimea. The Lantern having been somewhat distanced now even by the apparently not ever watchful patron took in the sights of Blaenau’s slag heaps and concluded it was even more f**ked than he was.

Up the road prey was sighted on the Crimea and Carl was dutifully dispatched to reel him in which he did with aplomb. Matinee and Ron followed over the top with Chris and Patron a little way behind. You may not be surprised to learn that the Lantern had been distanced on the climb and rode solo down the other side all the way to Betws. Thankfully the tardy waitress service meant the rest of the group had only just been served by the time he arrived. The Lantern flopped down and immediately fogged up Patron‘s Oakleys with the steam from his overshoes!!

Suitably refreshed the group set off up the A5 before turning off at Ysbyty Ifan. Amazingly the Lantern wasn’t distanced during this pull up the A5 but only because the rest of the group took pity on him and he worked pretty hard for a fatty!

The early part of the ascent from Ysbyty is not too bad and even the Lantern kept the rest in sight. Carl twiddled along slightly off the front until he fell off whilst watching a bird (of the feathered variety). This unscheduled stop allowed the Lantern to catch up before everyone splintered as people took the climb at their own pace. The Lantern’s was pretty slow but thankfully the sun was out so the lads were able to work on their tans whilst waiting for him to arrive. They where able to chart his progress by the steam of cloud enveloping him from his overshoes.

Eventually the group rejoined the Trawsfynydd-Bala road. The agreed aim was to keep the Lantern on board who by this stage was looking like a stunned herring. As things are wont to do with the Crapis things did not go exactly to plan. Somewhere whilst going around Llyn Celyn Ron managed to get a gap on the bunch. Chris led the chase with the Lantern somewhat exposed in second wheel.

Eventually the moment of truth arrived and Chris flicked his arm. The Lantern surged past onto the front (I may have exaggerated this somewhat) and did a massive turn on the front that re-energised the chase (I have definitely exaggerated this!!) before passing through the bunch faster than a Madras passing through the Patron to slide off the back.

Subsequent reports were that Ron buried himself (he disputes this claim) but was still caught. After that I’m a bit hazy but suffice to say the lads arrived back at the cars a good 10, alright 15, minutes before the spent Lantern whose overshoes by now resembled a Chinese laundry..

A knackering day and everyone claimed to be tired afterwards. Hats off to Carl (and not just for giving me a lift) who seemed to be on a very good day.

As always thanks to the rest of the lads for making it an enjoyable (in retrospect anyway) day out and for not grumbling too much when I held them up. I would say hope to see you all next week but as I’m writing this after next week’s ride it’d be a bit pointless.

Epic ride and as Max Boyce would say “I was there” and as he wouldn’t say “miles behind the others”!