21/01/12 - OTB - The Patron Returns - Winter Pace Still Missing!!

The Patron, fully revived after a week of coughing his lungs up, restored the traditional 9am start for a “gentle” (his word) ride out to Maesbury.

Reporting for duty were Chris, Ron, Candle and the Lantern. The peleton set out for a meeting with Matinee, Roger & Brian the Beast at Moreton Garden Centre. After collecting the said motley bunch, the peleton set off through Western Rhyn. The somewhat benign base to Oswestry gave no hint of the carnage to come. Upon entering Oswestry the Patron, true to his character, eschewed the easy options and called for a right turn to allow Craig and Robbo to test themselves on 39x25 ascent of Racecourse hill

Soon the air was rent by the sounds of middle aged, rotund (and that’s just the fit buggers!!) cyclists wheezing their way up the climb. The Lantern took up his usual position somewhere off the back and the Patron rode station some 100 yards ahead, rather light a wartime destroyer escorting a ponderous bulk carrier across the Atlantic.

After a short rest at the top the Lantern thought he must be hallucinating as he could have sworn the Patron’s next suggested route was to head up the Beast and then turn right halfway up to come out in Trefonen. No, he must have heard that wrong……

F**king gentle ride my a**e thought the Lantern as the peleton barrelled along to the bottom of the Beast and then splintered mightily on the climb with Chris apparently eager to animate things at the front of the race (or so a certain 1950’s style movie idol told me).

Whilst Chris was labouring to repair the Candle’s mud guard which now included a cut out section (on the plus side you couldn’t here his approach from 2 miles away anymore) the Patron was attempting to keep both Ron and the Lantern in sight. No easy feat unless you’re cross eyed. The Lantern managed to catch up just as the final climb levelled out. True to form Ron then swept past the turning despite the Patron’s words “Take the next left Ron” still ringing in his ears.

At the bottom of Blodwell the peleton reconvened and Matinee suggested we all stick together on the run down to the café. Quite why he then decided to time trial down to the crossroads was anybody’s guess. Never mind thought the Lantern we’re bound to take the short route to the café today……

Once over the crossroads things went a bit Pete Tong as Matinee, Craig and initially Brian and Ron put the hammer down to about 35mph. Unsurprising the peleton split faster than a fat bird’s knickers doing the twist. The result was that Matinee and Craig screamed off up the road and missed the short cut turn off for the café. As a result they were last to arrive.

After refreshment the Matinee was somewhat perturbed that his plan to go back up the side of the racecourse had been voted down. For once it wasn’t the Lantern that spoke his mind but he certainly didn’t object to the change of route.

The peleton now headed towards Whittington, via the by now almost obligatory piss stop (why they didn’t go at the café lord only knows) and Brian led the bunch towards Gobowen.

The group then trundled back up towards Western Rhyn. By now cracks were starting to appear in the peleton once again. The Lantern was joined off the back by Brian and the Candle who appeared to be taking a breather.

By Chirk Bank the Lantern was suffering and that continued up the Tally Ho and back home. Sitting in Patron’s Transport Café afterwards Chris, Ron and the Patron all agreed it had been a hard ride. Funny how every ride for the last few weeks has ended with bodies strewn about the lanes, heartfelt endorsements to any statement about the pace being too high and yet I guarantee you next week no one (well no one apart from me and I don’t count) will suggest going any slower.

Another hard yet ultimately enjoyable ride but I for one won’t mind if you take things a little slower next week guys!!!