28th January 2012 - A quartet of crapis

The lowest turn-out for many a week took a jaunt along the A5 to Corwen, where a breakfast meeting with Mike was scheduled for 10.30am. “Is this it?” enquired Robbo, as he surveyed the dynamic duo of Ronnie and Patron at the Whitehurst meeting point. Further enquiries revealed that Chrissy was full of cold and Cabbage was a no-show. Mark had broken a shifter mid-week (doesn’t know his own strength that boy), Vino was enjoying apres-ski in some exotic Alpine retreat, Lamby was on granddad duty, whilst International man of mystery Craig was said to be undertaking a critical diplomatic mission somewhere in the Far East. Coppi is still convalescing and is now nursing a newly diagnosed broken collar bone and shoulder, whilst an eleventh hour sick note text from Lantern was predictably received shortly before kick-off, despite daily assurances to the contrary all week.

The motley triumvirate made steady progress through Llan until the Patron’s engine warning light came on shortly before the drag up past Berwyn station. A quick roadside diagnostic check (don’t ask where we had to plug it in) revealed a lack of power to the two main engines, with a rogue can of a well known brand of deodorant being the likely culprit. I know, it’s a long story, better ask him when you see him.................

Mike was patiently waiting the arrival of the grupetto in Corwen, where all four tucked into a full breakfast and mug of tea for under a fiver. Ronnie looked happy....

Shortly after leaving Corwen, we caught up with a tractor doing what tractors do best – causing bad tempers, long queues of irate drivers and general carnage on the road behind them. A bit like cyclists really. Downhill sections saw us easily catch the shit spreading ship of the vale and its rosy cheeked captain, only for it to tauntingly pull away from us on the drags. At the foot of the butterfly hill Ronnie had clearly had enough, and launched a last ditch attempt to get into the Massey’s slip stream for a free tow uphill, closely followed by Robbo. A few minutes later, the grinning pair were at the crest of the hill celebrating a 20mph average all the way up the drag. Cheers farmer.

Mike peeled off at Berwyn to get in some quality climbing over the shoe on the way back to Ruthin, and Robbo bid farewell to Ronnie and Patron at Chirk. Hopefully the peloton will be restored to some semblance of order next week.