Long Mountain, Deux Maillot Jaune and mistaken identity.

Brian, Craig and Robbo arranged to meet the rest of the bunch at Overton, and a motley crew of Gareth, Ronnie, Hughesy, Cabbage, Patron, Coppi, Lantern and Rocket crested the hill out of Erbistock one by one. A quick glance around confirmed all riders to be replete in matching CRAPI team kit, apart from two notable exceptions – Lantern and Coppi, who for reasons best known to themselves, were bedecked in matching yellow jerseys, souvenirs of last year’s Alpine jaunt. The similarity between the two of them was uncanny, even Coppi’s brothers couldn’t tell them apart, as the peloton rolled on to Ellesmere, eagerly debating which of the ‘yellow jerseys’ would be the protected rider for the day. A right turn in Ellesmere signalled the start of the ‘Tour of Flanders’ section of the ride, and shortly afterwards, an ally of Robbo’s pedalled alongside and whispered that Ronnie would be out to get him today, following the previous week’s misadventure. Robbo made a mental note to look for the tell-tale signs of Ronnie’s cunning plan as the route wound its way along to Baschurch, Melverley and Princes Oak before the main drag of the day, the Long Mountain road to Welshpool. Legs and lungs were tested as Gareth led the way up the climb, pursued at a slightly less frenetic pace by Craig, Rocket, Cabbage, Robbo and Brian, whilst the rest of the bunch opted for a sedate ascent. Notable by his absence at this juncture was Ronnie, who when last sighted was glass cranking down the road with the rear bunch – a sure sign of energy conservation for battles still to come. The stop at the Inglenook cafe came at the 50+ mile mark and each finely honed athlete opted for the full cooked breakfast, with the exception of Craig, who chose a very healthy chicken salad sandwich, and a plate of chips roughly twice the size of Rhostyllen colliery bank. Breakfasts were heartily dispatched, apart from Coppi’s, who had the look of a man forcing down his last supper before a dawn appointment with the gallows. Surely the return leg of the ride wasn’t going to be that hard, was it? Shortly after passing the Guilsfield turning, we split into two, as Ronnie, Robbo, Gareth, Brian, Cabbage, Craig and Mark pushed on, leaving Patron and Hughesy to protect a yellow jersey each. The pace to Oswestry was brisk but comfortable, halted only by the need for an impromptu group ‘natural break’ shortly before Blodwell bank. A straw poll was taken to determine the plan of action should the group split on Blodwell bank, but in the event we re-grouped at the top for the run into Oswestry. Riders yo-yo’d on and off the front and back of the group through Treflach as legs were tested to see what was left in the tank. On the final drag up to Os, Robbo found himself off the front of the group and a quick look over his shoulder confirmed the only rider on his wheel was Gareth. Gareth eventually came round and pulled away over the crest of the drag, whilst Robbo waited for the rest of the bunch to catch up, fairly safe in the knowledge that Gareth would wait in Oswestry. A minute or two later, the rest of the bunch rode up to Robbo’s wheel and he was dumb-struck to see that one of them was........GARETH! Robbo’s heart sunk as he realised the rider that had just ridden off into the sunset ahead of him was actually Ronnie!!! He silently cursed the matching club kit which had led to the confusion, but felt a painful glimmer of admiration for the crafty smiling assassin, who’d managed to do him over as promised. Brian, Craig and Robbo peeled off in their various directions home leaving Mark, Gareth and Cabbage to be the first home to Rhostyllen, followed not long after by the two yellow jerseys (more like yellow cardigans at this stage) and their faithful domestiques. Individual mileages varied between 80 odd and 96 miles for the day, my computer recorded 84 miles and a 16mph ave.