OTB - 14/01/12 - A Foggy Day in Shropshire

Two developments on the morning of the ride; one a major surprise the other maybe not so much. The Lantern arrived at the car park by the Patron’s to find Roger Whitaker whistling tunelessly & the Candle almost dressed. “Hmm maybe they have turned over a new leaf” he thought. This was immediately dispelled by Candle’s opening line saying he’d forgotten his overshoes (only the coldest ride for about 10 months). A text to Patron (he’s bound to have a spare set!!) elicited the shock news that the Candle could use his as he was full of cold and wouldn’t be joining us (later betting was suspended when odds reached 5-4 on, that he’d go out “Just for an hour you know” on his own on Sunday).

So leaderless the peloton of Vino (muffled up like Scott of the Antarctic), Chris, Ron, Roger, Candle and Lantern set off. Somewhere by the bridge over the A483 Cabbage caught up, and was nice enough not to mention we’d fecked off without him.

The Candle set a brisk pace up from Newbridge towards the A5 whilst Chris indulged his bike porn fetish by quizzing Roger about his proposed new steed. It was later commented that if his bike gets any more high tech, Team GB are going to be increasing their gold medal prospects and Brad Wiggins will be out of a job.

Matinee was collected and, after consulting with Chris, it was quickly decided we’d climb up to Trefonen and down Blodwell on the way to the café. Willy’s were non too discreetly waved on the drag up to Trefonen (not at all, lazy arse Lantern just wasn't trying hard enough - Ed) whilst Carl paced himself (as I’ve said before hats off for coming out with the lads and then racing on a Sunday!!)Candle & the Lantern at the rear.

The Candle was still feeling the effects of his night out/late night when he somehow failed to see either Roger’s rear wheel or a**e just above it (I suspect he may have fallen asleep on his bike!!). Once at the bottom of Blodwell, Robbo and Chris decreed to turn right and go through Llansantffraid and Llanymynech. “It looks a bit foggy” the Lantern thought. Ten minutes later the peleton was cycling through frozen fog that resembled a real pea-souper from old London town. All traffic appearing out of the gloom had a man with a red flag walking in front of them.

Matinee and a few hardy others had a piss stop, whilst those with stronger bladders keep a steady pace to keep warm. The group came back together in Llanymynech. The Candle hit the front here, only to be overtaken quickly by a fast moving Chris who was followed by the equally flying Ron. Ron peeled off and the Candle hit the front, only for Matinee to pile past. “Don’t let him go on the front” the Lantern wailed. Matinee slowly turned the screw on the way to the Knockin junction. A mere 50 yards from the junction (which to be fair you couldn’t see in the fog) the Candle pulled off & looked like Jens Voight after an epic turn on the front (i.e. absolutely f**ked!!). The Lantern held on as he knew the road a bit better, but the hurt had been put on and no mistake, and he cursed Robbo on the road to Maesbury.

After some lovely soup at Maesbury cafe, the group got back on the bikes and all agreed the temperature had now reached “f**king freezing”. After stopping for a team photo (coming to a website near you - is it just me or has the Candle got a Beyonce arse thing going on in the photos?).

Carl, maybe due to impending frostbite, hit the front and ramped the pace up on the way down to Whittington. This left the Lantern with the task of leading the bunch out of Whittington and up towards Gobowen. Jesus I hate that stretch of road!! Anyway the task was accomplished without too much sniggering.

After bidding farewell to Robbo at Gledrid, the peloton fractured on the ride back to Rhostyllen. Cabbage and Ron went off the front followed by Roger and Vino, leaving Chris to shepherd home the Lantern and the Candle.

The Patron put in an appearance whilst the lads were loading up the cars to go home to check on his brood. Overall not as fast as last week but still a hard ride and at 54 miles longish for a winter outing. Once the extremities had thawed out it was definitely better than last week for me (but not for a couple of others…) & looking forward to getting out next week.

Thanks as always to the rest of you for making it an enjoyable, if somewhat chilly, ride. Hope to see as many as possible next weekend.