Off the Back Archive - 14 April 2007

14th of April 2007

Really looking forward to this ride then "the patron" emails the route. Suddenly it doesn't look too inviting - you get flatter rides in the Alps.

Still we're off, I feel quite perky on the way to Ruthin, almost take a turn on the front until Ronnie hurtles past - obviously it wasn't meant to be!! Leaving Ruthin the hills start and the others are away - like four whippets and me struggling to chase them down like an asthmatic Newfoundland. God its hot, why am I the only one sweating? Still the leg from Cerrigydrudion to Corwen is fairly flat so maybe that won't be so bad...........

I'm still not sure what happened on the A5 apart from all hell breaking loose. All other road users were left flailing in a dust storm followed by the lonely tumbleweed (me of course!!). The temporary lights at Padog bends offer no respite as they change just as we arrive, oh goody! The crapiwheeler express barrows through, keeping pace with cars and then accelerating down the hill on the other side. I can no longer feel my legs!!

We eventually reach Corwen for the cafe stop. I dismount with all the style and aplomb of Jimmy Saville after a heavy night. My legs seem to be moving to some internal Shakin' Stevens soundtrack and I have no control over them. The stop overruns whilst Paul (our dashing matinee idol - he always dashes to the toilet as soon as we pass one!!) has apple pie for desert.

We start again and someone seems to have swapped my legs for a pair of rubber ones. Chris (who the hell let him have an even lighter bike - should be made to ride a butcher's bike!) and Paul are soon pulling clear (Maybe Paul needs the toilet again). Al & Ron slowly but surely leave me behind (or was it for dead?) With the aid of a long wait involving 3 games of chess, two of ludo and a quick burst of I-spy I catch up and we all enter Llangollen together.

Slowly, inevitably the elastic snaps between Llan and home - it’s a combination of me going slower and the rest finally deciding I'm not going to get any better. Left to my own devices I feel better and even, I imagine, put the hammer down a bit (Before you say anything I know, I know but allow me the escape of fantasy please!). I hurtle into Rhos like a runaway tortoise, I am very glad to be out of the saddle!

Everyone else has done their weekly shop by the time I get back but they are very kind and don't mention it. Naturally they are all appalled that I can't make next week's ride and show their disappointment with silence and playful smiles..........!! They'll be sorry when there's no one there to keep the pace nice and slow.

Seriously guys have a great ride next week and all you readers out there in cyber land be kind to all cyclists - one could just be the "lantern rouge".